Chances:
We give people more chances than they need, and more explanations than they deserve - because our intention is resolution.
The problem is, not everyone shares that intention.
Some people will take your words, twist them, and repurpose them into something they can use to justify their behaviour.
Not because they misunderstood you - but because their goal was never understanding.
It was harm.
Once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it.
Look at the patterns:
– Who rallies others instead of resolving things directly.
– Who hides public attacks behind the word “accountability”.
– Who thrives in group pile-ons and audience validation.
That’s not growth. That’s performance.
And the moment they realise you see them clearly? That’s when it escalates.
The truth is, I gave chances. I communicated. I clarified.
And now I’m choosing distance - not because I don’t care, but because I care enough about my peace not to stay around energy like that.
For those of us with CPTSD, this hits differently.
We don’t just “cut people off” lightly.
We stay longer. We try harder. We look for proof we haven’t misunderstood.
So when we do step away, it’s not impulsive - it’s informed. I'm proud of that. Evidence matters.
And that’s something people who lack empathy will never fully understand.
If anything, take it as a compliment.
People like this don’t target randomly.
They target people who see through them, who don’t play along, or who won’t tolerate behaviour that harms others.
Enablers play a role too. Silence, justification, and group mentality all feed the same cycle.
But honestly? I’m grateful.
Because every time the mask slips, I get clarity.
And my time, my energy, and my peace are too valuable to waste on people who choose harm over growth.
I’m proud of how I show up.
I’m proud that I give people the opportunity to be genuine.
And I’m just as proud to walk away when they show me they’re not.
There’s been a lot of noise the past few days.
A lot of assumptions. A lot of twisting. Same pattern, different people.
But facts don’t change.
And abuse doesn’t become acceptable just because it’s repeated loudly.
If you bring harm into my space, you’ll be removed from it.
It’s genuinely that simple.
Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s a standard.
And if you enable harm, don’t be surprised when it eventually turns on you too.
That cycle doesn’t protect anyone - it just rotates. Those you defend become the very ones that turn on you too. Be wiser.
Anyway… just some thoughts while drying my hair after a bath.
Funny how clarity finds you in the quiet moments.
Things have a way of revealing themselves when they need to.
Call it karma, call it the universe - either way, I trust the timing.
Absolutely I do.
Sarah Wingfield
Actor | Author | Advocate
KawaiiDollDecora.uk
#disabilityinclusion #strongertogether #disability #disabilityawareness #disabilitysupport #disabilityrights
Image made with canva and polish pro.
Alt text:
Pastel pink building against a soft turquoise sky in a minimalist, dreamy aesthetic. Bold white text reads: “I already gave plenty chances. Now I choose myself.” A vertical “KawaiiDollDecora.uk” label appears in the centre, with a pink signature at the bottom reading “Sarah Wingfield – Actress | Author | Advocate.” The overall style is calm, empowering and self-worth focused.
