Hiding away and hoping...

I have been hiding away and avoidant again for a while but now i need to speak up again...

Xmas is over now and we had a nice xmas as we stayed at my parents and they had bought a sofa and a matching sofa bed for their living room just for us!! Can you believe it, changed their furniture just so i would be able to sleep over at xmas.

I love them so much!

We are still fighting for a stairlift, our son is 6 weeks old 1st january and I am still trying to get my 6 weeks check up.

Whats happened about the stairlift?

Well, my new consultant originally refused to send social a letter about me as he refuses all his patients since a check from the county council previously bounced therefore its been seriously held up.

My SPD's getting much worse and a while ago now i was in hospital with the stomach pains, different to SPD pains and the consultant who saw me on the 10th the one who discharged me without telling me who i was reassigned to on the 10th Dec said that it would subside 6-8 weeks on, here I am 6 weeks on and its getting worse not better and now my joints are stiffening up, in which my health visitor (who is bloody fantastic by the way) and my GP (who does try his utmost best bless him) said that its possibly due to my immobility.

Anyway I got a call from my consultant and I asked for his help and I said to him they need me to meet certain criteria and my SPD is getting much worse etc... they need a letter to say that its likely to continue for the inforseable future and i explained all the problems with not having a stairlift. He said that if they did not pay him he may send me a letter to give to them.

Then i receive a letter this morning saying that he will only be prepared to write to them if a payment method is arranged on the outstanding amount and that it will briefly say that he believes it will subside in 6-8weeks!

By the time he sends that it will be around 10 weeks and it wont have subsided so they will shut my case down despite the SPD is still active, not accept another letter and i will have to fight to get all the way to 'start' again and wont be allowed to pass 'GO' as I will be stuck on the 'jail square' and am being refused bail and a get out of jail free card! SO basically its all a game to them and I will have to try and get on the list for an OT assessment again that is if theres not a policy, which is what i am expecting next, that prevents them re-assessing for like months or a year probably!!! It is so unfair.

My problems due to lack of stairlift:

-Stress = no eating and no sleeping. irritable, defensive, shaky, sweaty and on edge.

-cying

-not being able to decorate downstairs as too many things in living room would have to be moved and no where to put them outside, in kitchen or hallway, so no carpet, and no wallpaper.

-not being able to decorate upstairs, as Rob wants to do it WITH me and too right as it is our home and we like to pick things together but i cannot even view the rooms.

-i am constantly getting infections and I am saw in places I should not be and I am using sudocrem, I know its embarrassing but they are doing this to me, making me suffer!

-Feeling no self worth as I wont wear nice clothes or go to surestart with baby or anything as how can i leave the house like this?

-cannot have bed bath as cannot get into positions to clean properly, the shower seat is adapted so i can wash everywhere with husbands help but cannot stand for long or move to positions where i can have a bed bath and cannot wash my hair at all.

and much more... :(

UPDATE from: Thursday 7.1.10.

My 6 weeks check up has been unnecessarily postponed till late January around my 10-11 week postnatally.

I am in a lot of pain with the Prolene stitch and it is opening up my wound.
I am getting worse in regards to my SPD.

I requested an appointment earlier than that and as soon as possible due to the need for an assessment and some help, they have refused despite me breaking down in tears and needing help. They have said if i am not happy change my consultant then!

My consultant was still only willing to submit a report about my SPD for the stairlift (bearing in mind his opinion is that the stairlift is nothing to do with him) ONLY if social services / county council sorted out some sort of payment that was outstanding, which i received a statement confirming this in writing to which without further, and much needed assessment, he was going to write that my SPD is likely to subside around 6-8 weeks, I have been trying to get an appt. as soon as possible as this was his opinion from when i saw him at 36 weeks pregnant.

I have seen him twice since but for no more than 10 mins max per seeing him. The first one was to say that the week i was induced he never told me but he was at a meeting down london, then i was discharged without notice to which when i phoned for his help, his secretary stated politely that i am not to contact him again, and the second time was when my prolene stitch was swollen and they did a CT scan and said that there was nothing sinister and they will leave the Prolene in.

I am starting to feel let down now as more people i meet are making me feel like I am a problem.

Luckily the social services OT is willing to hold my case for now and I have phoned DLA for help from them to which they are sending me a letter to forward to social to say about what rate I am on and how long i have it for, to attempt to help with the case. She will show it to her manager at social and see but apparantly a consultant needs to write them.

So again, I am suffering, and waiting.....

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