Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Finally meet the light at the end of the tunnel:
Never mind baby meeting the light at the end of the tunnel, I did today when I met my new consultant and the new midwife that dealt with me today.
I was extremely scared and anxious and worried about my baby and all the talk of high risk and things and this morning on the way I got a call from a children in need team lady which panicked me lots as it is all unnecessary but if they insist on wasting their time I am more than confident that they will be able to see the facts.
Saw the midwife before the consultant and I broke down and cried a bit and was honest about my past and how things have gone so far, and all I want is to be able to walk again, have a healthy baby make sure he is ok and be the best mam I can be, she gave me all my results from back in August till today, which no one had given us previously and she gave me a much needed cuddle.
That cuddle was just enough to lift all the stress and weight from our shoulders we have been carrying till today, 37th week in pregnancy. She was reassuring and so kind. I am still in shock at how far a smile, a positive attitude and a caring nature can go. This meant so much to me, felt like I had won the lottery, really did. Really was the best thing.
The consultant was fantastic too and he has restored all my faith in the NHS now, I am relaxed and much more confident about the birth now, I feel I am in really good hands and he confirmed he believed me about the SPD which was such a relief for once for me not to feel I have to prove anything or that I am a burden or a problem and now I don't need to pay for a private physio to justify the condition prior to the birth.
He even agreed to refer me to the Physio I have been speaking with after the birth if the condition has not subsided and I am still struggling which is greatly appreciated and again means more than the world to me and my husband and means I could get better for my baby!
He spoke of possible induction so we could meet our baby as soon as next week! Which is such a relief due to the amount of pain I am in, which I know I am not coping with but baby is healthy and happy and it is him that is keeping me strong!!!
I see him next week wednesday and really have a good feeling about everything now, it is so weird how things have turned.
I am still adamant on supporting SPD sufferers as I was between two hospitals previously that I feel now, have caused such unnecessary additional suffering and stress throughout my pregnancy up until now.
Raising awareness cannot do any damage and should help others get the care they need and help professionals become better and more respected people, as I know their jobs are difficult and some may be making their jobs more difficult than necessary, so knowledge is always a good thing.
I feel so blessed and lucky now to have found this consultant and this team prior to my labour and birth as it means so much to me to know I am in safe hands and has taken such stress away.
I have been smiling all day and for once cannot wait to see the health professionals again!
In all this madness my ex consultant did one thing in my favour, and transferred me to this new hospital! Although he said they would say the same I am glad I met with them and that they didn't, they seemed to know lots about SPD too!!! So i didnt have to even show them the SPD acwph documents!!!!
*siiiiigggghhh* of relief!
On the way out, this is one thing that I will remember forever, the midwife came up to me asked me how I felt and I was so excited to tell her that I am so happy and I cannot wait to walk again and that I may be induced next week, what a relief and tears were filling my eyes as she gave me a second cuddle and kiss in the forehead, I have never felt so warm, safe and happy and believed in my life. That feeling I will carry with me forever, its feelings like that you miss especially when you have never felt like that for around 37 weeks during your pregnancy and its surprising that all it took was for someone to listen, let me sob a little, believe and advise positively in regards to my care.
Today is a turning point and a day I will never forget as long as I live.
I may sound insane at how much today means to me but I mean it genuinely from the bottom of my heart, after a long hard struggle it is fantastic to have a day like today actually happen, it really is!
Cannot wait to meet you baby... think things will turn out for the best now!! <3