Disability and Employment:

 I didn't get the job.

Had a little bit of feedback but not really much to go on so I'm gonna watch some webinars that the lady suggested and I've been told I need to provide more details but I can provide the details that exist. So I'm a little confused and definitely disheartened but I did my best and was over prepared and I'd even been asked back as a Team Leader before for call center work so I know for definite I can handle it and I can do it well and the call regarding feedback is proof in itself that I am someone wanting to better myself and can take on feedback and criticism.

I just wish I'd had more feedback to go off of so I can pinpoint where I supposedly didn't do good. 

All interviews that I've done like this one prior to the disability I've gotten so it's so confusing and heartbreaking when you realise that unfortunately disability does come into it.

I even said I'd take the job without the healthcare cause I can't understand why I didn't get it. I've ran a business so I know the realities of the business world and I understand the healthcare could be a disadvantage for someone with disabilities like myself and the costs that could incur could put potential employers off.

I mean I can interview again but I don't understand what I could do differently because unless it was a communication issue, I don't understand. I addressed all points and have several examples of everything but the feedback question. I'd be more than happy to go into detail with any of those.

The lady during the feedback call said she was concerned about me getting to work etc but I resolved that already with the access to work and that's why I was taking the 20hrs because that's sensible and manageable, which once mentioned she agreed and even said that she's aware of access to work so I just feel ... lost...as to what went wrong.

I thought she was in a rush to get me off the phone so I was trying to pin point things with the feedback and work through it so I could do better but unfortunately I still am at a loss as to where I went wrong because I had my folder with me with all qualifications and all jobs I've done since 2006. 

She didn't take kindly to that and I felt like she handled that a bit more aggressively than necessary but by the end of the call she was back to her kinder self and realised that I was merely just concerned that she may have been in a rush and wanted me off the phone and didn't want to be a burden.

The feedback I managed to get was that apparently I didn't go into enough detail when speaking about the constructive criticism question, but I didn't really get any in employment because I was always over prepared and made sure everything was sorted to do the job efficiently to the point I'd always be given additional duties as I did so well.

The example I gave in the interview was in regards to the play, one of the rehearsals and I explained that the lady guiding us had stopped us to direct me to be more stern and strict with the character Ruby, I listened to everything the lady said and I took the feedback on board and applied myself and she was pleased with the results and I'm almost off script now and got wonderful feedback this week.

I don't understand why that's not enough detail and how that shows I don't want to better myself or meet the criteria necessary.

I don't react badly to criticism or feedback and I believe that everything can be worked through I just hate being misunderstood and taken the wrong way and I don't like it when I can't get to the bottom of something or get the detailed information I need to make sure I don't make the same mistakes in interviews.

I don't understand what more details would be required in that scenario as even the call shows that I don't react badly to criticism and I genuinely believe we all learn from everything, and despite being upset and emotional as I'm a human being with feelings who just wanted detailed feedback, I still stayed on the phone and listened and faced everything as well as apologised for being upset.

I only got upset because of the way I felt the call was being handled.

The lady wants me to re-apply in three months but I'm considering just going down the road of sole tradership because I don't feel the employment circuit can successfully identify my skillset and see what I'm capable of. 

I know how costly it is to be disabled in every day life nevermind a workplace but mostly I expected better from this company and it's always disheartening when reality hits and you're still overlooked.

I even said on the phone I disagree and think that they're overlooking someone who would be an asset to their company and team. I can't make others see my capabilities or worth even though I know them and at the end of the day I respect that but it's still their loss.

I'd need a company willing to give me the opportunity to show them my capabilities and unless they're willing to do that then there doesn't seem much point to be honest.

I got some impressive feedback during the interview and was even told I was one of the few that had researched the company and products well and memorised prices and that I was also one of the few that went off my own notes during the roleplay situation.

Most of the feedback even on the phone was positive and impressive so I really can't wrap my head around the fact I didn't get the job and still don't have any specific details as to where I went wrong.

I just wish I'd had more detailed feedback and I wish it wasn't such a challenge to try and get the feedback cause I felt like it was unnecessary to speak to me in a certain way and have me in tears all because I'm passionate and care and put my heart and soul into things I do and I merely wanted to know where I went wrong and the lady could not really say.

It's frustrating but it's reality, and I think the best power move for me would be to stop wasting my time on employers that claim to be disabled friendly and yet overlook those who are more than capable of doing the job, and be my own boss.

I think I need to focus on getting my more creative writing projects and books out there as an author and focus on my art and stickers and Etsy shop.

People always let me down, so sometimes you just need to grab life with both hands and prove them wrong and become someone individually.

I'm more than capable of that so I don't see why I'd want to waste anymore precious time trying to get companies to value me when they just overlook me.

It's life and it's disheartening but I am a self-driven individual and I don't need others to see that to know it's true and I'm not a narcissist just because I understand my skills set and I'm not afraid of saying it how it is.

People can think that all they want, I know I'm an altruist and I know i put my heart and soul into everything that I do and I know for definite that it's their loss.

One hundred percent.

My haters can celebrate today at least and I'm going to celebrate the fact that I know my worth even when others don't see it and I always have back up plans and I'm beyond thorough and meticulous and despite the heartache and lack of details provided today I'm going to watch these webinars and continue to better myself.

Only this time I'm going to do it for me and to prove to myself I am correct and I do have skills and it's not my fault when others overlook them.

S. xx

Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷

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