I don't belong:

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I feel so alone, unwanted, hated, attacked, I'm not allowed to explain things or express things and I feel like the whole world is pushing me out, like I definitely don't belong here.

I don't fit in anywhere and it's exhausting.

I try and explain things but people don't care about anything other than trying to rip others to shreds or be nasty.

Then they laugh at me cause I genuinely believe there can be safe spaces in the world because there isn't by choice, people choose to hate, choose to attack, and it's not right, and they hate me because I won't accept that but how does that make me a narcissist?!

A gentleman called Luke on TikTok called me one today and a disabled woman invalidated my struggles because she doesn't have the capacity or depth to understand how dynamic disabilities fluctuate.

I guess its easier to rip the piss out of someone and be a horrible person than it is to acknowledge your own behaviors and how you're part of the problem.

Days like these I do feel like giving up.

I don't feel I belong.

I feel like what is the point if I can't change anything, and I try hard to change things.

I just want to belong somewhere, anywhere, because being this different is just lonely and heartbreaking.

I need to take better care of myself on bad mental health days and have to stop trying to get people to understand how they make the world worse cause facts are they don't care.

I'm going to sleep and create a nice dream environment (I can do this) where I have lots of friends and everything is calm and positive and people are helpful and kind...

...the older I get the less and less I want to exist with how the world is... I go on for my son and it hurts me to know he's going to feel the same and there is nothing I can do about it.

S.

KawaiiDollDecora 🩷✨




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