Fumbling broken pieces of yourself:

-

I watched a video today where a mother really struggled to accept or trust or believe in the help offered.

The boy and her story is so heartbreaking...

All I could think of in that moment is, how my heart was in my mouth and how I hoped so badly she'd take it but remembering how often I don't...I couldn't take it either 😭 I'd struggle too... Isn't it odd that those of us who fight so hard to support others and do our best, can't actually accept help because whenever we have tried to accept help in the past it's gone really traumatically badly... 🥺❤️❤️❤️ I can give, I can help, I can support and as a disabled artist I'm an advocate for disabilities, differences and mental health awareness, but if I didn't earn something, it's extremely difficult to accept, even if we wanted to, we'd feel guilty or like we're bad people, so we don't. 

This is because that's how life has moulded us... My heart honestly goes out to every other individual who feels this way! 

We do our best with very little in return but we endure because we value the things that most overlook, actual connection, real support, authenticity, hope, and we constantly challenge ourselves and strive to do better.

I'm happy with a cheap coffee, a book, under a tree or in a window on cosy nights and extremely happy whenever I get to watch trees or nature.

I was bedbound for 8 years approximately and it was absolutely soul - destroying but I picked myself up and I'm still fumbling with the pieces.

I'll get there, and so will you.

I believe in you.

You got this.

S. xoxo


Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨


Popular posts from this blog

I'm done with Bishop Auckland college:

-
Image
I got a very unprofessional email (linkedin message) today after promoting the college and resharing several courses I shared this: A colleague had been informed that due to numbers the policing course can't go ahead. (My formal complaint via email is at the bottom of this blog post) So I simply shared a list of their nutritional courses (also helpful) and added if anyone was interested in the level three policing course to enroll asap (based on the information provided we didn't want to lose the course) I received this: I still haven't heard anything official from the college yet and I'm not happy with being told I'm not allowed to share courses to enrol. But to be honest the accusations of misinformation irk me to my core especially without any official correction or context. So I've blocked Adam on LinkedIn and I'm done with Bishop Auckland College now. I am removing myself SO FAST from everyone and everywhere that chooses disrespect over thoughtfulness. ...
Read more

Ramside Hall and Northern Housing Consortium:

-
Image
I am excited to say that the event at Ramside Hall went spectacularly well, I attended with my best friend Corin and we had such a lovely time. I gave a wonderful speech as to how Northern Housing Consortium has helped me spectacularly with a bursary for my start up business www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk and I happily share the quoted speech I gave below:  " As a start-up business, I initially struggled to  meet the demands of contractual work. Creating art by finger painting on my phone screen was time-consuming, imprecise, and physically challenging. This made it difficult to meet my clients' expectations for detail and speed. Living with chronic pain and disabilities only added to these difficulties. When I learned through Livin Futures that Northern Housing Consortium was offering a start-up bursary, I immediately applied for a drawing tablet, hoping it could change the way I work. Receiving the bursary has been truly transformative. With my new drawing tablet, I can now ...
Read more

NEWTON PRESS review : Blacklisting:

-
Image
Newton Press  Newton Aycliffe Review By Sarah “Lovehearts” Local Guide·10 reviews·11 photos ⭐ One star: UPDATE: BECAUSE I WON'T TOLERATE NASTY SARCASM AND ABUSE I'M NOW BLACKLISTED FROM AYCLIFFE RADIO AND AROUND TOWN RADIO WITH PHILLIP HAWKINS AND ANDREW HILL. Cheers 😔 see: https://pgpandspd.blogspot.com/2024/06/hacked-stickers-betrayal-and-pride.html I got off the phone to Paul Howarth yesterday, whilst I'm with my son in public in a cafe, the ADM meet didn't go ahead, but we stayed anyway and my son encouraged me to merely enquire about the article and why my image was not printed, Paul stated it was a space issue but I explained he'd spliced images before and how much would it cost to get the photo in the paper so I can feel positively represented by my home town as a Newtonian since his only reason was the article was FREE, anyway he got rude and abruptly stated he does a LOT for ADM and it's ALL FREE and that he feels I'm being REALLY UNFAIR and hung u...
Read more