Showing posts from November, 2023

People never see the sacrifices, just judge on things they don't know:

 I woke up shaky and in agony and with a cold, feeling achy and heavy but other than that I'm good. 😊 I'm not gonna let me being ill ruin my mood!  Meditation music and take it easy day! Sending love to everyone at All Disabilities Matter as I can't make the carvery with you all today. Sending so much love to you all and hope you have a fantastic meal together! ❤️ I have a mental health appointment today and my whole body is screaming at me for doing too much so I'm going to have to rest. Sometimes I forget how bad my flare ups can get in winter, but I'm thankful for the pain management I have now, so I'll get legally high to endure it and make it through! To be honest, the cannabis has helped me with my anxiety too, more than sertraline, but I still take it, it's just nice that it can help with that as well as my bad pain condition, because I didn't even realise it could! I'm liking the clinic I'm with and it's worth every penny because it

"Protected by good deeds":

"Protected by good deeds" They'd rather pretend they didn't do it and hide behind good deeds. Never apologise as long as they're worshipped, that's all they need. Special little moths that are attracted to their flame, Never actually knowing it's THEM that are to blame, No accountability just threats and secrecy, False martyrdom to fool society,  Claiming they help with the struggles with economy, Yet they're free to bully, hate and scapegoat anyone who thinks freely. We say NO to your attitude and NO to your abuse. Being in a good professional career is never an excuse, Others may lap up the help and excuse how you treat people they don't know, But just like you, they don't care, they only help to put on a show. Reputations built on a false foundation. Attacking those vulnerable, without cause or provocation. Don't speak out though! 'How dare you speak badly of them! They help so many people! So we won't let you complain! We'd

Aglow/Bishop Aucklands Christmas Town ⛄:

Bishop Auckland Christmas Town: Disability perspective: Accessibility for the disabled was not managed properly. I had to wait in cold weather which is painful for chronic disabilities and pain conditions when you should have a pass system for the vulnerable or disabled. The gentleman joked the queue didn't take long but it was agony for me and seemed to take forever so I didn't even acknowledge him because I don't expect others to understand. It's just a wait for them, for us it's torture, every second is agony. I also could not get tickets at the SAME place for the Ferris wheel or anything so I'd need to queue at a different ticket booth or pay on the Ferris wheel doors, however the queues are unreasonable for those with disabilities and lack of seating available. There should be a second queue that lets vulnerable people on a little bit at a time with others from the main queue, this would increase accessibility no end! When we booked at the desk no one state

CCTV issues, modern day:

Getting sick of seeing police in different areas of this country let abusers and nonces off Scott free cause they cba to retrieve the CCTV which is part of their bloody job! I've had two situations where they were negligent and let it be deleted/recorded over, and I've read so many posts where others have had the same. One minor, female, was SA'd on a bus and they just let the bus cctv go *poof*. Most police I've met have been bloody awful (just experience) but some I've met have been actually decent people, so why can't they simply just do their bloody jobs and protect people with the amount of CCTV around these days?! And they wonder why people start filming incidents, it's cause they don't do what they're supposed to and it's the ONLY way people these days can obtain justice or evidence!!  I'm actually glad I can't go for the csi job, want nowt to do with police, don't appreciate how they can't get simple CCTV

In the spirit of Thanksgiving:

 In the spirit of my overseas friends and thanksgiving I wanna give thanks: To those who accept and embrace me, quirks and eccentricities and all. To my parents and close relatives and friends, for caring about me and being there for me, the support is greatly appreciated. To my son whose growing into such a handsome little man, and sue me, but I'm so proud of him! He's amazing! I'm thankful for my warrior soul and determination, through suffering and sacrifices galore, I've made it here today and I'm walking with a stick now. I'm thankful for those who see me for who and how I am and although I'm not perfect, I'm honest, kind, loyal and caring and I'm always working on myself. I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had and going to college. I'm thankful for all my online friends and family and I love you all just as much as my irl friends and family, may you have positive vibes sent your way and have a fantastic thanksgiving! I'm gr

Time will heal...

 I don't think people realise how painful it is to watch people who seriously wronged you, didn't apologise, put you through absolute hell, act completely kind and nice to everyone else, but you, despite you being a stranger and despite having being a vulnerable woman who merely tried to seek help. I can't help it if my heart hurts. 😩 I can't help it if they're willing to treat others with the same kindness they should have shown me, and my heart is sad for those who aren't as lucky, and were treated poorly like me.  They'll go through the same thing. Reminded every time they see someone be helped, that they were refused, judged, attacked, instead. I can't help it if I am reminded of the abusive situation every time they pop up online. What I CAN do about this, is remember that I didn't deserve it and despite it feeling like a thousand needles in my chest everytime I wanna 🩷 like 🩷a post cause they're helping others, and show my support, they

I wish I was stronger ...

If you have a chronic pain disability like me, you may find yourself in your head more often, especially when you are trying to handle your pain in public, like college, transportation, buses, and outdoors. You are more aware of others around you because you're self-conscious of your pain, when in actuality most of the time others won't have even noticed. I mask well most of the time but get wriggly and need to stretch and massage legs and things when I'm worse. I sit there and I think to myself " Why aren't I stronger , why can't I manage this better?" I don't want to have to p a c e myself. I don't want to have to have rest days but the problem is it's necessary . I can't change it and thinking negatively about it doesn't really help. At the moment I'm working on forgiving myself and being kind to myself for the way that I handle my pain because sometimes I am ok and other times I am simply just not coping or I'm drained or ti

The disabled are LAZY, FREELOADERS, BURDENS...blah blah blah: READ THIS IF YOU DARE!

  An insight to chronic pain: For those who think we're ' FINE ', we're ' LAZY ', we're ' BURDENS ', we're ' FAKING ', we're ' FREELOADERS ', we're ' ATTENTION SEEKERS ', and not ' WORTHY ' of HELP ! 🤘🏼 READ THIS IF YOU DARE! 🤘🏼 "I've had Doctors and medical professionals make out I'm a burden and a wimp and I've been physically assaulted in hospital, left on floors, kicked, hit with doors and even my family members have been witnesses to it! It's vile! When I was in hospital once, to get a needle into my knee which was swollen, to check for fluid, and they had to put the needle right into the bone, I couldn't use lidocaine anesthetic because it doesn't work on me so they didn't have any other anesthetic so they just went ahead and did it without. The nurse was absolutely gobsmacked at the fact that I wasn't screaming and in tears and instead was just wincing because

Disability Advocating:

 My new book came! Should come in handy alongside my Criminology Degree I'm working towards, and should help me help advocate for others way better! ❤️✨❤️✨❤️ S. x Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ #disabilitysupport #disabilitycommunity #disabilityinclusion #disabilityadvocate #Community #awareness #law #disabilityrights #DisabilityRightsAreHumanRights 

Getting ready for Christmas 🎄

 Well at least his Birthday present is wrapped and now his Christmas presents are wrapped. It's really not much at all but I hope my son will like what I've got for him. ❤️✨ I'm very achy in this cold so I sucked at wrapping but it's ok cause he's ripping the paper off anyways. 😅 One less thing to worry about now, and another to do list goal crossed off the list! Just need to figure out what to get my parents now... But first, bills lol. 😅 Sending love, hope you're all doing ok and getting ready for Christmas! 🎄 Next step is finish my canvases and then clear my living room ready for my Hello Kitty Christmas Tree going up! ❤️🎄❤️🎄❤️ S. x Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ #blog #blogger #blogpost #Christmas #kawaiidolldecora #disabilityawareness #disabled #mother #santaclaus 

~little wins~

 ❤️ I managed to get a poppy afterall ❤️ So pleased I managed to venture out of the house today! The cold is really bad but nature is so beautiful! I got my nails done in an autumnal style so I can get lost in pretty autumn colours even when stuck in the house. 🍂 I have a lot on this week and it's going to be a case of pacing myself correctly, so it's going to be a challenge, but one things for sure, I'm going to do my best to make sure I get through!! ✨ My mighty medic has come in exceptionally helpful and I honestly don't know how I'd survive without it! I'm so lucky the universe is starting to sway in my favour and I'm not struggling through life as much as I was, mind you I have an'alf sacrificed and clawed and scrambled to get to this point, and I'm still behind in 'life'. Lol. 🫶 ~little wins~  🤗 S. xo Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ #disabledblogger #blog #disabilityadvocate #disabilityawareness #support #poppy #poppyappeal #lestweneverforget

Life forever moves forward:

 14 years ago, I never dreamed I'd be walking again, albeit with a stick! Life throws some hardships at us all, but it's what we do after we fall, what we do after we hit rock bottom, we claw and we climb and we drag ourselves out of the pits life throws us in. I'm grateful and thankful for the opportunity to walk with my stick these days and for the private clinic that allows this to happen by providing me much needed pain management medication to be able to walk on a dislocated pelvis. Thank you! Everyday is still a battle with my body and I have a cold at the moment so I have no choice but to rest, but I'm still thankful and grateful for all of the wonderful memories I've been able to make with friends, family and my son since fighting my way out of the darkness! I don't expect anything from anyone, I don't want pity, I don't want external validation or judgement, I just simply share my story so others going through similar things can know they're

Don't punish people because you can't understand!

  TW: disability, abuse, suicide, struggles:              --------- blog/awareness, post ------ "I'm disabled but cause ya can't see my disability with the naked eye I get people trying to punish me for being disabled cause they think I'm lying and therefore deserve punishment. It's like duuuude my disability punishes me enough yanno! I go through sh*t every day and if I can choose not to bully others and build people up then wtaf is your excuse yanno?"                      ------ ----- ------ How many of us have been put in this position? How many of us at times of need and struggle have been abandoned by those we trusted to seek help from? It's no-bodies job to tell other people who and how they are if they're not willing to find the facts. It's no-bodies job to make such assumptions to give themselves permission to hate. Then when people have enough and their loved ones lose them to suicide, the same hateful people claim it was

A poem I wrote for Homeless Awareness:

#poetrycommunity  # poetry # homelessawareness  (A poem I wrote to wake people up to how they play a part in being the problem). -S. xx @KawaiiDollDecora♡ -----                                 ------                                 ----- 'Let the homeless choke': A woman walks with a friend, 'another one', she says in disgust, A heart made of tin, covered in rust, 'Isn't it just', said another in reply to the first, 'I'm sure they make themselves homeless on purpose.' They scoff, roll their eyes and disappear in the distance, hot drinks in hand and wrapped up warm and weather resistant. The one stuck on the pavement, in the cold wet rain, Can't help them if they can't relate to, or see their pain. They no longer want to live, in this world so cold and cruel, while people will take in an animal but look at a human so fuelled, with anger and rage and no basic human decency, what has happened to a system that's supposed to help and pre

I'm still suffering cause of J7s lies and I'm done being silenced:

I can't win no matter what I do. I ignore, it's not good enough. I avoid it's not good enough. I've just been exhausted ignoring and dealing with haters, lies, bullies and abuse, for soooo long.  This BS narrative people gullibly swallow as if it's the truth lol.  Defamation of character has real world consequences and I've been dealing with it unfairly far too long, if people want me to stop talking about J7 then they need to stop bringing J7's lies to my social media accounts! They think things that aren't even true and I can't change that. What have I not got my own way with? It's the same fake lies that would easily be quashed if people could be bothered to take the time and look into it! But they prefer to allow abuse and hate because they were the lucky ones that got actually helped instead of abuse! I'm better today, I'm done apologising for defending myself and you can't get through to brainwashed tyrants, no matter what. As

Avoiding a place isn't hate:

Public Notice since some (townsfolk) simply can't understand:  (I'm getting fed up of repeating myself now and just want to be left alone by people who simply just seek to hate and misunderstand:) ⚠️ Avoiding a place isn't hate. ⚠️ Protecting yourself isn't hate. ⚠️ It's being neutral. It's not my fault if you can't stand someone saying they're avoiding a place!  They're allowed to enquire about things and make their own decisions! (Again enquiring isn't hate.) ⚠️ Self-protection isn't hate. I can help people *and* avoid the place lmao!  Anyone who thinks differently I can't change and simply don't want to be near. 🫶 Learn to accept neutrality instead of looking to start conflicts that aren't even there and if you are willing to lie to yourself because you simply don't have an excuse to hate me yet, then that sounds like a YOU issue. *Meet mirror* 🪞 Start checking yourself instead of making conflict out of thin air and getti

~I do what's right not what's easy to do to be liked!~

 ~I do what's right not what's easy to do to be liked!~ I don't need to prove anything to anyone but myself and I'm someone I am proud of. I don't need validation or you to be proud of me. I know who I am and how I am and so do those that actually bother to get to know me. Don't like me? Do one! Don't hang around pretending to care only for the truth of how cold your soul is to come to light. I'm not the words you throw at me, I'm my actions, and if you refuse to see the truth then why even bother coming to me with your hate? You expect me to be your verbal punching bag and get mad when I explain myself and explain that you're incorrect. You lash out and don't want to understand, you find a narrative that fits your already made up mind about me and then try to punish me for this fictional character you've created and you hope I am because if I'm not, that means you are wrong. Which you are. It means that you'd have to face yoursel