Time will heal...
I don't think people realise how painful it is to watch people who seriously wronged you, didn't apologise, put you through absolute hell, act completely kind and nice to everyone else, but you, despite you being a stranger and despite having being a vulnerable woman who merely tried to seek help.
I can't help it if my heart hurts. 😩
I can't help it if they're willing to treat others with the same kindness they should have shown me, and my heart is sad for those who aren't as lucky, and were treated poorly like me.
They'll go through the same thing. Reminded every time they see someone be helped, that they were refused, judged, attacked, instead.
I can't help it if I am reminded of the abusive situation every time they pop up online.
What I CAN do about this, is remember that I didn't deserve it and despite it feeling like a thousand needles in my chest everytime I wanna 🩷 like 🩷a post cause they're helping others, and show my support, they made it so I can't.✨They made it so I can't ever go near them or be helped, ever, and I simply don't react even in support, because of how I was personally treated and then treated badly afterwards, again and again, because once wasn't enough; so what I CAN do is to allow myself the space to heal and get over their actions, one day they'll pop up and they'll be nothing to me. 💯 No reaction. 🫶🏼
Even though I know it had nothing whatsoever to do with me, and I can't make other people care, or be kind, it still hurts when you're someone who feels deeply, and the people that chose harm and abuse, refuse to hold themselves accountable, and still flaunt how they help others so freely, but will turn so quickly against anyone who has their own mind and opinions.
I hope no one has to ever feel like this... Ever. 💯
But I'd rather it hurt than EVER be numb!! ❤️🔥
I didn't deserve it, no, and I'm still processing it and at least I'm a deep feeler because that's what keeps me kind and compassionate and understanding!
If bad behaviours didn't leave me feeling so disgusted then I wouldn't be as kind as I am and kudos to me for that. Atleast I DO feel and care. Period.
I can stand proud of ALL that I am and ALL that I will be, knowing the absolute truth and hopefully healing from the reminders soon. 🥺🫶🏼✨
My love also goes out to any individual who has to ever feel like this, or who others have wrongly caused to feel like this.
You didn't deserve it either.
Time is a great healer and you make a positive difference in the world and that's all that matters.
F*** anyone who thinks behaving like that is ok, just cause they help others, it's disgusting and it's wrong and it could have easily been resolved with an apology, or some accountability.
But they made it perfectly clear they don't give a F about who they hurt and they for sure won't ever apologise because threats are so much easier, this isn't the first time I've had to deal with people who didn't have a clue about me and who thought I'd tolerate abuse because I needed help from them, I've been here * many times * before, which is why it will always sting as it adds to all I've * already endured * and barely survived, and it's fractured my mental health progress so I have to start again with that.
Lesson learned. Do research before trusting people, even organisations, because there's not as many good people as you think anymore. 🫶🏼
I don't expect people to understand.
I don't even expect people to care.
But aslong as I am alive I will blog, and I will rant, and I will share, my experiences, exactly how they happened.
Atleast I can correct myself and acknowledge when I'm wrong, because I guess that's becoming rarer and rarer these days.
I'm still dealing with the aftermath of things that happened TO me, and I'll get through it all because that's exactly what I do, and I'm proud that bad behaviours make me feel disgusted and hurts my heart, cause I'd never do that to others.
That's what matters.
Never stoop to their level, but you're allowed to heal at your own pace! 🩷✨
#blogpost
S. xo
Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨
#past #trauma #saltinwounds #harm #noclosure #getoverit #noonecares #mentalhealthmatters #Dis
ability #struggle #disabilityadvocate #disabledblogger
