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Showing posts from April, 2024

It's a slap in the face for the disabled...

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  ...when councils share and promote diversity and disability inclusion and awards when they themselves are abandoning and discriminating against disabled people. These deserve the award and have done amazingly but the way the council shares this news seems like they want to 'appear' like they care and support disabled people when in reality they don't. I responded: So why have they forgotten about the neurospicy and disabled individuals using the do it online form for Durham County Council? There needs to be a check box for the council to call people back if they're on the assistance list.  It's not hard to attach a check box that would automatically add a call back to the most vulnerable customers of bulky waste. I'm currently being discriminated against and can't do anything about it, if I get a fine I'm going to the news about the council taking my money and abandoning me with bulky waste cause I'm mobility impaired and can't move it a few in

How do you deal with low energy days?

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 Today I shared this on Facebook: " So I'm struggling with energy to keep up with modern day life with my disabilities and chronic pain, I've been relying on coffee and red bulls but I'm type 2 diabetic and I'm wondering if people have found something a little better for getting energy. If you're like me you need three times the amount of sleep as an average person to be able to do half of what they can, and this isn't always possible due to pain and things so what has anyone found that worked for them? I'm hoping to be able to cover this topic in my disability awareness book (go to www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk book projects) so if you have found useful tips or tricks or out of the box ways to manage your energy levels, pain or conditions please share this with us all here? It would be so appreciated, and if you'd like to share this post so we can reach even mor different people and different disabilities that would be awesome! You never know, we m

My best creation:

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 This one hundred percent this! I've been there... A disabled mother, my baby strapped to me in my electric wheelchair... And the system... My son will forever be the best creation I've ever brought to life and he is more than a miracle, a boy who beat cancer and had to deal with far too much at such a young age. I'm so proud of you Bam. I did what I had to do to protect you and I will forever and always be grateful that I got to be your mother! I love you son. ...to the moon and back... ..and to a star and back... Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨

Durham County Council: update:

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The escalation of the bulky waste issues didn't change anything so next step is the ombudsman. I went to the Ombudsman today and explained the following: The organisation has contradictory information on their do it online website as it states 'where your bins are emptied' (which is in gardens for the assisted list)  I paid as advised by housing association Livin for bulky waste to be removed from my garden as a mobility impaired individual.  They have no assistance policies or procedures for the disabled for bulky waste at this time and won't refund me even though they clearly are discriminating against me by expecting me to be able to move the items which my disability prevents.  Not only will they NOT refund but they won't book another collection, their system is failing the most vulnerable as they don't cross reference addresses or follow up with phone calls. I can't afford to pay again and I will end up with a fine and things because they fail to suppor

*Powerful*

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  This is not my letter, so credit goes to the original owner but this is exactly what I've been advocating for, for years. Mandatory education on disability awareness and inclusion! Heck, I'd even go to schools to educate on invisible illnesses and how so many disabilities are different for each person. How it's a normal part of life and that different is nothing to be scared of, there are people who deserve support and compassion, period. Anyways, I shared this very powerful letter from a very intelligent child on social media and hopefully more and more people can advocate until we see the change happen and schools be more inclusive. I gained the title associate producer recently, for the film Dagger's Inn that a friend is cast in. It's ever so important to support creatives and make positive change happen in the world. By supporting fellow creatives you're supporting their dreams and there's nothing better than that. Still it's nice to add a new term

Moving forward:

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Having been looking after my fur baby Bud and working towards a sole tradership I've been extremely busy. I've handmade more jewelry for my Depop and Etsy stores and started an accounting book. I'm always honest in my blog and I don't know how to word this so I'll just say it, I've felt like a failure. πŸ˜” I'm still not over the fact I can't do what I used to do especially more so when people don't understand and are telling you that you need to do more etc, and yet I still don't quit. I've come too far.  Bud is healing beautifully and the little weirdo adorable doggy actually likes having the cone on him now. He doesn't make sense ahaha. He's the best though.  He never judges me and is happy to cuddle me and he gets excited to see me and he's my responsibility, he's amazing. He has to keep the cone on for the week to keep his wound dry and healing and it's doing much better now. Some friends have helped me a little with th

Buds Blog:

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 Bud here again, Mama took me to the vets again and because I won't wear the cone they gave me a onesie. I wanted to go straight home and was very vocal to everyone about it. I'm just chilling with Mama now on the sofa and I think there was a very poorly doggy in as an emergency. Sending love to them and their family. Thank you for reading my doggy blog. Bud 🐾

It's Bud again with an update:

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 Hi Bud here! I went down for surgery yesterday, to meet the XL Bully law requirements, I was very anxious and scared and my momma couldn't stay with me. It was very scary. I came round and refused to eat anything because I was wondering where my momma was. She came back and I just wanted to leave so didn't even hug her lol, I don't like the vets. I was groggy and weary for a while but I made sure I got plenty of hugs off momma, she won't let me lick the wound from the neutering but she's given me the pain killer I need today and for the next two days and I'm back to the vets for a check up soon too. I'm back to my playful self and I can't wait to recover properly, I think my doggy momma was so scared yesterday but she's ok now. I calmed her down. Just been gentle playing with my rope toy as my mam changes bedding and I'm just going to take it easy. Oh no, she's back, best go back to doing doggy stuff. Thanks for reading! Bud 🐾

Business head ON:

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 I'm taking the necessary steps to make this business work. Please feel free to support me whilst I do this via shares and likes and helping me to network. Yes I will do the same for you as I believe that working together helps people to become more successful! I am currently setting up ad campaigns and getting an accounting book. I will be opening a business bank account and registering as a sole trader after that. I need to get liability insurance for any markets or stalls I may like to attend. Then it's paying class 2 contributions. I've emailed South Durham Business Enterprise as they never got back in touch with me so hopefully they can assist, if not then I'll do it all myself. 😊 I'm capable and my disability can't take away any skills I have thankfully. 🫢🏼🫢🏼🫢🏼. IMPORTANT NOTICE: 🫢🏼🫢🏼🫢🏼 As a disabled artist and business, you will wonder why you should choose me over other leading competitors. This is why: ✨ I use my voice to support my communi

The system definitely needs to change:

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Why I do what I do and I fight so hard even through other people's misguided hate: I have CPTSD (diagnosed PTSD), Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility Syndrome, POTS, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (dislocated pelvis of 10.9mm), type 2 diabetes etc... I was in a wheelchair a long time, but I walk with a stick now. It's still not enough, I'm still abandoned by the council and still waiting for them to get back to me. I choose to walk on the dislocated pelvis despite the pain and I'm prescribed cannabis which is expensive to be able to mobilise. Drs and hospitals let me down majorly and yet I still fight onwards and help lots of other people in the process. Something that is mental health in nature can be equally as disabling as a physical disability but unless our system improves to provide the right support for people, we will struggle and other people will continue to hate on us, accuse us of faking, tell us we 'seemed ok' when we smile through the pain, and think they can

Acceptance: 🩷🩷🩷

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 I accept that this was me. I accept that this body was hard to maintain. I accept that I fasted a lot to keep this body. I accept that I drank water and didn't eat as much. I accept that I will never look like this again. And yet.. I embrace my squish. I am a bigger lady now. It's a part of me and disability is partly why. Exercise is done as and when I can due to mobility issues. But.. I EMBRACE all of me. I embrace my Winnie the Pooh tummy. I embrace my squishy thighs. I embrace my body as it has birthed. I embrace my body as it has endured. I embrace who I am now and who I will be. To new chapters where I don't calorie count or worry about what others think of my visual aspects. I am not made to be visually or aesthetically pleasing, plus it gets ya hated, I never had any positives from looking like this other than modelling. Dudes wouldn't date. Women would insult. I'd get called fat way more often than I do now. So pros/cons. Be YOU. #lessonslearned Kawaii Dol

A little throwback:

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 A throwback to better days... 2008/2009...  When I was rebuilding my life from scratch a second time...before the earth crumbled and my son got diagnosed with the big C... Days where I felt I could be successful and was turning down really good opportunities because of my difficult pregnancy, some of us work our arses off and get nowhere, others make money so easily and barely do anything... I don't understand this world and I doubt I ever will... but a supportive network is always the key. If you can't be supported by people you equally support then that's a clear message sent to you that you're supporting the wrong people. Support yourself, let those who like your work speak up for you, advocate for yourself, don't lose your voice. Somewhere along the way I lost mine. But it's back now and I'm always using it for good. S. Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ #justdontquit Funny story behind this:  It was taken before midday on April 1st and because I don't underst

Surreal art: Stock Images:

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 Hi I'm Sarah and I'm behind Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ Just wanted to share this surreal cannabis positive piece because it was inspired by my newly found freedom due to being prescribed it for my disabilities. What's bad for one person could literally save the life of another, so whilst advocating for yourself please be mindful of how others survive too. Sarah xo 🀘🏼 #chronicpainwarriors #kindnessmatters Image: This image was created using Wirestock and my profile on there is KawaiiDollDecora too. I hope everyone who struggles through disability, differences or mental health, have an easier and more positive day today, I wish that for you all. Sending love and healing energies. Always. 🩷✨

Just keep going and don't quit:

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Just keep going and don't quit. That is all.

Keeping busy and trying to focus on my business:

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⚠️TW: Sexual harassment at work:⚠️ After the fight with the council over my garden bulky waste, I went back into a deep depression and even my housing officer noticed. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle to get people to care about the disabled, especially when it's professionals and organisations we rely on. Durham county council's email had me horrified and I escalated it and will be taking it further. Even if they reword their website so they're not robbing the disabled, it would be an improvement! They should rebook at no cost or at least call people to ensure and check, or cross reference addresses with the assist list. But that would mean actually doing work and I worked for the council before actually, and it was pathetic who they hired and how they almost lost the council their recycling/bins contract and yet you get the blame, even though you were only a temp and you did the work of three people as one lady designed t-shirts and the other planned her weddi

I feel robbed and abandoned:

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The council are keeping my money because allegedly they can't assist in gardens that are for disabled on the assistance list. Yet they do. Make it make sense. Anything to keep our money. My bin is normally collected FROM MY GARDEN because that's what the ASSISTANCE list is FOR. MY gawd. Gawd help us in this county!! Durham County Council  I am shocked at the outrageousness of my one day old complaint reply, doubt they've done much research. They definitely don't even know what the assistance list is or that its consent to help empty and collect rubbish from inside a garden due to disability. This is outright discrimination now. #shouldnotbesurprised  Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨ Disability Advocate / blogger Images are screenshots of the email correspondence and I can't help but keep feeling like us disabled clearly don't matter to the people we're trusting for support, and we're not getting any. At all.

I don't belong:

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I feel so alone, unwanted, hated, attacked, I'm not allowed to explain things or express things and I feel like the whole world is pushing me out, like I definitely don't belong here. I don't fit in anywhere and it's exhausting. I try and explain things but people don't care about anything other than trying to rip others to shreds or be nasty. Then they laugh at me cause I genuinely believe there can be safe spaces in the world because there isn't by choice, people choose to hate, choose to attack, and it's not right, and they hate me because I won't accept that but how does that make me a narcissist?! A gentleman called Luke on TikTok called me one today and a disabled woman invalidated my struggles because she doesn't have the capacity or depth to understand how dynamic disabilities fluctuate. I guess its easier to rip the piss out of someone and be a horrible person than it is to acknowledge your own behaviors and how you're part of the proble

Remind me not to people πŸ€£πŸ€“✨

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Remind me not to people : πŸ€£πŸ€“✨ Just had a conversation online on TikTok went live with a few others voice only, and it just goes to show that even people with fibromyalgia can't understand dynamic disabilities because they still think in ableist terms. It easier to misunderstand someone and try and pick them apart to feel better than allow that person to explain. I explained that at times of great pain and bedbound etc I use AI sometimes to help with my art and I still make the art, and could have made the whole thing from scratch but it hurts and I'm allowed to merge art and AI art and to see how it benefits disabled people, why should I go through so much pain when I don't have to sometimes?! However, people are too keen on labeling you as contradictory because they have assumed ideas of you and they don't let you explain properly and then take the piss out of you lmao. I also said I respect they don't like that but I simply disagree because how I manage my condi

I'm so exhausted: everything is a fight:

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I booked a collection for the items in my garden as per request by a housing officer and because I'm disabled they can't be moved out of the garden and the council have this information on file and have done for many years. They claimed the items weren't present today and hence left them when they're only a few inches inside the fence and anyone other than mobility impaired like myself, can access and move them. I wasn't refunded and I was emailed from a DONOTREPLY mailbox which is disgusting in all honesty. No one knocked on the door or anything and I've been abandoned yet again. We disabled deserve the support the first time we ask for it considering we pay for the privilege and we're simply abandoned and no refund nothing, as if money is not hard to come by. The way they've split the prices aren't even £5 per item it's £5 for as many split items of one item they can get! This penalises the disabled because it's simply not good enough and m

Diabetic retinal-eye exam and progress:

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Well I'm up and getting ready for my eye exam and I've still got so much to do in regards to projects and everything, hopefully will start earning better once I network more or find a part time job to help soon. I spent 3.5 hours creating a new kawaii character, how I destress sometimes as life can be so hard, and I'm pleased with how she has turned out. I may make a series of such characters yet which would be perfect for cards or t-shirts etc. All in all still super busy, have so much to do and I have a mental health appointment tomorrow. My eyes are going to be needing drops so that's not going to be pleasant and I won't be able to see right for a while afterwards so I guess this is the universe telling me to take a break as I keep burning myself out. I work so hard and don't see much in return unfortunately, but that's how the system is these days. Off to try and get as much done before my eyes are down for a few hours lol.  KawaiiDollDecora 🩷 ✨ 

Hi...Bud here!...

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I decided to hijack my doggy mamma's blog ahaha, I can definitely say she has been hard on herself today, she's had several flare ups and I can't seem to help. I cuddled her and comforted her but this morning she ran out of my food and had to ask for some help, she's a trauma survivor so now she's feeling super guilty for borrowing a tenner for my food. I brought her two of my rope toys and that made her smile, I also protected her from another plastic bottle, I showed her how strong and brave I am and ran away with it, to keep her safe of course. 😏 I'm glad I'm a dog, life must be so complicated being a human because most of the people I see from the windows and walks are so sad or stressed. I like this doggy mamma though, I even give her both paws now and hold my head up so she can balance treats on my nose and then when she says wait I wait until she says I can have it. I never did this with any other doggy mamma's, this one is as weird as me and I l

Excited but nervous...

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  Image reads:  Transformation is painful and messy at first, hang in there because it's also rewarding and empowering. So, after being targeted by yet another lost soul seeking any excuse to hate on me online because I use AI images and wirestock for research for my art journey book etc, I have decided to embrace that sadists and narcissists will target me. It's simply just a fact of life and it's an experience and I can't change it. Some people you're able to talk to about it and get to the bottom of it, others not so much. My most recent was the latter, seeking any excuse to hate. After handling that, and being proud of myself for defending myself and not tolerating abuse as well as being a safe space for others, incase they were mentally unwell (as kind, sane people don't go around sabotaging others or dictating or hating on others) I had to have my very first charity call! And as the image shows my updated post, it went extremely well! No information or per

Neverending hate debate:

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Back to the big controversial debate: Anti AI'ers: • 🀍 • 🀍 • 🀍 • 🀍 • 🀍 • 🀍 • Some people just don't want to accept that AI art is a tool and the users are designers. They also refuse to acknowledge that artists also use AI and a lot of work goes into trying to create and generate an image and tweak it or amend it to make it what you need. They refuse to acknowledge the artists with pain conditions who could make the same art in a year that it takes to generate and modify and tweak in a month or a week depending on requirements. They seem to seek an excuse to hate and segregate and justify it based on the skewed stigma and biases that images are stolen whilst not understanding at all how AI actually works. It's sad but it's not our job to educate them. I simply replied to one that brought their hate of AI to my page with: "Thank you so much for taking the time to express your feelings on AI art however as a blogger, author and artist I am navigating this journ