Showing posts from 2009

One step forward, then pulled back by a noose around my neck...

..A noose that is unwanted and put there by so called professionals trying to help, who are just making things more complicated and causing more suffering if you ask me. (Don't worry was merely a metaphor.) I finally gained access to much needed services, i.e. Pain Management Clinic and Physio experienced in Manual Therapy, when we receive the initial assessment from Social Services, which *surprise, surprise* was based on some false information too! The ex consultant of mine and ex midwife accused me of 'exaggerating' my condition and stated that I sought access to Adult Services and additional help RE: my condition, without consulting them. Do these people NEVER write anything down? I asked, I begged, I screamed, I cried, I gave up and tried to help myself, as they refused me the help I need. So now I hope they are happy as Welfare have defined our young son as "a child whose vulnerability is such they are unlikely to reach or maintain a satisfactory level of health

So i contacted a company in charge of many PREGNANCY, MOTHER & CHILDREN magazines:

For confidentiality purposes and for respect of identity protection, personal info about myself and the lady who replied have been removed. They are irrelevant... (my emails are black text, hers are purple.) Things in brackets are where I have removed content, think you'll see these clearly: My last e-mail reply: -------------- "FYI, I am not a sales person, i am not selling anything, especially my disability, i have suffered for a long time and i don't want any other women to go through what i am going through and i certainly was not 'pitching' i understand that you deal with many people looking to make lots of money to line their pockets but i am proud to state i am not one of them. I have worked for my money, helped charites, worked for the NHS as a L.D. Nurse cadet, with all the fantastic disabled children and adults the world decide to shut out. I was trying to contact magazines that state they care about women and their pregnancies but i see now that maybe yo

Enough is enough!

Why do they make it such a stressful experience when you call G.P's? They don't take me seriously, do they really think I am crying for nothing and lazy as opposed to actually being housebound and in a serious amount of pain? I'm fed up of this treatment and I will no longer be putting up with it, I am struggling to cope with my pain without meds and I am sick of not being treat with respect or taken seriously by them, enough is enough! Even if it means I now have to write formal complaint after formal complaint and document everything , something seriously needs to be done; I am not prepared to be disabled for the rest of my life and I have the right to help and to not be made to suffer like this. I am crying as I need their help, so they should be helpful, instead of saying inappropriate opinionated remarks that there is no need for, are unjustifiable and unprovoked. Today I am proud to say that I finally cut myself off and stated that I do not have to justify my conditi

Todays the Day! Still have stairlift issues though....months on...

Finally our council tax issues are resolved, may have taken over a year but thankfully all is sorted now. I am in absolute agony today, the front and back of my pelvis are just excruciatingly painful today :( Got a support cushion from the internet to hopefully help me when I am sleeping, help with my position and if I ever get the chance to restart breast feeding it will be really useful then too. Keep phoning the Dr.'s as they keep prescribing me only 2 days worth of Morphine and I constantly run out, which is why I am in absolute agony today, it's really hard to have a prescription written at my Dr.'s and I am still waiting for a Dr to call me back so I can explain to them what I have explained over and over again to the receptionist already, how much pain I am in and how desperately needed the Morphine is, you'd think they would give you a bigger bottle wouldn't you? I am on the slow release tablets too but they are not doing much on their own, the Oramorph and

Forget it! I give up....

I hate that I am on 200mg of morphine a day and I am still in agony and my SPD was supposed to start to get better and mines just getting worse *sobs* I am sick to death of malicious people on the internet that are closed minded and judgemental when you try and help with a situation and suggest something that may be of use in a reply to a wanted post. If the suggestion is not of use then merely ignore it or state so! There is no need to judge me or make false allegations as you do not know me nor what I have to go through everyday! I am sick of having to justify myself to people and hope that this person is very proud of themselves! Especially when i sent an apology and checked the rules with the moderator by messaging them, this person slandered me and made false allegations to the moderator to bully me and have me removed without knowing anything about me and failing to accept i was actually genuinely trying to help. Unlike them the internet is my main point of communication and con

Fobbed off much?

Well I was sent to hospital yesterday morning early hours by an out of hours urgent care DR. I had a female problem and increased bleeding and large clots etc.... (not very nice to state in a blog really is it, but anyway that was the problem.) The lady Dr that examined me was adamant I should try to have the examination without the use of gas and air, and didn't have my notes, so obviously didn't take me seriously and I am still suffering now! Internally I am in agony and she has made my SPD worse. I was crying during and after and got some gas and air but when it started working she took the gas and air off me. She then kept saying assertively which i did not appreciate, (my name) look at me! Look at me! Over and over. It got to the point where she said (my name) your pulse is normal! I replied, it has been normal before when I have been in agony with pain that it has taken morphine to reduce, and she kept saying (my name) look at me! over and over again. I then said you are

Update: Physio, wheelchair, registering birth, pain, meds, health visitor etc

Well right now I am on lot's of morphine. 2x 10mg of morphine slow release morphgesic tablets in AM and again in PM can be increased to 3 AM and 3 PM if needed and 4x 5ml of Oramorph allowed every 4 hours daily = 40mg Morphine. I have had to stop breastfeeding to do this when baby was 14 days old and it's really got to me, had plenty of tears and just gutted, miss it sooo much... BUT I am more use to baby like this as it allows me to be a little more mobile sometimes. Mainly I am completely immobile and my pelvis is constantly locking up but atleast morphine is helping. I cannot lie on flat surfaces and had to sleep on sofa for ages! I am only just in bed now by piling lots of pillows up and i mean 7 pillows in total and another one making it 8 cushions that goes under my knees. My pelvis still locks as I have not had my O.T visit yet and the pillows keep falling over etc... so i need something else to aid me with the bed height or I am stuck immobile completely and cannot even

Finally home:

You'd think things would get better from here... you would be wrong. I was in agony the same night I was discharged and my pelvis locked up when I laid flat on the bed preventing me from breastfeeding and I had to sleep on the sofa. My parents had to come out at 4:30am and help my husband lift me to the sofa. When it did this again the next day the urgent care dept out of hours suggested I phoned the ward I was on, the ward I was on did not want to know and as far as they were concerned as they stated "You have had the baby now..." and basically I am no longer their problem. So I phoned A and E and and my mam and dad came and took me and the Dr there gave me morphine but said I could breastfeed on it. Morphine made my baby vomit so I stopped it. Second time I was stuck on the sofa unable to move and scared incase I needed the toilet as I couldn't even nudge myself forward or sit up/back so I phoned urgent care at 23:00 and the lady came out at 02:00 and gave m