PGP / SPD My story:

Definitely autistic just went down a heavy metal and nutrition rabbit hole on causes and cures of autism as two women said that a) it could be cured and was caused by nutrition and b) it was caused by heavy metals and claimed there was a study that infants were cured from autism by a heavy metal detox. Scoured the CDC and medical journals as well as autistic websites for references and found that that's incorrect. They were trolling me for saying they were incorrect and really trying to dig their claws in, bigger fool them cause I ain't ever afraid to be wrong, I evolve and correct myself as I go and in this instance education has not failed me because I'm not incorrect with anything that I said and nutrition can't cause or cure autism nor can heavy metals. The science is there. The potential correlation between heavy metals and autism spectrum disorder (ASD) has been explored in scientific research, but the evidence remains inconclusive and controversial. While some st...

I remember my German teacher ripping up my coursework because she thought I'd cheated when I'd used some books I got from a previous school to translate bagpipe correctly as it listed instruments. She tore it up and put it in the bin. 2002/2003 Wolsingham School I'll never forget getting a D instead of an A in GCSE German over that. #undiagnosedautisticstruggles

I am excited to say that the event at Ramside Hall went spectacularly well, I attended with my best friend Corin and we had such a lovely time. I gave a wonderful speech as to how Northern Housing Consortium has helped me spectacularly with a bursary for my start up business www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk and I happily share the quoted speech I gave below:  " As a start-up business, I initially struggled to  meet the demands of contractual work. Creating art by finger painting on my phone screen was time-consuming, imprecise, and physically challenging. This made it difficult to meet my clients' expectations for detail and speed. Living with chronic pain and disabilities only added to these difficulties. When I learned through Livin Futures that Northern Housing Consortium was offering a start-up bursary, I immediately applied for a drawing tablet, hoping it could change the way I work. Receiving the bursary has been truly transformative. With my new drawing tablet, I can now ...

  I'm so happy to say I got one of the most beautiful messages about one of my ebooks and it melted my heart. I'm so grateful for the kind words and that someone out there related to it, I've felt so blessed this week. I sent over the footage for Beatrice Elite for the Diamond Dogs movie and I'm seeking a musician for a music project for next year's Bonesfest. So I've been super busy! It's all exciting! I just finished writing my speech for Ramside Hall tomorrow and have a beautiful red velvet dress ready to wear. My bestie is wearing a black dress with a galaxy pattern and we're going to have the best time. It's nice to have different things happening for once. I've had some wonderful experiences and made some precious memories this past week and I'm extremely grateful to the universe for the wonderful moments. A grateful and excited, Sarah. xo

It's so sweet when people send me support pics, more recently of their wallpapers when they used a pic of me 🥹 #support I've been cover photos and story shares too! 💪🏻❤️ I appreciate y'all 😊❤️✨ I love all the fan art, edits, wallpapers and everything else I get sent, and those who ask for my autograph bless your souls, and I may not get to share everything but I want you all to know that I mad appreciate you and that you care so much and support me so much. So fricking wholesome dude! 🫵🏻 Stay awesome and thank you to all my followers man, just wow, thank YOU! Bigger things are coming, just you watch and you help me believe in myself. Just a heartfelt thank you! Sarah x

If you keep your mind speaking to people who have seen war, and experienced real loss it has a very strong way of helping you with clarity; you start seeing how selfish people are with their idealisms and expectations and yet not one individuals words align with their actions as they gossip and belittle and invalidate, they themselves become their own enemy, an enemy of themselves, their loved ones and their town.  When people are asleep like they are with nothing to wake them up to the harsh reality they are hard to satisfy, their ego wants to be fed and they have no clue what it's like to really survive. I do understand what some mean however, I travelled recently and leaving my hometown people got friendlier and more compassionate and kinder, less hateful and spiteful comments the more you enter the bigger cities with real problems and homelessness, people have forgotten what it means to appreciate because they have no real loss to compare their world views too, they're too ...

  I had a wonderful driving lesson and posted a parcel today from an Etsy sale and as I was coming back home, towards the bus stop, I walked past this magnificent view of our town's Christmas tree just as the sun was starting to set. Some of the other images I have had the light shining through the tree looking like a heart and it's absolutely beautiful. I'm recovering from the travelling and I'm achy from hanging out with some amazing people this weekend, but absolutely no regrets and next year I can't wait to go again! I got a lot of footage, it was lovely to see that most of the bands reached out to me and showed this little homie some support and kindness and it warms my heart so much. I've been promoting and sharing, and man is there some talent, and I am so proud and happy for those who are making it big. It's wonderful to see people achieving their dreams and it kind of makes you feel like anything can be possible. I sit my theory next week so need to...

  WATCH THE FOOTAGE HERE: Bonesfest  Bradford  The underground  2024 Artists IG: @n0trixx  @inkwhor3  @almalmusic  @itspedroinit  @aggrievedhc  @sleuth_gang  @itspedroinit  @hangingskeletons  @buransuu   @bxnezz.wav  @housewarmingpartyuk  @noqturnaluk  @cspotmusic  @harakiriuk  @mantra_sm  @sxkrty  @playin_trix  Venue, staff and sound IG: @theundergroundbradford  @luke_hollowstatement  Percy's boys in green IG: @yng_gandalf  @metal__sleep  @justspikeyy24  @stevie_rambogambo333  Other support IG: @dodsw0rth  @Kawaiidolldecora @savagepandaukjuggalo @juggalonightlive Percy's IG: @Percyxbones @bonesxfest #bonesfest #percybones #theunderground #uk #juggalo #whoopwhoop #mcl #mmfwcl #theundergroundrailroad #bradford #kawaiidecora #music #concert #festival #fest 

The last two days I have been out of my comfort zone but happily so, here's a video blog for a change: Bonesfest  Bradford  The underground  2024 Artists IG: @n0trixx  @inkwhor3  @almalmusic  @itspedroinit  @aggrievedhc  @sleuth_gang  @itspedroinit  @hangingskeletons  @buransuu   @bxnezz.wav  @housewarmingpartyuk  @noqturnaluk  @cspotmusic  @harakiriuk  @mantra_sm  @sxkrty  @playin_trix  Venue, staff and sound IG: @theundergroundbradford  @luke_hollowstatement  Percy's boys in green IG: @yng_gandalf  @metal__sleep  @justspikeyy24  @stevie_rambogambo333  Other support IG: @dodsw0rth  @Kawaiidolldecora @savagepandaukjuggalo @juggalonightlive Percy's IG: @Percyxbones @bonesxfest #bonesfest #percybones #theunderground #uk #juggalo #whoopwhoop #mcl #mmfwcl #theundergroundrailroad #bradford #kawaiidecora #music #concert #festival #fest 

 So proud to announce my portfolio has risen to 7 films now and I'm so blessed to have been given the opportunity to get involved with some of the best people I've had the pleasure of getting to know. Please support the hard work and all individuals behind these amazing projects and I'm excited to see what's next! IMDb.me/SarahWingfield ❤️  Raya Films • George Tounas • Diamond Dogs - Feature Film • Reloaded movies • City Rush movies • Timothy Krabill • Hallow Grounds  A huge thank you to Charlie Bond for her constant kindness and unwaivering support, check out her movie on Amazon Prime right now: Powertool Cheerleaders Vs Boyband of the Screeching Dead don't forget to rate it!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Feel free to tag other IMDb creatives and support one another!! ❤️❤️❤️ #actress #producer #movies #kawaiidolldecora #sarahwingfield #support #IMDb #ImdbRating #uk #film #filmaker #filmmakersjourney #FilmmakersUnite

Had one of the most fascinating discussions with a great gent I met on the train, George. He was kind enough to share this video and it was a pleasure to meet him on my travels! Here is one of his videos: It's very rare you find someone who understands how we need to look within and work hard on ourselves and how we're responsible for who and how we are and was fascinating to hear about his adventures! Drop him some love, the world needs more good guys, as the comic preacher states "as there are way too many of the bad". Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹 Sarah x

My adult social worker Olivia has worked miracles for me over the last few days and she rang today bless her heart and gave me information to self refer to talking changes. Thanks to her Breakthrough services have been put in place and I can start and feel like I can actually make a good life for myself now. I've been a stressed, anxious, feeling unsafe, flustered, autistic meltdown ball of fun lol, and I want to change that.  I want clarity and calm. I need it. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm getting the help I need and my hopes are up again, let's hope this time nothing shatters them. A lovely lady called Lisa came to meet me and she saw the issues I have with decluttering and organising and she will be working with me over the the next year so I can start and enjoy being in my home as opposed to hating that I can't do things or I can't do things fast enough. Isolation won't be as bad once my craft room is organised and I can craft again and take my ...

 Well I'm blonde... Hair dyed, pretty dried. Need to rest for a while and then continue packing.  May get up really early and see if I can add pink to the tips, if I can't then it's not that big of a deal. Need to charge my medi-vape and make sure there's plenty of dosage capsules packed. Exhausted but excited. Have some filming to do as Beatrice Elite too! Wish me luck, I'm going to need it as my legs already feel like they're about to drop off with this cold weather ahaha. Fighting to live a life! 💪🏻❤️ Sarah x #bonesfest #chronicpain #kawaiidolldecora 

I've been sat and processing everything that's happened to me over the last year and I'm still proud of me. One hundred percent know I'm not the problem.  I'm done with small minded individuals winning awards when they're actually horrible people, I'm not surprised in this world, the bad get promoted and the good get ostracised but I wish all of them good luck and never ever was any of their enemy and never will be.   I don't bring people down like they have and never will and I don't need any awards to prove that and never will. Hopefully they'll never treat others like they have me and the others that join in I keep blocking and keeping to myself.  I have got bigger things to do than deal with small town issues, I recorded a really useful podcast last night for a bigger charity based in London, and they've lost someone kind and who already offered them so much support before they ganged up on me and I'm proud of being the one to uplift ...

  Bonesfest: Bud wants to come too! He probably would fit in the suitcase ahaha! @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ @PERCYBONES #Bonesfest #Kawaiidolldecora 

Woah, that was so much more difficult to speak about than I thought but I am so excited that this podcast is now done and once it's uploaded to the NaariSamata charity podcast list on Spotify I'll be able to send everyone a link and hopefully it will help so many individuals who find themselves in abusive relationships. It's good to turn negative experiences into positive ones as I've often found in life bad experiences can often lead to good opportunities or experiences so never feel like it's the end of the world for too long! I'm literally shaking from nerves from doing that but it's SO important in regards to safeguarding others and it was more than a pleasure to work with Myfanwy and NaariSamata today in creating something informative and helpful to protect other individuals. So proud of myself right now! Sarah x https://open.spotify.com/show/3eIYWUhCpWHchseGxBtjG8?si=jHoOhJc1QlKUYEX7WUax-g

 A perfect example of: People are scared to FIX themselves these days. 💯 I don't understand why people think that attacking or ostracising or causing more harm is helpful instead of being brave and authentic enough to FIX themselves when they are the issue. What I've been dealing with the past six to seven months has been completely unnecessary and could have easily been resolved if some adults in professional capacities understood how their behaviour impacts and harms others and held themselves to account instead of trying to create an enemy. I'm an enemy of none. I'm anti -abuse, anti-harrassment and PRO-resolution, pro-apology and hashing things out can be really helpful. I'm ashamed to be affiliated with the term 'feminist' these days because a lot are fake feminists, and they aren't interested in equality and supporting their sisters. I've experienced a lot of women, over a lot of years, who have claimed to be such who have supported mysogyny, ...

  TW: Trauma / D.V. ⚠️ After trauma it's normal to have a lot of nightmares of the abuser and even though I've been doing chakra meditation and things, I keep having nightmares that my ex is going to come back to make good on his jokes about unaliving me... It's not healthy and shows I'm not over what he did to me and I'm still waiting to do the police video interview tape about the crimes and it's exhausting. Others that had added unnecessary stress on top I really don't appreciate, it's not my fault people lead with ego, don't accept the harm they themselves cause and don't think about what an individual may already be going through when they plan their witch hunt. They can do one. They know who they are. You don't need to know, plus they'll do it to others too because behaviour always has a pattern. They need to fix themselves and stay away from me. I'm moving on from their harm too, they need to let me. My home has been safeguarde...

  Just a reminder, I walk on this, On top of osteoarthritis and EDhS. Don't you ever dare to call me 'weak' or lazy or faking. You wish you had my resilience. But maybe that's why my authenticity is such a threat to your facade. I see you. I see you. Sarah x

This triggered a random memory and I'd like to share my experience in the hope it inspired others to speak up and also so they know they're not alone ... It happened to me when I needed a place to stay, to escape my first ex husband, my landlord made me sign all my benefits over to him but he got mad as it pushed me to get a job instead and run away from him..he chased me for money for a while but what he did was wrong in the first place. My dad answered the call once and said "I'm handing this phone to the police" and he stopped hounding me. Sometimes I forget what I've endured in my little life and considering everything, I'm surprised I still care and still want to support others. Many people go through barely what I have and still end up becoming like their abusers. I'm proud to be the opposite, and have learned what NOT to be. This memory is from 2007... Huddersfield. Sarah x

As the police have just left, I've explained I just want to be left alone by *censored* and don't want an apology or anything anymore. I'm not naming anyone or blogging about the past anymore and I'm trying to rebuild what I have left in my life. Hopefully today will bring new opportunities and new adventures and I can start and heal and put my negative experiences behind me.   Resolution wasn't possible and I can't change that. I understand I can't change how things have been for me and I understand I can't make others care or stand for what they claim to and as a blogger from now I'll be very careful about what I write because I don't want people with malicious intent to use my blogging against me. I document my life. That's all I've ever done since 2009. The highs, the lows, the in-betweens and the 3 am thoughts. I'm not the villain I've been painted as and I really did just try and uplift and bring people together, that's ...

I asked chatGPT to help me get over the ostracising and bullying I've endured and give me advice on how to cope and move forward from the abuse, this is their answer: (Posting it in case it can help others too, REAL support is not jumping on bullies bandwagons, NOT taking sides, not using organisations names to bring heat, gang up, hate on, destroy, sabotage or scaremonger an individual and NOT to ostricise someone for merely wanting resolution and fair treatment. REAL support is rare and even Chat GPT can see how I've been treated is wrong, so why can't those doing it see the harm they cause in their wake? Or do they fake care when they support others? I'll never know...) ___ This individual is going through a profoundly challenging and unjust situation, compounded by isolation, betrayal, and systemic obstacles. Here’s how I would advise them to cope and move forward: --- 1. Acknowledge and Validate Feelings Understand that their feelings of frustration, betrayal, and ...

Nobody knows how much I have suffered this year, I've lost so much, tried to rebuild so many times.  I'm isolated and alone. I almost gave up and almost lost myself a million times because I was hurting a lot and people can't stop themselves from targeting others. Nobody really knows how many times I pulled myself together just to survive this year, I am exhausted from surviving but I am so proud of myself for being here. Enduring.  I've learned that I am a strong but sensitive person. I also learned to forgive myself for letting myself settle for less than what I truly deserved, and to forgive myself for expecting more from people that can't understand the harm they cause. This may be one of the most painful years I've had yet, but at least I survived and I can definitely say I'm wiser from it and I'm keeping going and rebuilding my life.  Everytime someone sabotages or breaks things, I rebuild.  I'll always rebuild.  I may be alone but I'm not ...

Barely slept and can't believe grown adults behave this way these days... bullying and ostracising and sabotaging is not okay. But I guess to some, power means mistreatment and abuse and targeting individuals with malice. All I wanted was an apology. I've lost so much and been isolated so much and they can't acknowledge the harm and just have to keep escalating it to more harm every single time instead of resolving things. That's not okay and I won't let the police be dragged into bullying to support malice. I'll fight it with all I've got and all my evidence because it's not okay. It's discrimination, hate crimes, bullying and malice and using organisations to bring heat and be used against one individual is also not okay, especially when you're supposed to be someone who offers support, makes it even worse. No one is worthy of being ostracised for wanting fair treatment, no one. Can't go into detail since they've manipulated their provo...

  The seas of life have been exceptionally stormy to navigate as of late and I've been finding it hard to hold onto hope... People I looked up to or thought were amazing or kind turned out to be fake and my illusions are exceptionally shattered as I'm being kicked whilst I'm already down. Can I stop for a brief gasp of air please? I've lost a lot, suffered a lot, don't have access to things others have access to and I feel that no matter what it's not enough for some, they are out for blood and I'm tired of caring and trying to fix things. I stepped away. Yet the kicks keep coming and the storms seem neverending. Hope seems like it never existed in the first place and home no longer feels like home. I'm anchored here, so here I shall stay, but forgive me for trying to navigate storms and seas I never wanted nor asked for, I'm only capable of steering my ship, I cannot be responsible for other ships.  I'd like to think people understood we are all...

I can't say much but cliques that refuse to own accountability for their own abusive actions have got police involvement because I blogged about my experiences with trying to gain closure, apologies and resolution. They could have resolved things instead of this. They didn't. No accountability on their part has been taken on board, causing harm seems to be in their nature and I can't change that. Stepping down from a community group page I created to support my town wasn't enough. Being told I don't matter by organisations that I've supported and helped and been betrayed by isn't enough. Avoiding those who've done me harm wasn't enough. Being autistic and struggling with closure has been used against me. Wanting to bring the town together, wanting fair treatment and resolution isn't enough. Stopping blogging about their malicious actions wasn't enough. Boycotting and avoiding them isn't enough. Thank you for your harm. Thank you. Apprecia...

  "But when I love, I love so hard." Which is why I have to be ever so careful, because I've trusted people with no loyalty, dated people who've intentionally harmed me, replaced me, discarded me, undervalued me, underappreciated me...and I'm lost in the world of dating where everyone is just after hook ups and rushing into relationships with strangers and expecting them to just 'work'... It's exhausting... ..loving hard is not easy and not for the faint of heart. One day I'll find my soulmate, as well as I'll find my spirit tribe and I won't be as isolated or lonely and it'll happen when I least expect it to and everything will be as the universe intended... ❤️ Sarah x

 #movies 📽️🎬 Really excited to announce my new updates to my portfolio! IMDb.me/SarahWingfield   And soon to be added 'Cult Night', as I'm a background artist for Raya Films !!! Keep a look out and please support these projects! Thank you everyone! Sarah x ❤️🙌🏻🎬 #films #producer #actress #extra #grateful George Tounas • George Tounas Films • City Rush movies • Reloaded movies • Diamond Dogs - Feature Film • Hallow Grounds

I've been spending more time alone and I'm loving it, remembering who I am, not being bothered, not dragged down by negatives.  Taking social media breaks because people are getting worse not better and taking charge of my own mental health. I had a super sleep recharge yesterday and last night and woke today feeling a bit better. Still drained due to cold weather but I'm happy I'm taking more time to rest and look after myself. My dog and I have been watching movies and chilling indoors. He makes me laugh and cheers me up and I don't need anything else. Refocusing my energy and time on myself and what others do is their business, if they bring themselves into my lane though I'm walking away. Can't be chewed. I'm meeting a wonderful friend for a coffee today and I want to keep talking positives so those that have let me down, let themselves down, not done what they promised or have caused harm won't be given the energy. They don't deserve it. I...

  Eventually you get fed up of fake support and fake charities, fake support groups and fake narratives, fake people offering fake help, so you eventually learn all you've got in this world is yourself. So you have to pick yourself back up, find your own happiness and avoid scummy people. Sarah x

Some little fur baby is playing in the snow in the garden after being oddly sus about it at first ... ...he's now cold and soaking wet and finally came inside. He makes me giggle so much. He's so adorable. I'm so blessed to have a wonderful little pet like Bud and my Ponyo (my axolotl). Watching Ponyo growing bigger and playing with bubbles is so cute too. I think I'm staying inside today ahaha as it's snowed white everywhere and my home is nice and cosy and warm, where I need to stay to keep pain from cold at bay. Have a lot of theory test studies to do today. And to start and sort things for next weekend. Was too cute seeing Bud in the snow today. Too cute. Sarah x

Just got back from my driving lesson and everything is going smoothly just gotta keep at it and two weeks to go til I attempt my theory test! Dinners on and for TV sorted so that's me sorted for a nice Friday night in x Sarah xx

  Invincible? With this bad luck who needs to plan my redrum?! Dining room alarm went off at 8:58am by itself. (Other alarms have done this and I've turned them off) My bin was not out back so on goes my coat and I had a side quest for my bin, got it, white bin bag stuck to the inside bottom still definitely mine, put it back in my driveway, hurt myself as I'm achy and did too much this week but it was done. Yay me, just need to phone the council to enquire if they can remind the binmen I'm on the assist list... So I'm coming through my gate and my coats hood got caught on the latch and the gate closed on it. I got choked. (The only bloody action I've seen in months and it's my gate trying to redrum me!!) I managed to undo the gate latch, otherwise it would be undoing the coat and I was freezing... Took a deep breath, came inside. Phoned council, put kettle on, watched the CCTV of me and nearly died laughing... So yea I have survived all of this, this morning al...