Narcissists and No contact:
#narcissisticabuseawareness
Written by Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹
Stay safe this Christmas, keep it NO contact.
Narcissist behavioural traits:
They don't accept the harm they cause to others.
They antagonise and bait and deliberately sometimes state false things to get a response as people try and clarify and fix things and then they use the response to manipulate and distort it to turn people against the person being genuine.
They can't be wrong.
They blame others for their struggles.
They are always the victim and they never admit their actions caused harm.
No accountability.
In their head they're innocent.
They justify their abuse and make excuses up for it when no abuse is justifiable.
They gaslight and manipulate the narrative and twist the truth.
They smear campaign but act like they're the ones being smear campaigned.
They lack empathy and compassion but use others empathy and compassion against them to manipulate them and make others feel bad and guilty or feel sorry for them or to play on their emotions.
They threaten.
They will take credit and promotion but as soon as something isn't to their liking or what they want they go on the attack.
They lie and lie, even to the police.
They harm people and cease communication and only communicate when it fits their agenda or they want to get away with what they've done or want to gaslight, manipulate or play the victim.
They don't offer resolution only more problems.
They think opinions are facts.
They can't self reflect.
They can't put themselves in another's shoes.
The victim they start on is always the perpetrator in their eyes and nothing you can do can change that.
Anything genuine and nice a person does is twisted and manipulated and distorted too.
They downplay their abuse and invalidate others.
They are out of touch with reality.
They take sides and escalate situations.
They don't de-escalate.
They want people to think they're kind when their actions prove otherwise.
Their actions and words are rarely in alignment.
They don't care about what others go through or others struggles but will use their struggles to manipulate and gaslight and justify their poor choices and behaviour.
They make excuses up for the way they harmed others and twist people defending themselves into false narratives that they are starting things when their target only ever defended themselves.
They don't like the truth seeing the light of day.
People find them easy to believe! (Major issue.)
They devalue people, partners and even their kids.
They control people and like to influence others.
They're often in a leader position for validation purposes and influence.
They hide bad behaviour and bad deeds behind good deeds.
They constantly tell people they're a 'nice person'.
They promise things and then never do them or do the opposite.
They don't follow their own policies and procedures and don't safeguard people when they're in a position where they're supposed to.
They breach data protection acts and confidentiality because they feel they're superior and have the right to.
They discard people who see through their facade and attack them and do everything to hide the facts or the truth.
When the person being attacked fights back they play the victim and seek out psychological tactics that can get the person they chose to attack harmed.
They'll act like they didn't want the harm after initiating it.
They word things nastily or maliciously to further invalidate or belittle and to meet their agenda.
They won't allow another's perspective.
They claim to be righteous or religious or have morals but you can quickly see from behaviour they don't even though some of what they do will be an act to disguise that.
They enjoy doing all of the above and they have crocodile tears when caught.
No contact is the only safeguarding from such individuals.
Go NO CONTACT this Christmas!🎄
Why No Contact is Key:
It protects your mental and emotional well-being.
It prevents further manipulation, gaslighting, or abuse.
It helps you focus on your healing journey without interference.
How to Stay No Contact:
1. Block Communication: Block their number, email, and social media to avoid any attempts at contact.
2. Set Boundaries: Make it clear to mutual friends or family that you don’t want information shared about or with the narcissist.
3. Prepare Mentally: Understand that they may try to bait or guilt-trip you, especially during the holidays.
4. Find Support: Reach out to trusted friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you stay strong.
5. Focus on Yourself: Spend time doing things you love, practicing self-care, and creating positive holiday memories.
Remember, going no contact isn't about punishing them; it's about protecting yourself. You deserve peace, love, and kindness—not manipulation or harm. Stay strong and safe this holiday season.
Additional information that can be helpful to you:
1. Projection:
Narcissists often project their own flaws, insecurities, and harmful behaviors onto others, accusing them of the very things they themselves are doing.
2. Triangulation:
They may involve third parties in conflicts to create division, foster distrust, or strengthen their own position by pitting people against each other.
3. Love-Bombing and Devaluation Cycle:
Initially, they may overwhelm someone with affection, compliments, and attention (love-bombing) to gain control, followed by devaluation once the person is invested.
4. Enabling Others:
They often surround themselves with enablers who support or excuse their behavior, sometimes out of fear or manipulation.
5. Hoovering:
After a period of no contact, they may attempt to re-engage by feigning remorse, making promises of change, or manipulating emotions to draw their target back in.
6. Financial Abuse:
They may control or exploit finances to exert power over their victims.
7. Silent Treatment:
They often use the silent treatment as a tool to punish, manipulate, or control, leaving the victim in a state of confusion and emotional distress.
8. Flying Monkeys:
Narcissists may recruit others to do their bidding, spreading false narratives or further harassing their target on their behalf.
Additional Advice for No Contact:
Legal Protections:
If needed, seek legal advice, such as restraining orders or documenting incidents of harassment, to ensure your safety.
Digital Hygiene:
Monitor your online presence and privacy settings to prevent them from accessing information about you indirectly.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time. Remind yourself that choosing no contact is an act of self-love, not weakness.
Stay safe!
Have a wonderful holiday this Christmas.
Sarah Wingfield ❤️🎄
