Living with SPD and HMS. SURVIVING ABUSIVE DR'S!
I know that living with SPD is difficult enough, but mix that with a joint condition and it is a whole new ball game.
But, that does not mean that you cannot get the help you deserve. http://www.hypermobility.org/ are a HMS Charity that has guided me through some of the tough times with HMS.
If you become a member like i have, you receive lots of important and relevant information, and if your blessed to be in an area where they meet up, in which i am not, then you can discuss things with others who are in the same situation.
I cannot update anything else as the Health Psychologist Department have not been in touch despite the fact that i was informed ONLY the Pain Psychologist Dept, have dismissed me.
I am losing faith and losing patience and i am very grateful to be able to receive counselling yet again via my GP. But this counselling is not the psychology i need to be able to accept this disability to the full.
Many women struggle accepting SPD, HMS and even if for a short temporary period of time, women need to get over what they have experienced. As i am stuck with both conditions i have to try and help myself as no one else wants to help me or put me first, which is yet another reason why i started the SPD charity Support Pelvic Dysfunction.
Women like us, should not have to go through these experiences unsupported, especially when in many cases, and in mine, we have endured malpractice and abuse from Dr's and have been labelled wrongly in the notes. As abusive, as Deluded as my ex Gynae stated. Deluded. Is there really any need for that? Well he also said that i would never be diagnosed with HMS, and he was proven wrong, why? Because HE was the one that ignored my SPD diagnosis made on 16th July 2009.
We remember this date clearly as transport took us to the wrong hospital and the lady there saw us and gave me crutches that i was not measured for.
HE ignored that and made the most disgusting assumptions that i had self referred to Social Services, i had not. A local hospital Wheelchair Dept Referral was made by a different physio and it was all dealt with through Drs and professionals.
And with all the evidence in his notes, but too lazy i can only assume to read them, he went and lied to Social Services Safeguarding childrens department to tell them i was an unfit mother, that referred myself to social services and made up the SPD claim. (ALL medical notes prove otherwise - unless the NHS professionals failed to document appointments- which i doubt, as they have to, do they not?) Despite this fact, we still had to go through an ordeal of an investigation in the FIRST few days we should have been enjoying our son at home!
Not only did this man rob me of my pregnancy, he robbed me of my 1st few days at home too, and they did not deal with my complaint legally, appropriately or with respect. I was NOT allowed a meeting with them and PALS was told to no longer get involved after i had phoned them about the abusive investigation report in response to my SERIOUS complaint.
It was not just the first few days either, the investigation took time, precious time we should have had with our son, in our new home, with no access to bathroom and toilet and sleeping in the living room with a commode. (17 months we waited for adaptations). (This is the same Gynae Dr. that refused to write to DLA and confirm what my GP and Physio had already confirmed amongst others, which lead to a delay in financial benefits which made us homeless when i was 35 weeks pregnant, not only that either, lost my business i had set up from nothing, my job for a well known and reputable Dr and Inventor, and my husbands job as a Factory Operative (Nightshifts) as he had to become my full time carer.) All this from 12 weeks as thats when i woke up one morning and just like that, i couldn't turn in bed and then the pain was unbearable from that point on. (ALL documented as it happened in this blog).
The report (reply to my complaint) stated that no nurses were present to confirm that this gynae had humiliated me by not allowing my husband to pull my underwear up from my ankles after an internal examination. This contradicts itself as nurses HAVE to be present during times as such, and there are many more flaws including the abusive language used against me.
WHY not take him to court if he was sooo bad??
Ill tell you. Because although i am trying to get over all of this ordeal, i do not wish to face this abusive man again because just seeing his face makes me feel sick, and i have verbal reports from over 50 women that claim he tells women that their baby could have died and that he saved them, which explains the only reason he could be receiving compliments and gets to stay and be an abusive Dr.
If authorities CANNOT protect you YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELVES!
HERE IS A GUIDE I PUT TOGETHER TO PREVENT YOURSELF FROM BECOMING A VICTIM OF ABUSE FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL:
1) Always be adament that what they have to discuss about your case or you as a patient is always discussed infront of you. (my Dr mis informed staff on wards that i was able bodied and i was left falling constantly whilst heavily pregnant, left without food, with no commode facilities and left to struggle to get in and out of bed!)
2)If you feel uncomfortable about the way they are treating you or what they are saying to you, you have every right to change your Dr. Even if they protest this, you have to fight and stick to your guns!
3)I learned the hard way, SPD is AGONY during examinations, and my DR examined me EVERY TIME i saw him because it was vital for the baby to survive i was told by him. When he did so he would ask me does it hurt here, here? etc etc. And i would be honest and say yes! I was screaming in agony, no ones THAT good an actress! He would tut and say "thats not spd pain" no its coccyx pain i later found out, due to SPD.
So make sure you are NOT enduring examinations and PAIN just because your DR is skeptical!
4)Keep a log/blog or diary to make sure you have everything written in writing, although i am afraid to go to court due to their made up claims im abusive etc. and because i couldnt emotionally cope with his face, people have 3 years to take anyone to court and having things written down is VITAL, especially names and dates (if not a blog as i dont advise distributing areas or names in public blogs) Money is not important to me, my family and their health is, so i am trying to put it all behind me.
5) NEVER go alone! Take a friend, take your partner, take your mother, NEVER go alone, make sure you always have a witness! TO EVERY DR/gynae visit.
6)Make sure you are in a hospital that has an SPD policy in place, not every hospital at this time does, but you can ask at reception or Gynae reception, or ask a Midwife. You are also allowed to view this policy.
7)Ignore any DR who claims your FAT is causing problems, or that you are a hypochondriac, they are not willing to do their job and they won't make exceptions, so change them straight away!
8)If you need a wheelchair you are eligable for hospital transport, don't let any Dr have a go at you about this facility, it is there for wheelchair users (who can take their partners if they need a carer, and/or child ) if no other transports available. We have no car at this time, and although i am looking into motability car once i get my provisional, my EX Dr, Same one as mentioned in all of this, shouted at me and my husband on a busy ward, where everyone could hear, (no confidentiality at the best of times) and complained that i should not be in a wheelchair and that i should not be wasting NHS money by using transport, and instead i should pay £50 per taxi to get there. (DESPITE me not being able to get disabled accessible taxi's or afford them if they existed DUE TO (as mentioned perviously) this DR refusing to write to DLA and therefore causing us to become homeless at 35 weeks pregnant, i lost my business and my job, and my husband lost his job having to look after me)-If only he would have read the medical notes and written to DLA, and if only he had sent me to further SPD experts who would have confirmed SPD.
9)If a Physio is not prepared to help you because they believe ALL SPD goes away after birth, then you need to see a different Physio in womens health, Some do get better, but the ones who find themselves with severe pain and mobility problems may have underlying joint conditions or conditions causing SPD to stay, get the crutches and wheelchair if you need them! Ask to be referred to an OT and get your house adapted with movable and storable adaptations to get you through! Then if you do not recover you have them to continue to help you, and if you do, you can return them.
10)Make sure that you see a physio that knows about SPD and get your diagnosis, once diagnosed seek manual therapy, acupuncture and other things that help you, and more importantly seek the tests that you will need if SPD continues post birth. These tests are a STORK X-RAY (stand on one leg scan) of the pelvis and is the only one that can show up SPD as your in asymmetrical position, and rheumatologists etc for any underlying joint condition tests like HMS (HYPERMOBILITY SYNDROME), Fibromyalgia, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, P.o.T.S and so on.
This is your 1-10 Guide, once you have your tests and everything has been diagnosed you then have concrete evidence to apply to DLA, if your refused, APPEAL straight away, this is VERY COMMON.
LAST AND FINAL IMPORTANT NOTE:
MAKE SURE YOU ARE AWARE OF WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO DURING LABOUR WHEN YOU HAVE SPD:
Best ways to recover:
1- keep your legs in a symmetrical position and make sure that they are measured so when you have pain relief you know how far they can widen prior to pain kicking in. (As once you have pain relief you wont be aware)
2-NO STIRRUPS
3-DONT REST legs on nurse or nurses shoulders.
4-NO lathatomy position.
5-No intervention if baby isnt coming out, go straight to C-section, as i have found it common that cords get tangled and you want your baby to come out safe. As well as that any interventions including forceps can worsen and lengthen your SPD.
6-Keep in a comfortable and symmetrical position at all times, even if on all fours is working for you.
7-IF you need a C-Section, make sure the surgeons know that you have SPD and that your legs need to be taped together or kept in the same symmetrical position at ALL TIMES.
8-Take your time to recover, SPD victims find it very painful to try and stand post c-section and some post birth. Plenty of rest. Take it slowly and if you need your wheelchair or crutches state so.
9-I have a birthing plan on this blog, click birthing or birthing plan on the right, this is an example and you can use it to write yours. This makes sure ALL medical staff are aware of SPD as shift changes can lead to confusion. LAMINATE it! (Birth can get messy) And bring atleast 5 copies!! Keep some in your actual notes, in the file at the bottom of the bed and keep one at your bedside table!
10- ALWAYS make sure the buzzer is within reach at all times, as nurses dont like it when you have to shout for them, even if your disabled or ill with SPD.
All of this is suggestions as i am not a medical professional however i AM a victim of HMS and SPD, and i HAVE experienced all i have declared and the evidence is provided when you follow my story on this blog.
I have studied SPD since, for 3.5 years now and I have founded a charity to try and help women and prevent the incidents, rudeness, disability discrimination, and malpractice and abuse re-occuring to more innocent victims of SPD.
SPD is NOT a condition people would WANT to fake, nor is it a GOOD thing.
Its life changing in a very negative and destructive way and ALL SPD victims HAVE to recover from their experience of having it, or accept they have it if longer term, for the sake of their child(ren) and families!
Yours Truly.
The lady behind it all.
Mrs. S.
<3
P.S. No names, places or personal information is provided at any part of this blog about any of the professionals mentioned or where they practice. This is because who they are, are not important, what is important is that people like this exist all over, and we need to be aware of people's experiences with them and how to deal with them and change things, so that you can have the best experiences possible and prevent abusive people from taking advantage or abusing you for longer periods of time. I thought i could trust this Dr. and it was devastating, but if i had seen sense and realised that he was doing what he was behind our backs INSTEAD of DEFENDING THIS DR, to my midwife and others, then we could have changed Dr's sooner and avoided HIS ABUSE!
But, that does not mean that you cannot get the help you deserve. http://www.hypermobility.org/ are a HMS Charity that has guided me through some of the tough times with HMS.
If you become a member like i have, you receive lots of important and relevant information, and if your blessed to be in an area where they meet up, in which i am not, then you can discuss things with others who are in the same situation.
I cannot update anything else as the Health Psychologist Department have not been in touch despite the fact that i was informed ONLY the Pain Psychologist Dept, have dismissed me.
I am losing faith and losing patience and i am very grateful to be able to receive counselling yet again via my GP. But this counselling is not the psychology i need to be able to accept this disability to the full.
Many women struggle accepting SPD, HMS and even if for a short temporary period of time, women need to get over what they have experienced. As i am stuck with both conditions i have to try and help myself as no one else wants to help me or put me first, which is yet another reason why i started the SPD charity Support Pelvic Dysfunction.
Women like us, should not have to go through these experiences unsupported, especially when in many cases, and in mine, we have endured malpractice and abuse from Dr's and have been labelled wrongly in the notes. As abusive, as Deluded as my ex Gynae stated. Deluded. Is there really any need for that? Well he also said that i would never be diagnosed with HMS, and he was proven wrong, why? Because HE was the one that ignored my SPD diagnosis made on 16th July 2009.
We remember this date clearly as transport took us to the wrong hospital and the lady there saw us and gave me crutches that i was not measured for.
HE ignored that and made the most disgusting assumptions that i had self referred to Social Services, i had not. A local hospital Wheelchair Dept Referral was made by a different physio and it was all dealt with through Drs and professionals.
And with all the evidence in his notes, but too lazy i can only assume to read them, he went and lied to Social Services Safeguarding childrens department to tell them i was an unfit mother, that referred myself to social services and made up the SPD claim. (ALL medical notes prove otherwise - unless the NHS professionals failed to document appointments- which i doubt, as they have to, do they not?) Despite this fact, we still had to go through an ordeal of an investigation in the FIRST few days we should have been enjoying our son at home!
Not only did this man rob me of my pregnancy, he robbed me of my 1st few days at home too, and they did not deal with my complaint legally, appropriately or with respect. I was NOT allowed a meeting with them and PALS was told to no longer get involved after i had phoned them about the abusive investigation report in response to my SERIOUS complaint.
It was not just the first few days either, the investigation took time, precious time we should have had with our son, in our new home, with no access to bathroom and toilet and sleeping in the living room with a commode. (17 months we waited for adaptations). (This is the same Gynae Dr. that refused to write to DLA and confirm what my GP and Physio had already confirmed amongst others, which lead to a delay in financial benefits which made us homeless when i was 35 weeks pregnant, not only that either, lost my business i had set up from nothing, my job for a well known and reputable Dr and Inventor, and my husbands job as a Factory Operative (Nightshifts) as he had to become my full time carer.) All this from 12 weeks as thats when i woke up one morning and just like that, i couldn't turn in bed and then the pain was unbearable from that point on. (ALL documented as it happened in this blog).
The report (reply to my complaint) stated that no nurses were present to confirm that this gynae had humiliated me by not allowing my husband to pull my underwear up from my ankles after an internal examination. This contradicts itself as nurses HAVE to be present during times as such, and there are many more flaws including the abusive language used against me.
WHY not take him to court if he was sooo bad??
Ill tell you. Because although i am trying to get over all of this ordeal, i do not wish to face this abusive man again because just seeing his face makes me feel sick, and i have verbal reports from over 50 women that claim he tells women that their baby could have died and that he saved them, which explains the only reason he could be receiving compliments and gets to stay and be an abusive Dr.
If authorities CANNOT protect you YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELVES!
HERE IS A GUIDE I PUT TOGETHER TO PREVENT YOURSELF FROM BECOMING A VICTIM OF ABUSE FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL:
1) Always be adament that what they have to discuss about your case or you as a patient is always discussed infront of you. (my Dr mis informed staff on wards that i was able bodied and i was left falling constantly whilst heavily pregnant, left without food, with no commode facilities and left to struggle to get in and out of bed!)
2)If you feel uncomfortable about the way they are treating you or what they are saying to you, you have every right to change your Dr. Even if they protest this, you have to fight and stick to your guns!
3)I learned the hard way, SPD is AGONY during examinations, and my DR examined me EVERY TIME i saw him because it was vital for the baby to survive i was told by him. When he did so he would ask me does it hurt here, here? etc etc. And i would be honest and say yes! I was screaming in agony, no ones THAT good an actress! He would tut and say "thats not spd pain" no its coccyx pain i later found out, due to SPD.
So make sure you are NOT enduring examinations and PAIN just because your DR is skeptical!
4)Keep a log/blog or diary to make sure you have everything written in writing, although i am afraid to go to court due to their made up claims im abusive etc. and because i couldnt emotionally cope with his face, people have 3 years to take anyone to court and having things written down is VITAL, especially names and dates (if not a blog as i dont advise distributing areas or names in public blogs) Money is not important to me, my family and their health is, so i am trying to put it all behind me.
5) NEVER go alone! Take a friend, take your partner, take your mother, NEVER go alone, make sure you always have a witness! TO EVERY DR/gynae visit.
6)Make sure you are in a hospital that has an SPD policy in place, not every hospital at this time does, but you can ask at reception or Gynae reception, or ask a Midwife. You are also allowed to view this policy.
7)Ignore any DR who claims your FAT is causing problems, or that you are a hypochondriac, they are not willing to do their job and they won't make exceptions, so change them straight away!
8)If you need a wheelchair you are eligable for hospital transport, don't let any Dr have a go at you about this facility, it is there for wheelchair users (who can take their partners if they need a carer, and/or child ) if no other transports available. We have no car at this time, and although i am looking into motability car once i get my provisional, my EX Dr, Same one as mentioned in all of this, shouted at me and my husband on a busy ward, where everyone could hear, (no confidentiality at the best of times) and complained that i should not be in a wheelchair and that i should not be wasting NHS money by using transport, and instead i should pay £50 per taxi to get there. (DESPITE me not being able to get disabled accessible taxi's or afford them if they existed DUE TO (as mentioned perviously) this DR refusing to write to DLA and therefore causing us to become homeless at 35 weeks pregnant, i lost my business and my job, and my husband lost his job having to look after me)-If only he would have read the medical notes and written to DLA, and if only he had sent me to further SPD experts who would have confirmed SPD.
9)If a Physio is not prepared to help you because they believe ALL SPD goes away after birth, then you need to see a different Physio in womens health, Some do get better, but the ones who find themselves with severe pain and mobility problems may have underlying joint conditions or conditions causing SPD to stay, get the crutches and wheelchair if you need them! Ask to be referred to an OT and get your house adapted with movable and storable adaptations to get you through! Then if you do not recover you have them to continue to help you, and if you do, you can return them.
10)Make sure that you see a physio that knows about SPD and get your diagnosis, once diagnosed seek manual therapy, acupuncture and other things that help you, and more importantly seek the tests that you will need if SPD continues post birth. These tests are a STORK X-RAY (stand on one leg scan) of the pelvis and is the only one that can show up SPD as your in asymmetrical position, and rheumatologists etc for any underlying joint condition tests like HMS (HYPERMOBILITY SYNDROME), Fibromyalgia, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, P.o.T.S and so on.
This is your 1-10 Guide, once you have your tests and everything has been diagnosed you then have concrete evidence to apply to DLA, if your refused, APPEAL straight away, this is VERY COMMON.
LAST AND FINAL IMPORTANT NOTE:
MAKE SURE YOU ARE AWARE OF WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO DURING LABOUR WHEN YOU HAVE SPD:
Best ways to recover:
1- keep your legs in a symmetrical position and make sure that they are measured so when you have pain relief you know how far they can widen prior to pain kicking in. (As once you have pain relief you wont be aware)
2-NO STIRRUPS
3-DONT REST legs on nurse or nurses shoulders.
4-NO lathatomy position.
5-No intervention if baby isnt coming out, go straight to C-section, as i have found it common that cords get tangled and you want your baby to come out safe. As well as that any interventions including forceps can worsen and lengthen your SPD.
6-Keep in a comfortable and symmetrical position at all times, even if on all fours is working for you.
7-IF you need a C-Section, make sure the surgeons know that you have SPD and that your legs need to be taped together or kept in the same symmetrical position at ALL TIMES.
8-Take your time to recover, SPD victims find it very painful to try and stand post c-section and some post birth. Plenty of rest. Take it slowly and if you need your wheelchair or crutches state so.
9-I have a birthing plan on this blog, click birthing or birthing plan on the right, this is an example and you can use it to write yours. This makes sure ALL medical staff are aware of SPD as shift changes can lead to confusion. LAMINATE it! (Birth can get messy) And bring atleast 5 copies!! Keep some in your actual notes, in the file at the bottom of the bed and keep one at your bedside table!
10- ALWAYS make sure the buzzer is within reach at all times, as nurses dont like it when you have to shout for them, even if your disabled or ill with SPD.
All of this is suggestions as i am not a medical professional however i AM a victim of HMS and SPD, and i HAVE experienced all i have declared and the evidence is provided when you follow my story on this blog.
I have studied SPD since, for 3.5 years now and I have founded a charity to try and help women and prevent the incidents, rudeness, disability discrimination, and malpractice and abuse re-occuring to more innocent victims of SPD.
SPD is NOT a condition people would WANT to fake, nor is it a GOOD thing.
Its life changing in a very negative and destructive way and ALL SPD victims HAVE to recover from their experience of having it, or accept they have it if longer term, for the sake of their child(ren) and families!
Yours Truly.
The lady behind it all.
Mrs. S.
<3
P.S. No names, places or personal information is provided at any part of this blog about any of the professionals mentioned or where they practice. This is because who they are, are not important, what is important is that people like this exist all over, and we need to be aware of people's experiences with them and how to deal with them and change things, so that you can have the best experiences possible and prevent abusive people from taking advantage or abusing you for longer periods of time. I thought i could trust this Dr. and it was devastating, but if i had seen sense and realised that he was doing what he was behind our backs INSTEAD of DEFENDING THIS DR, to my midwife and others, then we could have changed Dr's sooner and avoided HIS ABUSE!
