Why am I always the loophole?

When I went to college I had my bus pass revoked by the council and did bad in my exams cause I needed to find the bus fare for the two weeks exams otherwise not go. (Worked for funds.)

Why do I have to always be the loophole?

Everyone at college got ESA and some spent it on clothes and bragged about it when the cut off was my birth date and because of that I could only eat two out of the five college days because I was given £2 a day to eat.

Chips cost way more than that.

Why do I always have to be the loophole?

Postcode lotteries dictate who gets help and who doesn't and councils claim they help but their system is flawed.

Why do I always have to be the loophole?

I've been denied a food parcel today without scrutinisation and judgement.

~life knows how to grind you down when you try and better yourself ~

Because I have an overdraft and it costs to be in it, 

(I'm in it) the Council won't assist me.

So without food I go.

Thanks Durham County Council.

To get food I have to go into more debt.

I won't.

How is that helpful?! 

The lady was kind as she has to do her job but I asked for £10 to maybe get some bread and butter but they can't do that so I've asked her to refer me to food bank places.

If Junction 7 local charity, hadn't been so awful I could have tried there but now I'm suffering because they can't be kind.

Thank you for that [couple that run it]! 

Good one! 🤘

I'm not hiding anymore.

Your charity really does help make this town worse!!

Anything Aycliffe: please let them know how they've affected me even more badly, I'm sure with how they've treated me they'd like to celebrate cause they chose hostility and everything over an apology and kindness, so they'll be pleased to hear that their abuse has caused me more suffering.' Junction 7 Surplus Food Recipes and Tips ' I can only tag that page. 

Why is it so hard to be disabled and I'm being scrutinised for wanting some bank privacy and because I paid my 💸 bills instead of getting food, I got some food I'm just low on funds because of the system and PIP.

I'm neurodivergent so I panic if I don't pay them and have meltdowns. (DCC said I should have got food instead of paying some bills.)

I just got my credit score in a good place.

I'm still fighting PIP at the moment as some costs are to mobilise the same as abled bodied people and manage my pain condition, if I'm in bad pain and without management I'm vomiting and faint and can't even eat anyway.

Pain management is CRUCIAL to being able to be ok and to live.

I don't think this is a good system for UK citizens and it will cost the country MORE in the long run because food is a necessity and without it people become ill and being type 2 diabetic and anaemic it puts me in danger.

I'm not ashamed of my situation and I'm trying to make it better and I refuse to be scrutinised or judged for my decisions because they were made with my health in mind.

I'm CLEARLY not the only one going through all of this so my voice about this matters, if there is going to be any change.

At this rate they're forcing people to beg, or have to go in Tesco (or supermarkets) with a sign, please donate something so I can survive!! 😢

I don't steal and I never will so it's without I go, unless they can find somewhere willing to help.

The police referred me to someone in Shildon via email but they are non-responsive and haven't helped.

I feel so sorry for the families that are struggling right now. This is crazy. All that wasted food from supermarkets and ALL these CHARITIES WITH FOOD PARCELS and yet apparently NONE can help me!

The one I thought would was awful and because they refused to acknowledge how they'd harmed someone they went on a war. 

Wars don't actually achieve anything ya know, just a lot of human damage. (Completely unnecessary.)

Wow.

~life knows how to grind you down when you try and better yourself ~

I've been here before as I became homeless during pregnancy...and before that after I fled my abusive first ex husband, if I can survive and endure without, before, I'm certain I can now, even if I get ill trying.

I don't want help if I'm going to be scrutinised and have to justify every little thing I do in my life to people who have no clue what it's like to manage a disability therefore can't accurately judge how I spend my money.

I regret asking for help yet again.

No one can ever help.

Maybe I'll lose some weight.

Meh.

S xo

Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷

~i give up on trying to get food help~

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This is my story.

This is my life.

This is my reality.

This is my voice.