Life with PTSD:
The real reason why anyone wrongs anyone:
Some people can't help themselves:
I accept that when people hurt others, or target me, they just can't help themselves, so you should too.
Blaming anyone for any trauma or abuse they've endured because you're upset at something they said (most likely taken the wrong way) is not at all how to handle any situation.
Some of us accept we're flawed and want to acknowledge any mistakes to make sure we're seen for the people we ACTUALLY are as opposed to whatever others want to assume we are.
I realised this morning I got triggered by something someone who believes I'd wronged them in some way, said.
I got triggered because when I was abused or wronged by others, I analysed and blamed myself for a long time, them saying I'm toxic and therefore deserved the sexual and physical abuse and the physical abuse in hospital is completely wrong and uncalled for.
I'm so sorry I have seemed to have upset you but I assure you it was unintentional and I don't appreciate you lashing out and blaming me for the sadists in the world.
I have PTSD.
I got triggered because I never defended myself, I was harmed by people I was supposed to be able to trust and those that harmed me aren't like me, they don't apologise, they don't want to understand or accept they're imperfect, and much much worse, some of them actually have sadistic tendencies and ENJOY when they're directly responsible for the suffering of others.
This is why I work so hard NOT to be like those who wronged me but the HARD TRUTH is that people DON'T CARE.
They run with whatever narrative FITS how they feel about you and they don't listen to understand.
I hope the person who said in different words, that I have deserved my PTSD and abuse, is pleased with emotionally harming another human being.
It hurts.
I don't lie.
It does hurt.
But... Because of all the work I've done on myself, despite this gentleman opening up a wound this morning, I accept that it WAS NOT my fault and that's why I can sleep at night and also why I go OUT OF MY WAY to help others and try and prevent OTHERS from going through what I have.
Life is hard for people like me.
I'm a loner and I've come to accept that, because others don't and can't and won't make room for me or attempt to understand me and that's life.
C'est la vie.
But remember, when you're upset you need to tackle the ISSUE AT HAND instead of being so keen to harm another human being, be it, emotionally or physically.
Some of us accept we'll never be understood and it's easier for others to think we have agendas because THEY think like that and they act like that, but it's NEVER anyone's fault when SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY (especially strangers) CHOOSE to be harmful to someone.
Never.
💯
To all my survivors and pain warriors, I SEE you and I send love and positive vibes and although it's easier said than done: Don't let others FALSE definitions of YOU ever make you FEEL like it was your FAULT!
IT WASN'T.
SOME people are just sadists and that's life. 🩷
Blog rant over.
S. xx
Kawaii Doll Decora 🩷✨
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