Why I'm not a narcissist:

 List at end of post:

I checked myself against this list and I can see why some people misunderstand me and take me the wrong way. I'm proud of all I do because I actually enjoy helping others. I'm confident because I finally learned other people's bad behaviours are nothing to do with me, even though I fight bad mental health days and can fall into the mindset that I must deserve bad treatment... I enjoy seeing other people win and make memories and I love to support others and network and promote fellow creatives because I have a strong admiration for human creativity and use art therapy to process complex emotions and trauma myself.

I have legitimately been a victim so I talk about it, why? To prevent it happening to others!!! To raise awareness! To speak UP about the bad that others choose to do and I never ever have any intentions of upsetting or harming anyone, ever. It's just not me.

I focus on improving myself and facing my fears and flaws and learning from them.

I'm happy to admit when I'm at fault and I'm the first to. I apologise heartfeltly and mean what I say.

I can get emotional and triggered like any other human being but I work very hard on emotional regulation and I can't change how others choose to see me but I can change myself and better myself and keep helping people.

I'm a loner because I'm often misunderstood and don't fit in and also because I'm wired differently I feel like people are really hard to communicate with at times, especially when most just seek any excuse to lash out instead of meditating and exploring their emotions.

I self analyse, over explain and overthink because people love to hate and jump on the bandwagon but no matter what I do or what I say haters will always hate and there's no changing that.

I accept I can lash out too and as soon as I notice that I've been emotionally triggered and I'm taking things out on someone I reign it in and I apologise, although this rarely happens because most of what I do is to just exist and help others in the world.

I just wanna leave the world a better place than I found it and if others want to misunderstand and use that as an excuse to be horrible then that's on them.

I own my actions and I'm just a truth seeker and sharer and sometimes the truth can hurt because people who others look up to can also be the same people that refuse to own their actions when they choose to harm people.

That's not slagging anyone off, if they wanted to be portrayed better they should have acted better.

I'm an advocate for positive change and that can and does make me a target for haters. Some people hate the truth as it contradicts the world they have built around them and the narratives they have told themselves.

Fake people hate me cause I see through them and see their agendas and who they really are and they hate that I don't kiss their arse or worship them like others do cause I can see through to the truth.

Hate me or love me, it doesn't matter.

I don't need validation although it is lovely when you find like minded people and finally feel 'seen' and 'understood'.

I accept that I'm an 'out of the box's, 'quirky' and 'different' type of individual and I'm fine with that.

I always research psychology and sociology and criminology etc (all the ologies) because not only do I want a better understanding of myself to be a better version of myself and help my peers the most I can, but I also want to understand the world around me as to attempt to try and fit in a bit better in a more amicable way.

Basically I seek adventures, peace, happiness and to support others.

So I am highly doubtful that I'm a narcissist although I accept even I, like others, can have learned narcissistic traits. I'm doing all I can to work on those and the people who deserve my kindness and respect are those who are capable of kindness and respect.

So if I'm defending myself or disrespecting someone please know it will be HIGHLY justified!! Period! 

S. xoxo

@KawaiiDollDecora ♡

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List:

As the word narcissist is becoming more, well know, some are claiming it’s been thrown around too much. Some research suggests one in five are on the spectrum of the disorder, others claim 0.5% to 1% have the disorder. meaning most of us will have unwittingly being involved with a narcissist at some point in our lives. This could be friends, work colleagues, parents, siblings, partners or bosses.

Someone can be confident, yet they are not a narcissist, someone can be successful, yet they are not narcissistic. Some people, when genuinely hurt by someone’s actions or words, can fall silent, yet they are not a narcissist. A narcissist uses the silent treatment as a form of mental torture to get others to doubt themselves, blame themselves and beg for forgiveness for something they didn’t even do.

There are nine characteristics of the narcissist personality disorder, and people need to have at least five of these to be on the disorder. Some narcissistic people are extremely good at hiding these; some are not, most can not hide them from their partners.

1. Arrogance And Domineering.

They have a proud and sometimes unpleasant manner of being proud of who they are and all that they do, they believe they are far better, and above all others, they believe their reality as fact. They believe they are always right even when faced with evidence proving otherwise. They have an exaggerated opinion of themselves, their abilities and their achievements.

Unjustly domineering of others, they have a strong tendency to take control over others without any thought to other people’s opinions or feelings. They expect unquestionable obedience from others. They will bully, intimidate, pressure, oppress, dictate, and terrorise others to bend the other person’s will and break down their boundaries. Through gaslighting, projection, blame-shifting, provoking and other manipulation tactics to take control over others.

2. Grandiosity.

Some vulnerable narcissists are less obvious as they don’t always act in a grand manner, yet most narcissistic people will play victim at some point to gain attention. Deep down, those who don’t show it and those who do show it feel within themselves far superior to all others. They believe their wisdom and talents are now above all others. Somatic will use their body’s. Cerebral will use their minds. They can all use both. They believe others are insignificant and will do their best to make others feel insecure around them. To emphasise to themselves that they are superior to all others.

3. Preoccupied With Success And Power.q

Not all successful people are narcissistic, and not all narcissistic people are successful. As they have high expectations, they never fail. If they do, that will always be someone else’s fault, or they’ll have a valid excuse as to why That didn’t happen for them. Again it’ll usually be someone else’s fault. They will lie or exaggerate any achievement and most often believe their own lies, making them all the more convincing.

4. A Lack Of Empathy For All Others.

This is the most dangerous characteristic trait of a narcissistic person, and this can be subtle and extremely hard to detect as they know how to act when needed. Their lack of empathy is because of low emotional intelligence, meaning they do not get what others feel. They are unable to put themselves in another’s shoes, have an inability to love and care for any other person truly, have no genuine remorse or guilt. They will go through the motions when getting married, having a baby, or the death of someone who’s supposedly close to them, yet this is all an act, they do not know this is abnormal as they can only see how others act so put a mask on, they can not feel what others feel, some later in life when they’ve pushed everyone away might realise they don’t feel the same that others do.

5. A Belief They Are Unique And Special.

They believe they are one of a kind, that they are special, and all others just don’t understand them. Thus making them believe others are inferior to them. Other people do not matter to them. They feel others don’t have the same things in common as them, often using other people’s passions as their own and passing them off as their own, which they can not keep up as it’s not who they indeed are.

6. Requires Excessive Admiration.

They need people’s attention, negative or positive, as they need to feel they are admired by other people. They want this either through love or through fear. They want respect, praise and appreciation from other people. They need this to fill up their profound hidden lack of self-esteem that most are not even aware of within themselves.

7. Exploitative.

They will use all situations and all people to meet a need of their own. They will take advantage of other people and situations by any means they can. They will take advantage of other people’s needs, wants and desires, and they’ll also use their weaknesses against them. They will unfairly and clinically use people to profit, gain, further their advantage or comfort themselves in one or more of these ways by being deceitful, underhand, calculated, selfish, illegal, ruthless, cruel. Cunning, sly, dishonest, crooked. They will step over all others to get their own needs met.

8. Envious and Jealous of others.

They have a deep feeling of resentment toward other peoples luck, qualities, achievements, or possessions. They are never happy with what they have and always want more. They often believe that all others are out to get them and believe others are jealous and envious of them.

9. A Sense Of Entitlement.

They believe they have the right to anything and everything that they want. They believe they deserve special treatment and privileges, often why they get angry when kept waiting or being ignored. They will use the silent treatment, rage and provoke others if they feel their entitlement has been criticised.

Taken from Elizabeth Shaw narcissistic abuse post.