The world changed for me as soon as I became disabled...
So I've been having a hard time as of late and have been on the receiving end of other people's emotional dysregulation and attitudes on top of several bad pain days.
So no, I don't care bout no haters. They only know hate so leave em to it. ✨
I'm all for the lovers and peaceful types and healing and regulating my own emotions from emotional trauma and triggers in life.
On top of navigating autism and painful disabilities on top. Most able bodied people wouldn't even be able to walk on a dislocated pelvis nevermind WITH Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility Syndrome so it's easy for them to tell me I'm not disabled based on their non-x-ray eyes, and that happens a LOT btw. TOO MUCH!
Other people sticking their nebs into my disability issues when it's none of their business and they don't even have any right TO comment and gawd help you if you defend yourself or walk away! Their flying monkeys come after you to top it off as icing on their cake, like an apology is SO hard lol. Guess it is for some. Guess they like the *good reputation* more than they like being actually kind and understanding!
Fair enough.
It's ok, I FORGIVE you, they should apologise but they won't and I'm good with that because their behaviour is their responsibility anyways and I only deal with what I deserve and it's not my fault people aren't patient anymore and like to make assumptions to fit their negative narrative's of you and then use that as an excuse to hate on you or mistreat you. Not my problem so people need to CHECK themselves instead of making problems in MY life. 💯
They get a shock when I refuse to be a verbal punching bag for them especially when I don't know them and no I'm not just talking about ONE incident, ever since I became disabled the WORLD changed for me. It's sad but it's true. People really have a lot hate to direct at the disabled because they don't have the capacity to understand the reality and prefer their delusional versions that we somehow are fleecing the system and we benefit from that. That's NOT even close to the truth!
Much worse than it already had been, and as a trauma survivor that's saying a LOT!
People say ableism isn't that bad but by gawd it's borderline abuse most of the time and actual abuse the rest of the time because people feel like they know best and unless they can see it they don't believe it and because they lack compassion and empathy they use their own judgement of you against you, even punish and harm you:
"She's faking"..."so I'm going to harm her because she needs teaching a lesson, wasting our time"
Hospitals are a torture chamber (not even an exaggeration) for disabled people and we don't deserve it.
I will continue raising awareness until some (town) citizens realise the errors of their ways and they really have no right to comment or be hostile or start shii with anyone they don't know. Period.
Thankfully most of my town is amazing! Amazing people and the kindness is just, inspiring! But the odd few people who choose to be unkind need to hold themselves accountable instead of hiding behind any good work they may do.
It's never necessary to be unkind. Ever. Especially NOT when someone is vulnerable and struggling!!
I'm sick of hate crimes and sick to death of ignorant strangers thinking they can TELL me how my life is when they would not last one second in my shoes.
Soz mate but you wouldn't like!
I've had to call the police twice in the past 2 years because of other people's FALSE perceptions of me and not going to lie it wasn't one woman's fault cause her mother did lie to her like and had that been my mother I'd have been fuming too but no it was the other way around and some of the neighbours still give me the evil eyes even though they were the ones that made it unsafe for a disabled lady who'd lived on the street since 2012.
Yea, give me all the bad looks in the world, it's not my fault they behaved badly and now can't actually see the error of their ways or hold themselves accountable. It's easy to hate on victims these days and victims become warriors for themselves because other people can't keep their gobs shut or their nebs out of things that doesn't even concern them.
Never did.
People can't bs me or gaslight me into thinking I'm the bad person cause I know I can make mistakes and I own my mistakes so no one can use them against me because I hold myself accountable and I fix things.
I'm not gonna bs people or be mean just cause some people prefer lies and narratives over facts and kindness.
I'm feeling a tad better today and I'm happy and working towards my goals still.
Just a quick blog to get some hurtful thoughts off my chest and using my voice helps me. No one gets to WRITE my story but ME and atleast I don't bs and face reality for how it is and what's thrown at me.
Stay strong.
It's ok to have bad days and bad pain days, sad days and no gain days, but never ever let it stop you from taking advantage of all the amazing things life has to offer and tbh, the things that make me happy can't really be bought anyways.
I love nature and trees and clouds and the sky and I don't care if people think I'm weird anymore, of course I'm weird, I'm different and quirky and don't think like others and ain't adamant on staying bitter, so I guess you're not part of my spirit tribe? Oh well. Lol.
Sending everyone with any invisible illnesses some extra love today and please make sure you are kind to yourself because it's NOT your fault you have to battle internally and you do an amazing job! 🩷🩷🩷
Keep it up.
Keep positive.
And live the life you love and love the life you live!
You only got one.
Make it a good one.
-S. xx 🩷🩷🩷
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