The power of NO:

The power of NO:

I'm so pleased I'm no longer around hot and cold people, mixed signals, lies, cheats or just icky souls. It destroys you from the inside outwards and you don't even realise just how much until you're free from the manipulative hold they have over you, constantly striving to prove your worth over and over again, letting your walls down, letting them in, they built you up to smash it all down, they were never sincere. Fake love and loyalty posts across social media as they played you, told people they were single, cheated on you, behind closed doors chose to harm you. Police being called, break ups, back together, one more chance, they can't lose you, and you let them back in to sink what was left of your ship.

You felt like an idiot.

I've tried so many times to get others to see my worth, chased them when they hurt me, apologised when they harmed me, tried to fix situations I didn't break and it broke me. I picked up the pieces and kept putting myself together just so they could come back with false promises and empty words and smash me all over again, I've had the bruises, the police logs, the tears and the pain, and I took all of that and eventually said NO.

No more.

I then took what was left of my life and pain and used it to help others, podcasts, advocacy, education to understand the travesty that had befell me.

I rejected everything insincere and uncertain about me, I ended up lonely and alone but I was safe.

I meditated.

Broke down plenty.

Sought support in places that were defined as safe spaces that just caused me more harm and I felt rejected, abandoned, like I was the problem. Like I deserved abuse. 

Then I sat with myself, all of me, my flaws and my own hypocrisy, and realised the truth, I had allowed them to lower me, take from me my light, my truth and my energy.

I had given chances to people who saw me as an opportunity as opposed to a human being, a tool they could use and they tried to brainwash and gaslight me but instead my soul burned, a hole in their facades and I woke up to their harm.

I stepped away and back from false support, fake people, awards are nothing if you're not genuine. I got trolled for helping, they got awards whilst they were harming, I realised if I wanted to change my fate I needed to change my heart, change me.

So I did.

I started using my voice to advocate for myself, I started saying no to people who weren't reciprocal, I stopped supporting those who didn't support me, and my life was lonely but peaceful.

This allowed me space to really hyper-fixate on my needs, my wants, I'd been building for others so long I hadn't even stopped to consider who I was, what I needed or wanted. I got selfish in all the right ways, started being kinder to myself, understanding, showed myself the love I had given away freely to others and I learned a lot.

I overcame.

I grew up, evolved and healed.

I stopped asking for support and started supporting myself.

That is when my life changed, and that is the power of NO. No more. Never again.

I started dreaming again and I have never looked back, only gained since then.

Sarah Wingfield ❤️