Authentic Community:

 Authentic community:

***

I'm not a nice person I'm a good one.

I have my own morals.

I defend myself.

I won't react to abuse or negativity with smiles and peaches.

I can have claws too although I prefer to avoid those who awaken them within me.

Antagonists and baiters, haters and sadists.

If that's enough to make me a villain then so be it.

But next time you get upset at the way the world is, remember how you treat people trying to make it a better one, 

when you're left without access to something or help, remember those of us who advocate for such and don't stop even in the midst of hate.

When you choose to hate a person, remember whose set YOU UP TO, and think about why you're allowing yourself to be puppeteered!

Some of us don't need validation, we use social media as a tool to raise awareness and promotion, to help action positive change and we don't have the luxuries others do, we live life in agony and pain and therefore don't want others to ever have to live this way.

We never recruit hate, we seek resolution and apologies and holding people accountable for their behaviours/actions. Not that we get them and instead we receive puppets of hate on the person who behaved poorly's behalf. You're not helping by justifying their poor behaviour, no amount of nice things they do can change how they acted or behaved and accountability is everything.

We focus on supporting others and helping others not creating problems or drama for others.

Next time you hate someone (because a friend/relative manipulated you to) or because of what you have heard, maybe instead channel that hate into actioning positive change instead. 

Whether you redirect it towards a cause or even use it for yourself to push yourself towards goals you want to achieve, it doesn't matter as long as you don't use it to make things worse. Period.

So the next time you hate how the world is, you'll be brave enough to be the exact sort of person you want to see MORE of in the world.

If you're not providing resolution or actioning anything positive, not helping anyone or offering anything contributory, then ask yourself, what exactly IS IT you're doing and most importantly... why?!

You'll be surprised how people you are close to don't play fair as long as you do what they need you to.

Stop letting them manipulate you into hate and recruiting you into battles they aren't brave enough to tell you the facts on, because lying to recruit hate campaigns is far easier than holding oneself accountable, and they don't ever want you to see them for who they really are and how they use you.

They'd lose you as puppet and you're far more valuable of a tool of hate for them to. You help condone their abuse and poor behaviour, you validate it. They need that so they can continue to get away with being malicious when they feel like it, and they only do good to hide behind. 

It's about time our community came together against ANY and ALL poor behaviour, irregardless of whom is behind it and irregardless of what they choose to do at other times.

We can't be an authentic community without adhering to what we're 'supposed' to stand for and it's about time some people and some charities were reminded of that.

Be what you're CLAIMING to be, and things will be so much easier, but I guess people will always prefer to silence victims and spread hate and discredit than face the fact they AREN'T who they claim to be, most likely never were either. 

If I blog something, it's because it happened. Whether I wanted it to or not. If I made a mistake or behaved badly myself I state such and what I'm doing to change that. However how someone reacts to abuse/bad behaviour isn't the issue, it's the fact abuse/bad behaviour happened in the first place, but it's easier to hate someone for their poor reaction than resolve the actual problem, especially when the 'problem' was someone who is seen to have status in society.

Status means nothing to me. You're a person like everyone else and if you behave abysmally or make things worse for others, then shame on you, period. Doesn't matter who it was directed to, accountability is everything.

It's to prevent others suffering like I did and if I can't prevent something from re-occuring then atleast I don't leave people to have to go through the same things alone, like I did. I will help them through it and if I can't help I'll forward them to places and people who can.

You want change? Real change? Then you need to BE the change and let the rumour mills be the poison they only know how to be.

You continue irregardless of the fact that bad actions are defended and good people like you are targeted. 

You smile and continue.

Haters are never ever going to be able to stop authentic people. 

Never have and never will and people like me will always own our mistakes, clarify when necessary, speak up honestly and address the bad behaviours others are all too keen to brush under the carpet and pretend never happened.

Every award those people achieve since being a lie or choosing abuse and getting people to bully the victim so they can play pretend at being good people, is an award tainted with their negative behaviour and the fact they failed people, by choice. BY CHOICE!

Only the universe and karma will be the real judges and no award you win and no amount of recruiting flying monkeys will ever change how you chose to be abusive or harmful or fail people in your community.

The victims have to live with that and so do you even though you prefer to push it to the back of your mind and pretend you're actually a good person. You're not. Good people resolve issues, they hold themselves accountable, they fix mistakes and they never go out of their way to be deliberately, on purpose, harmful to others; especially using charity/good deeds/free promotions as an excuse to not apologise or fix things. You failed them and you know it and you could have changed it but you chose not to. Period.

There's a few people that won't hold themselves accountable for bad behaviour and their awards will forever be tainted because they didn't have the basic human decency to hold themselves accountable or fix things.

Hate the messenger all you want, I've been a blogger since 2008/2009, but more people get harmed before and after I address these things, because behaviour has a pattern and always will. I can only raise awareness and stand up and be brave enough to say NO to abusive behaviour or bad behaviour. I can only highlight the facts as they happened and let others make their own minds up. I don't have time for hate campaigns, I feel sorry for those who misdefine my blogging as such too because it shows they judge the world on how their lens sees it, usually from what they'd have intended with similar posts, so if they're labelling it as a hate campaign to justify hate campaigns of their own then they're only projecting how they are onto others because they can't understand some of us simply want people to be treated BETTER. I won't apologise for protecting my town or the people in it and I'll take all the hate thrown my way because you should be better than that.

Make sure you're on the right side of any fence when you choose your battles and make sure you're not condoning bad behaviour because you too, are responsible for what you put out into the world.

Love me, hate me, none of it matters because I don't exist for either, I exist so people don't have to go through things alone and to fight the battles others are too scared to.

I will always action positive change and I change the world in many ways and work for different charities. I'm constantly educating myself to be a better advocate and charity worker and I'm proud of all I've achieved and will achieve. 

Actions will forever speak louder than words.

Remember the bigger pictures, some of us are trying to fight the government and are activists for positive change for all, we don't have time to deal with petty wars created by sad individuals who find comfort in lying to themselves and we will always continue without the support of organisations or charities that let us down. It's your JOB as a charity to be CHARITABLE, when you fail at that people deserve your kindness and compassion, your accountability and resolution, they NEVER deserve hate or abuse, or to be belittled in favour of free promotions over how how disabled people are treated. 

"It's ok to be horrible and treat disabled people badly aslong as they print about our disabled charity for free, go on, shout at as many disabled townsfolk you want to we will only thank you for promoting us on their posts speaking up about their mistreatment and respond to their suffering negatively and invalidate and undermine them, as long as we get promoted right?!"

"We're allowed to lock people outside without food parcels because we're incapable of kindness and decent communication, we will make sure the police never get the CCTV and we will secretly mistreat various others badly so only the mental health departments will find out because we will harass and abuse anyone who dares try and 'tell on us', thanks for another award we're the best charity and we can get away with abuse whenever we feel like it, yay"

Safeguarding children courses and legislation taught me a lot over the last six months. No one can gaslight me into believing that behaviour like that is ever ok. It's not.

It's made me revisit some of the poor experiences I've had over the last three years, and funnily enough out of MILLIONS OF POSITIVE EXPERIENCES and encountering decent charities, there have still to date, only been three that approved abuse/harmful behaviour over resolution, and yes I have the experiences and evidence otherwise I wouldn't be saying it.

Junction 7

All Disabilities Matter

Newton Press 

Knowing about the law and legislation I know now after months of extensive sacrifices and education, I'm saddened at all that my beloved hometown put me through for speaking up against poor behaviour, and I will take it (all the hate, trolls and abuse) for everyone else who has to endure the same but aren't a blogger like me so can't speak up and out, is scared to speak up and out, for everyone else who is belittled, invalidated, bullied, hated on, and thrown under buses because the charities or professionals don't want to, or care enough to, address how they chose to harm instead of help. 

No harm can be overlooked. Disability or not. Everyone in this town matters and if you can't stand by your charities values then that's ON you. You let one of us down, you're letting all of us down and none of the above were isolated incidents however I maintain confidentiality.

It could have been YOU in my, or any one of the other victims shoes. It could have been YOU. 🫵🏻

Only those three on the town are the ones I avoid, as factually and literally listed, because when it mattered they didn't uphold their values, they threw people under the bus when it suited their needs and taught me that I and other disabled people or people of the town don't matter unless they can benefit from you and use you and I will forever be GLAD to avoid those. 

Fake never was my colour anyway baby.

I'm glad I didn't hold my breath for an apology, I'd be dead now.

Stay true to you and facts will always outweigh facades and lies and people wanting to hide how harmful they really are and how they don't care about others on the town like they claim to.

I'm making waves now with other organisations, ones that pride themselves on actively and actually helping others, and am I saddened I couldn't be promoting or working with those three on my town? 

Yes, of course I am, because my town matters to me but I'm not someone who will ever abandon my values or morals or throw anyone under any buses for promotion or anything else. I will not support any organisations that are harmful, or don't uphold their charities values. Ever.

Their loss.

They had a multitude of opportunities, ample amounts of chances, to fix things and own their mistakes, they preferred to cause harm and that's never okay. 

So I will forever be brave enough to speak up about damaging behaviour and I'm even more knowledgeable on laws, legislation and safeguarding now, have the courses behind me and certification to prove it too. 

Thanks for the push, bad will always lead to good and I now know who to help and who I need to avoid. I don't need promotion to be a good person and have values, never did and never will, I only need it to raise awareness and help others which is what I will always continue to do no matter how people want to 'paint' me.

As stressful as it is to run a community group and be blamed for multiple things beyond my control, I still run the community Facebook group, because community is important to me no matter what side of any fence anyone is on and my town deserves a safe space for thoughtful communication or a place that allows people to hash things out and resolve things when they go wrong; as in life it often does.

How it's resolved is ALL that counts at the end of the day.

None of those that chose hate and trolling ever got to know me anyway. So they know as much as any stranger can. Which is practically nothing. Empty words and fake narratives that they use and abuse to excuse their profanities and abusive natures. Their actions tell me everything about them and nothing about me other than I must be doing something right if I am being targeted to be bullied into not blogging, or sharing my and others bad experiences. 

They behaved that way and I can't change it anymore than you can but I won't sit back and tolerate it when it's unnecessary, nor will I sit back and be a target for people either. 

You don't like me? Cool, avoid me then like I do with those that are harmful and I don't like the behaviour of too. 

I rarely dislike people, just their actions sometimes, I'm wired differently and I have to live with that too. If there's no resolution when someone has been harmed then that's their fault too. Period. Not the person that got harmed.

Stay true to you no matter how the world is and you can make great things happen. Even in the face of adversity, even in the face of bullies and hate, they change nothing if you're authentic.

They may try and gaslight you, hate on you, silence you, distract you from your goals but I send them nothing but love, hope they heal and did everything I could to resolve things on my side. A person simply can't do more than that and keep focused on your goals, they can't stop you being you.

Here's to the many places on the town that are authentic and do our town justice! ❤️ Those are what need to be focused on and worked with more, those are worthy of support because they're genuinely there for the town and to make positive differences.

Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹 

Independent Disability Advocate.

Charity worker. Activist. 💪🏻❤️ +More.

#blog #wakeup #actionpositivechange #atleastbeWHOyouclaim #peoplematter #community #positivechange