Keeping moving:

Everyday offers something different, haters are exhausting so I take social media breaks these days. Seems everyone has something to say about everything without actually having any knowledge on the things they talk about.

When did the world get like this...?

I keep moving regardless, finding my light, finding my spirit tribe and hustling like mad to survive in a world with too many obstacles.

Too many loopholes that we fall between the cracks of.

Some of us can't do what others do so we make do.

I'm hated for the right reasons, for standing my ground, for never losing sight of my morals, for pointing out hypocrisy, for stating facts and the truth, for speaking up for myself and others and for fighting for fairness for all and actioning positive change.

I can live with that.

If I'm not for someone, that's cool.

What's not cool is when people are incapable of staying in their own lanes, have to take sides, never remain impartial, never acknowledge the harm they cause, hate for hating's sake etc.

But that's their issue, not mine.

I keep going, I never know what life is going to throw at me and I never know what obstacles I have to overcome and fight but I break whatever is thrown at me and I pave my path in my own life journey.

I've reached over 3 thousand streams on SoundCloud as the music artist KDoll and that's super exciting.

I have a film set to attend at the end of this month and I'm excited about that and I'm constantly gathering stories and perspectives for my eradication of ableism book about dynamic disabilities and invisible illnesses.

Changing the world is hard work but if you set goals you can break things down and you can achieve whatever you put your mind towards.

I like my little lane.

I'm building a life I can actually be proud of and sleep at night knowing I did right by everyone, and I stuck to my morals and have a loyalty to honesty.

Being authentic is hard work, people don't like the truth but all my work is important and people like to judge and focus on the aspects of your life they can belittle, which is sad for them I guess, as they overlook all the positive change you've actioned and all the people you've helped.

Who've they helped? Keen to judge and hate and segregate without uplifting unless they benefit from it.

Hidden agendas, ego's, blame, it's all an excuse so they deflect from their own issues and flaws and never have to sit with themselves or address the fact they've been a problem.

I fix me when I'm the problem and I'm rarely one so that's something that can be said.

I've been editing memes and promoting my KDoll page and music and I'm not afraid to do my best and embrace the journey life has placed me on.

I listen to the universe and that is my guide. Not materialisms or pride, I seek to change things, make things better, easier for people.

Life's hard enough without people adding to the struggles and from what I see online and in reality people are all too keen to be a problem and add to a problem instead of working together to resolve it.

It takes strength to sit with yourself and acknowledge your flaws, hold a mirror up to them and face them head on and decide not to be the person the world made you into and decide to shape yourself entirely differently.

Speaking of there's a song I need to record at some point:

Plasticine -K•Doll

(Song lyrics)

Make me out of Plasticine

Sculpt me how you want me to be

Put me with the other clones

So I can be your make belief

Reals better than fantasy

With no imagination comes jealousy

As you think you own me like property

But you're missing the hidden key

Let me unblind those eyes

Let me unbrainwash those Lies

Let me in as the real me

You'll prefer reality

But you're too blind to see

Your lust for control can't shape me

So you make other versions of me

That mimic and live in my memory

Make me out of Plasticine

Sculpt me how you want me to be

Put me with the other clones

So I can be your make belief

Reals better than fantasy

With no imagination comes jealousy

As you think you own me like property

But you're missing the hidden key

I'll make me out of Plasticine

But I'll show you what it really means

To be someone behind the scenes

Not following suit, just following dreams

As everyone else falls apart

I made me tough from the start

My image may not be as beautiful art

But I'm not that easy to be broken apart

If I'm by your side you're my world

You don't need a dummy as a girl

You need an equal, you need a queen

To rule by you and let you be seen.

So let me make me out of Plasticine

The good the bad and the inbetween

I'll send you some so you can build you

Be the person you are, and will be too.

Let our selves be real, not copies or clones

So we can never be discarded or be truly alone

Because we bring more than just our 'shell'

We don't need to justify a show and tell

We live in reality, the real hell

Where everyones distracted by the fake that they sell.

Make me out of Plasticine

Sculpt me how you want me to be

Put me with the other clones

So I can be your make belief

Reals better than fantasy

With no imagination comes jealousy

As you think you own me like property

But you're missing the hidden key

Let me unlock the door to your mind.

You'll be surprised at the hidden, you'll find.

00:03hrs Mon 19th Apr 21

Vocals/Lyrics by K•Doll

@KawaiiDollDecora

I'm glad I'm untameable, a wild soul, someone who isn't afraid to question everything and think for herself.

I make me.

And I'm proud of the me I've become.

I'm proud of all I've endured and survived and I'm proud that I uplift and thrive instead of enjoy others demise; I never became like those who hurt me and that in itself is my trophy.

I am my own trophy.

I've gathered skills and education for thirty years and gathered perspectives and actioned positive change, I've prevented women from ending up in wheelchairs and been an ear of comfort for those who've felt abandoned by the system and society.

I use my voice to raise awareness of their and my story.

We have plenty to say about how the world has treated us, or mistreated us, and how we are still capable of being grateful and appreciative and our humanity hasn't been stolen.

We are not empty shells.

Our voices matter.

Even when they fall on deaf ears.

I've come to accept that I won't always be understood and not everyone is capable of taking the time to try, again that is not my issue to resolve, that's theirs.

I'm underestimated, undervalued, my skill set overlooked, and I continue regardless, with chronic pain and disabilities, I pace myself regardless.

I move forward with the determination of a thousand lions and my rawr can be as bold and loud.

I will be heard.

I will stand my ground, for my foundation is made from concrete, sweat, tears, pain and sacrifice.

I've lost so much and had to rebuild several times, and yet I've not lost my empathy or compassion or drive.

I keep moving and it's really that simple.

No matter what is thrown my way, I keep it moving.

Some people define me as crazy, I'll take it. At least I'm not puppeteered and manipulated and can see through many a facade others can't.

I'm proud of my intuition. I'm proud of never quitting.

I'm now an established author, actress, music artist and more.

I would never have got this far if I stayed silent and buried, allowed those who were supposed to love me pull me down.

My marriage was a farce, he stopped loving me a long time ago and when I got back into music he took the mickey and turned me and all I am into a joke, and yet one of the songs from 2021 he hated on is liked by many of those close to me.

I've learned that I deserved someone who was capable of supporting me.

I feel like I've found that in my current partner and I don't want to speak too soon as I've been played for a fool-a-plenty, but for the first time in my life, I actually feel supported, acknowledged, loved.

I don't have to water myself down or mask or anything, I'm free to be as dorky, daft or weird as I want to be.

It's new to me but it is wonderful.

My loved ones love me for me.

They make me feel worthy, and I'm actually finally happy.

Life is still hard and I struggle to find work, but I don't care as much because I've found my spirit tribe and the fair few people who celebrate and cherish me.

That's enough for me, it is more than I ever could have dreamed for me.

I'm actually, happy.

I'm embracing me.

I'm celebrating me.

It's new and unusual but freeing.

I'm no longer chasing and I'm attracting and it's a beautiful new era for me.

Haters are always going to exist and always going to be around people who shine brightly, but instead of them bothering me, I pity them.

I'm sad for them and their bitter shells.

I've grown, evolved and re-moulded myself many times into the version I am now and I'm resilient, hard working, dedicated, driven and proud of me.

Let people judge what they can never understand, my music is for those of us that never fitted into this world, but I'm starting to see that as a good thing, a beautiful thing.

I'm forever learning and evolving and it's beautiful.

I'm keeping moving and I hope I inspire others to.

Through the good, the bad and the in-between, our worth never changed, we just listened to the wrong souls and surrounded ourselves with the wrong souls, but it's okay.

We know now.

It's time for OUR story to unfold...

Sarah Wingfield 🌹 xx