PGP / SPD My story:

I go to collect my car today and I'm really excited. I got news about the movie I'm going to be in too and I can't wait to start filming for that now too. I've had some downs amongst the ups which is unfortunately normal for my little rollercoaster life, but I'm rolling with the punches and will pick myself back up and focus on what I am responsible for and what I can change. I can't change others, only myself. Everything is a lesson in life and I have been very upset this morning with a couple of downs that happened and on top of that my ex sent something here which I opened by accident as I'm waiting for a smartwatch I bought off Vinted to arrive before Nov 1st, ugh. I've sealed it back up and I'm sending it back to the sender 'Not at this address'. My ex committed serious crimes whilst we were together and I have police involvement so I don't want any contact with him ever again, I'm processing the damage and healing from the traum...

Invalidation is pretty common. Just hear people out first, then say whatever BS you want to say to downplay what's happened to them or find excuses for the reasons the person did what happened. (None of which even matters because they still did what they did and the person it happened to still feels how they feel.) People can agree to disagree, no issues there, but just hear people out first. Acknowledge them and maybe (just maybe try) support them as they're upset at the time, have some compassion and be patient because how YOU feel about a situation someone else endured doesn't matter, how YOU feel about what the person did or what they may have not intended or intended does NOT matter; support is always preferable instead of downplaying what happened. I am valid even when you invalidate me. It's pretty simple but to some people, wanting to say my side (which helps process it too for neurospicy brains), and deal with *less* downplaying and invalidating of myself makes...

I updated my website today: Magnolia Photography UK What is Magnolia Photography UK? Sarah Wingfield started Magnolia Photography UK in 2008 from her home in Newton Aycliffe.  Immediately her artistic eye and attention to detail intrigued many a customer and she offered a range of photographic services that covered child photography, wedding photography, modelling, nature photography and more. She was inspired to start the business after studying at college and working as a model in the alternative fashion and catalogue industries.  She is internationally published. She started off as a model for band merchandise and blew up as a MySpace influencer from there. Suddenly she was VIP guest listed to various concerts and events including events in Newcastle and after modelling she wanted to be behind the camera more than in front of it. Magnolia Photography UK was born. She started off amazingly well but was befallen with complications during her pregnancy and was diagnosed with d...

You say "excuse me" you don't put your hand on the back of a woman's head/neck and increase pressure to shove them forward. *Mortified* I'm disabled with chronic pain and could do without that happening to me. This isn't the place to address it so I have emailed the council clerk. I'm also autistic so not okay. I don't believe it was done with malice but still not okay, I've sent a polite email about it and hope that it is resolved and doesn't happen again.  Hopefully I will receive an apology and it won't happen again. Other than that unfortunate experience, I had a really good night and was pleased to have been able to attend the council meeting tonight, as my disability has prevented me from going to about three, previously. I also get my Motability Car tomorrow so I'm beyond excited. My life changes forever tomorrow. 🚗 New chapter. Sarah x

I've been going through my emails to catch up and make sure I've not missed any out and I've had the most amazing one from Bishop Auckland's Christmas Town. As an independent disability advocate I had some concerns from last year and simply wanted to speak with someone to see if we could problem solve and resolve any issues regarding accessibility, I'm pleased to say that this year they've thought about accessibility thoroughly and as a result a lot of the event will be taking place indoors, there is extra seating available, it's put on over a longer period of time to help reduce overcrowding, they're implementing a fast track queue for the carousel and Ferris wheel and will be publishing further accessibility information on their website in the next week or so. I will always be proud of my local area and how our community works together to be inclusive and supportive. So a huge thank you to Bishop Auckland's Christmas Town and for their swift an...

  I got two free tickets from my awesome bro Percy Bones for Bradford end of November! Whoop whoop fam 💥 so I'll be heading out that way for the very first ever ** BONES FEST! ** It's gonna be epic! Going to get lots of footage and it'll be featured on my Tiktok and YouTube so keep an eye out! Booked everything and looking into kennels for my dog right now, just waiting to hear back from one from my hometown and to see availability and cost. Also waiting to hear back about driving lessons so everything is moving in the right direction despite the hectic morning I just had. Lol. I feel like life tests me more than most but I'm dealing with things as best as I can and I keep going and won't quit! Getting ready for Reloaded 3 and Diamond Dogs movies too and George Tounas just won an award for Reloaded 2! So congratulations to the talented award winning actor and filmmaker I'm excited to be working with soon! Got some amazing projects in the works and plenty to loo...

 Oof what a hectic morning, a mate left gate open and dog got out and I just had an autistic meltdown, sat in tears rn but all ok now...  Sometimes things are just too much.  Calming myself down now and just constantly working hard and trying to do the right thing by everyone and I just don't feel like people realise it at times... Once I get my car I'll be able to get back on top of dog training too.  Just wish people realised I tolerate a lot from others and stay to myself and I do my best not to bother others too.  I'm not perfect but I do my best. 🥹 #overwhelmed

  What does 'Freedom' mean to you? 🩷🩷🩷 ~Awaken~ You need to do more than open your eyes To see the sadness underneath the smiles The fears behind the tears and the pain outside the frame. Not everything is as it seems There's even meanings to your dreams Things are hidden in Plain sight Two people contradicting can both be right. There's a bigger picture infront of you Just out of reach for you to look through So take a step back from this mistake Close your eyes and truly awake Open your soul up to the possibilities That you don't see what the others see That each of you have a piece of the puzzle Work together and solve the struggle In this world you get but one life So make sure you experience all that is nice The bad makes you grateful for the good Live with no regrets do all you could Do all you should Do all you would Be the blossom, be the bud Instead of the thorns and the mud. Awaken, Awaken, Awaken my dear Open your mind, let go of your fear Awaken Awake...

Finally got the call that my car is ready to collect. Finally getting it on Halloween 🎃 and I couldn't be more excited and nervous at the next stage of upgrading my life! Still working towards my theory test, and I'll be able to sit in it and familiarise myself with everything soon. Need to get seat protection and a car clip for my dog for when he goes in the car. Eventually I'll even be able to take my own dog to the vets! My dad asked where I'm planning on going in it and I'd love to go to the metro centre ahaha and the beach with Bud. I haven't actually decided yet but eventually I can get a passport and travel further. I'll also be able to get on location for any future filming projects. I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm sat here achy and hurting from getting buses yesterday and sitting in the cold seeing venom, the last dance at the cinema and I'm still smiling because working hard towards all my goals is paying off. Wish I had the en...

Well here I am and practicing gratitude today! Low moods have been triggered by cold weather and bad pain so I'm going into overdrive with sharing and appreciating everything I've achieved recently. Basically kicking my own butt with good vibes, so here goes. I'm grateful for my family, friends and son. First and foremost, people that know us know he survived leukaemia and he's a thriving and healthy young man! The best creation I've ever created! My friends who cheer me up and we have fun together, being daft and free and reminiscing about the past. I'm grateful for my progress with charity and community work and working with children in the care system which is my next step and I'm excited for it. I'm grateful for the Motability scheme and the fact I've been able to get a car lease and I'm going to be so more independent and in so much less pain now I won't be waiting for buses and dealing with painful, agonising, seizing ups! I'm grate...

How lovely: If you're doing an ongoing course with Bishop College you're not welcome to be a part of their educational groups and they don't want you there but instead of saying that they pretend that your ongoing course is up or ended to justify removing 'just you' and no one else whose also doing ongoing courses; and why? ...because you spiked an interest in their events. Ya can't make it up! Highly offended right now. Basically a Feck off from the college to moi. Also no clarification whatsoever on what was supposed to be misinformation and why this bloke overstepped the professional boundaries anyway by demanding things of me without justifiable explanation, when I was doing the college a favour anyway by sharing courses and trying to get people on the policing course. Guess another feck you for that too, cheers. 🥂  Seems like a bag of bairns running an educational facility and the head investigator is incapable of investigating anything. So basically ......

So I finally got cast for one of the movies I am involved in and I'm proud to say I'll be playing Beatrice Elite an influencer for Diamond Dogs comedy heist movie. I'm excited for this character and can't wait to get the script!! Sarah x

 So maybe I need to sleep in more and not do anything at all on Tuesdays because I seized up again and need to rest today and I've not been able to get to the council meeting. I go to gather useful information for my town and to help others, and if I can't help atleast I can direct them to those who can but atleast I don't have to wait too much longer before I'll have a car! As soon as I learn to drive etc it's gonna come in handy on days I'm stiffer and can't walk as far. I'll be able to take myself directly there and back. The cold is a nightmare and it's a huge obstacle I need to work around. Hopefully I'll see my best friend tomorrow and I need to get plenty of rest to go see Venom in the cinema on Friday. Think I'm starting a bout of pain flare ups though which aren't fun and I'm run down, just need to get through these the best I can and keep studying for my theory and atleast I can chill and play Xbox whenever I want to now too...

I've been told I don't meet the criteria for breakthrough and it's wrong so I had to put them right today and will be sending photos over of my situation and clutter today to confirm I am legitimately and factually in need of their help and the scale they have has to allow people in my situation to be helped due to the seriousness of the situation and I can't see me not meeting the scale of necessary demand. It's concerning as an independent disability advocate to hear they claimed I didn't meet the criteria when it's obvious I do unless they're failing disabled individuals nationwide by having such a discriminatory and weak scale. People in my situation with my evidence have to be helped otherwise there's no point in having services that only help absolute extreme hoarders, my home is bad enough to have warranted fire services and my housing association to be involved and due to my disabilities I am doing everything I can to remedy the issues albeit...

Learning about yourself and how you're wired differently and gaining understanding is important, with or without a diagnosis, if you study the spectrum and identify with aspects of it then you're already definitely wired differently and that's just life. We can wait for a diagnosis, I mean, we have to don't we ahaha. But learning about autism and doing an understanding autism level 2 course was an eye opener for the things that I do that was mislabelled 'quirks' or 'quirky'. There's something freeing in finding out that there is NOTHING wrong with you, you're just different. It can be empowering. Freeing. It leads to self acceptance and if you don't relate and don't have any autistic traits atleast by doing the course you're educating yourself about those around you who do. Those who are autistic. It's a win/win. Get that knowledge, it changes lives. Sarah  Independent disability advocate 

Following my struggles with EE previously they have done me the courtesy of giving me 10% off my bill and they have shown they do care about my custom. This was a pleasant surprise today and I'm truly grateful. #EE #appreciation #resolved

 Omg I'm so happy to say I'm in the 50 thousands on IMDb!!!! ❤️😆 Woohoo! Thank you to everyone who supports my endeavours! You rock! 🤘🏻✨ 56,246! The highest rating I've had, yet! 🌹🌹🌹 Sarah x

 Having RSD almost makes you unforgiving to those who have caused you emotional pain especially beyond your limits. Betrayal can be deeply painful for anyone, but for someone with ADHD and RSD, it can feel like an overwhelming, unforgivable emotional wound. The combination of emotional sensitivity, fear of rejection, difficulty regulating emotions, and cognitive distortions like all-or-nothing thinking make betrayal feel like a personal attack on their self-worth. The path to forgiveness is the hardest challenge for someone with ADHD RSD and here is the reason why.  Memory and emotion are closely linked in the brain. The amygdala, which processes emotions, and the hippocampus, responsible for long-term memory, are highly interconnected. This means that emotional experiences, especially intense ones, are more likely to be stored as long-term memories and recalled with vividness later. In someone with a poor memory, the emotional aspect of an experience may remain intact even wh...

 #disabilityawareness #disabilityrights #disabilityinclusion  Why what I do is important work and disabled people matter too:

I contacted Bridge Creative via their website weeks ago to discuss accessibility issues regarding the upcoming Christmas town event and I'm very disheartened that no one has even bothered to contact me back about it. Posted this online today so I'm hoping someone at Baccanalia atleast cares enough about disabilities to get in touch with me if Bridge Creative aren't. I can't help advocate and make things better if I'm ignored. Sarah Let's hope someone contacts me from Bridge Creative otherwise I'll have to try and phone bridge creative so they can't ignore me unless I can sort accessibility with Baccanalia as they've never let me down previously with contacting etc. Accessibility matters! ♿

Update: https://pgpandspd.blogspot.com/2024/10/ee-have-resolved-issues.html They have resolved the issues and been ever so kind as to offer 10% off. --- Original post: (Not the representatives fault, he was a star, this was out of his control) I'm so gutted with EE man, can't believe they're the best network... They've let me down several times and they can't do anything to help me. They've benefited off me twice now and I've been penalised for them not meeting the legal terms of an agreed contract. May file a claim for compensation via the court if they don't take me seriously because they have failed to adhere to their legal agreements twice and I feel like I don't matter as a customer anymore. I should be excited about my new phone contract but now I feel like I'm just a cash cow to them. I signed up to EE WiFi for £15 told I'd get a discount off my phone contract and I never did, they've done it via BT not EE and now EE will only ...

 Couldn't sleep so doing theory test practice, just booked the first slot they had available to sit my theory test which is the 11th February 2025 in Bishop. So I've got plenty of time to get these questions fine-tuned ahaha. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm so happy and excited! £23 ahaha. The four months will fly over! ❤️❤️❤️

Woke up with a pain flare after bad dreams...  I'm having a 🛁 bath and some me time. Bad days happen but they don't have to ruin the whole day. I've processed and faced all the trauma that was brought up in my mind, acknowledged how painful it is and I won't swim in it, I will let it go, wash over me, meditation and self-kindness is necessary. So speak soon, when I'm rejuvenated and more positive, this cold weather doesn't help either but I'm taking some me time to uplift myself so I can continue to uplift others and do the work that I do. I have a charity video project to create and the council meeting this afternoon. I will no longer let my past prevent me from living in my present or dictate to me my future. I've sat with the pain, time to focus on things I can change. Sarah x

Skinwalker: You're angry and worried about her that's normal Someone showed you what he shared recently And there was a time that he love bombed you the same too There was a time he pretended to be the good guy Had you look in the mirror and make you face how beautiful you are ..until he got his foot in the door The compliments faded He spoke and shared intimacy with many girls behind your back The abuse crept in His idea of love is harmful and to attack His facade started to crack You are angry and scared Has he harmed her yet Told her anything negative How many has he slept with behind her back Whilst she's so stupid to think he's sensitive You know it won't last Behavioural patterns before you prove that Yet he talks about marriage to her This early on again He keeps his cover picture the one you made of him Because you're the one that got away You never settled for abuse You told him he can't stay So he latched onto another vulne...

I started the day off by signing a lease on a Motability car, my parents took me to some dealerships and I found a perfect little car for my needs. This is such a huge milestone, I am so excited I can't believe it! I just need to learn to drive now. I went for a drive out with a female friend, me being the passenger of course ahaha yet not for too much longer, and we had a really lovely day together and stopped and had a meal before we returned home. I then attended a local support group known as sisters of support and everyone was wonderful and welcoming and I feel like I could help a lot there too as well as find people who, like me, haven't really had much of a sisterhood or friends growing up. I felt like they offered a safe space for people who are, a little different like me lol, I kinda don't fit in any boxes and yet they were so wonderful and it was a pleasure to be a part of such an amazing group of unique and inspiring individuals, each and every one, in their own...

I had to update my community Facebook group's boundaries today because some people think that uncensored means you should be FORCED to tolerate abuse and I simply disagree. Asking people to own their actions and be responsible for themselves online is far too much since the online world has taught people they can be such monsters here. I updated the information to give people a choice, so if the groups not for some people then they can see that it's not for them and that's okay, they can leave instead of bringing their negativity into a group that's about actioning positive change. It's hard when you update and uphold boundaries, people get upset that they can't behave the way they did before, but that's their valid feelings about it and if the group is going to do what I need it to do I need to make sure it's abuse free from NOW. If I can't get people to behave themselves then they give us no choice but to enforce rules to make sure only those who c...

Inside the mind of a neurospicy: I used to be so hard on myself, just did not understand why I couldn't simply DO something, why I froze in place waiting for people to visit for appointments and not able to function or focus on things that needed to be done prior to the appointment. Now I understand executive dysfunction better, I understand how I can be viewed negatively and misconstrued and I remember that it's only my responsibility to clarify myself and it's not my responsibility to deal with negativity or hostility others choose to put my way instead of talking things through. People will misjudge you and instead of being sincere and clearing up the misjudgement they will use that as an opportunity or an excuse to be negative themselves. That's their choice and their actions and wrong of them but nothing whatsoever to do with you. Let them think you're the villain, most people in modern day society are incapable of looking at their own actions, holding accounta...

 Life's hard People can be headaches  Negativity solves nothing  Aslong as you love yourself enough to know only your actions matter, then all will be well ❤️‍🩹  You are only responsible for you You cannot carry the perspectives or opinions or judgements of others You cannot change others You can change how you react to them and fix it when you react poorly You are the key to your own happiness. ❤️✨ Sarah x Image reads: "Love yourself so deep that anyone trying to play with you gets lost in the current."

Managing community groups are very hard when people choose to go out of their way to choose negativity and recruit 'pack animal' mentalities as opposed to actually resolve things. I tried to create a thread for discussions and was clear that it was NOT a post TO vent or be negative, however people were all too keen to twist that to claim I was saying they ARE behaving poorly to then USE AS AN EXCUSE to behave poorly. The online world is a circus of drama and I and other admins work tirelessly to avoid drama in our community group. I posted this notice today and I am NOT responsible for how others CHOOSE to act on any misunderstandings or how they CHOOSE to BEHAVE negatively instead of merely discussing things and resolving things. Actions speak volumes. I apologise for any misunderstandings but will never apologise for not tolerating people incapable of using their words in a more respectful manner. The group post: "Update: Well I tried to create a discussion thread so peo...

This last year saw my IMDb portfolio grow and expand and I'm so pleased to announce that I will be acting in two new upcoming movies, so keep an eye out for this lil' lady on screen! IMDb.me/SarahWingfield  #movies #imdb #Actress #Producer #Filmmaking #Production #Acting #Cast #SarahWingfield #KawaiiDollDecora #onscreen  @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ 🩷✨🩷✨🩷✨🩷✨🩷✨🩷

As I sing to myself, ✨ Hole - Northern star, ✨ and contemplate on why the world is the way it is as my dog goes to the toilet in my garden, I look up and see a pink hue. Is this a sign from the universe? I finally catch a glimpse of the northern lights .. Ha finally captured it! 🌌 This world confuses me it's one hellova rollercoaster! Why can't people just mind their beeswax and leave people to suffer in their little lanes without adding to the suffering? Xx  Sarah x Please don't give up on me yet! 🙏🏻🥺  I will make it through every bad patch the world throws at me. 

Like I said I've made huge progress and if I ignore the fact others have chosen to target me lately (usually around the time when I actually do something good in life) then life was being pretty good lately... I'm an executive producer now of Reloaded 3 and have a small acting role in it and I'm an associate producer of Diamond Dogs Comedy heist and have a small acting role in that. These are BIG moves for a little dreamer like myself and I will keep going and trying to make the best of this little life that I have. I'm actually excited about some projects for once and I will be focusing on those and avoiding people who go out of their way to act completely insane abusive. I may not understand why the world is the way it is but I've worked extremely hard towards these goals and I did this all myself and even if it does attract abusive people and hate, I still succeeded in something and that's all that matters to me. Sarah. I can't change how others are but I...

I'm so exhausted of grown people making me a target for abuse and this time it's body shaming and a couple dragging me into their abusive messenger chat and they've been targeting me a while and I never went to the police and I get sick of people like that cause I don't want my parents or family getting stressed out. I need my social media for my charity and community work so it would never be fair me having to leave it because people can't stop being evil. No matter what you do it doesn't matter they can't help themselves. I won't name names but if I have to go to the police about them too I will. I don't know if it is because I am wired differently, autistic, they think I will be an easy target and I don't know why they get even more aggressive the more you block, avoid and walk away from their abuse but I had to block over ten people tonight because they had it escalated and I think they may be from Darlington but I am unsure, they are strange...