Tired of being a target:
I'm so exhausted of grown people making me a target for abuse and this time it's body shaming and a couple dragging me into their abusive messenger chat and they've been targeting me a while and I never went to the police and I get sick of people like that cause I don't want my parents or family getting stressed out.
I need my social media for my charity and community work so it would never be fair me having to leave it because people can't stop being evil.
No matter what you do it doesn't matter they can't help themselves.
I won't name names but if I have to go to the police about them too I will.
I don't know if it is because I am wired differently, autistic, they think I will be an easy target and I don't know why they get even more aggressive the more you block, avoid and walk away from their abuse but I had to block over ten people tonight because they had it escalated and I think they may be from Darlington but I am unsure, they are strangers to me that started on me randomly that I walked away from and can't help themselves but keep being abusive and derogatory.
I may make adult content because paid work is scarce but I'm trying to start my own business and survive and that's still not an excuse for grown couples to act like sadists and recruit Americans from their message group where they take the pee out of people and act abusively to then keep adding me to a messenger group called Cxntville (censored) just to harrass and body shame me.
It seems whenever I make decent progress in life there's always some random person wanting to cause harm to me and I'm a stranger to them and simply don't get it but I'm blogging about it incase it escalates because I can only do so much if I'm being targeted, especially by a group of people.
Why is it that abusers are allowed to be abusive and when victims defend themselves the victims are then targeted even more, or shamed for pointing out that people were abusive.
Being a victim of abuse is NOT worse than people being abusive and speaking about abuse is not a bad thing, it's a safeguarding thing.
I'm exhausted as it's been a while now they have been aggressive and harassing me and I seem to get rid of one bully in life and the universe throws another at me and frankly I am trying not to lose my shii and trying to keep going despite this.
If anything happens to me, know I didn't deserve it, didn't ask for it and my life was none of their business, I don't know why people choose to behave like that or target women like that and I never will but know that I did my best and I will always and forever speak UP against abuse.
I'm allowed to leave their group and allowed to block all of them and stay away from them but they took things too far and keep taking things too far and it's as if people don't realise how life works anymore or how these things can escalate so quickly.
When you're targeted, nothing you seem to do can change anything and it just escalates infront of you, whether you ignore it, whether you defend yourself, whether you avoid and block, none of it seems to matter.
And then you worry about your family and friends and loved ones and hate that this is happening TO you... I don't want to worry any of them and I keep going despite being a target.
I'm sick of the universe throwing bullies in my path now though and I'm sick to death of having to deal with these sorts of things when I want to focus on my goals and bettering my life and myself.
The more I try and understand this the more I spiral and I don't think I ever will understand it but life really is throwing obstacles at me that I can do without lately.
People are so despicable these days I don't understand how we got here, how mother's and father's can be showing their kids that abuse and harming others is a good thing.
That they think they can harrass people over and over and over and get away with it... But the system isn't helping.
I've been denied the non-molestation order to protect me from my abusive ex too, I am NOT safe anywhere in this world and this world is getting worse and worse.
When did abuse become the new normal?
I don't want pity, I don't want anything other than people like that to feck off and leave me alone.
I should be nothing to them and yet they see that I'm making big steps to progress, that I've worked extremely hard for, and think they can target me and sabotage it all and for what? Some other idiots online to cheer them on and treat them like they're awesome when they're actually despicable and don't realise how these things can lead to major harm.
I'm tired now.
People need to feck off.
Period.
I'm going to continue doing what I do and living my life in MY own lane and if I have to keep blocking abusive people online I will, if I have to keep leaving stupid groups filled with abusive adults that haven't grown up yet, I will.
I just want to feel safe in life for once and I'm clearly NOT allowed to, ever.
So yea... Great.
Sarah.
Just know that I try my best and do my best and I can't stop Scorpions from being what they are but I wish they didn't circle me whenever I'm actually doing good things for a change.
Life is hard just let me enjoy it.
The universe seems to keep replacing a bully I managed to get rid of with another bully and I'm exhausted of it.
This blog is what I've been going through with online harrassment and I explain exactly why I don't understand people like that or this world.
I never will.
If you can't support someone you don't need to be a D.
Sarah.
