New day, new goals, me chapters:

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As the police have just left, I've explained I just want to be left alone by *censored* and don't want an apology or anything anymore.

I'm not naming anyone or blogging about the past anymore and I'm trying to rebuild what I have left in my life.

Hopefully today will bring new opportunities and new adventures and I can start and heal and put my negative experiences behind me.  

Resolution wasn't possible and I can't change that.

I understand I can't change how things have been for me and I understand I can't make others care or stand for what they claim to and as a blogger from now I'll be very careful about what I write because I don't want people with malicious intent to use my blogging against me. I document my life. That's all I've ever done since 2009. The highs, the lows, the in-betweens and the 3 am thoughts.

I'm not the villain I've been painted as and I really did just try and uplift and bring people together, that's all I'll ever do and atleast I tried. May have failed due to other people's actions and things beyond my control, but at least I tried. I got hurt, and I've picked myself back up and just want to be left to rebuild my life again.

When I start and do stalls I'll be able to find customers again and rebuild from there.

What I don't want is my current charity work and hard work being sabotaged as I've lost enough, been targeted enough.

The policeman was ever so polite and patient and helpful and may be able to open some doors for much needed support for myself after all of this so I hope that's the case and I feel a lot more positive about continuing keeping to myself and avoiding those who wish me harm.

I don't wish anyone harm, never have and never will. 

Communication isn't possible with some people and I'm learning to accept I can't get closure when other people don't want to resolve things. I can't make them.

I'm still learning in life and people forget I was isolated for a decade and it's not like my social skills were great before that being undiagnosed autistic. I have too many traits it's a definite I'm autistic but atleast I've started to understand that being wired differently isn't a problem, it's just hard to navigate and I'm working on navigating life with autism.

I'm just relieved this won't impact my charity work as I've sacrificed so much and lost so much, and that I won't be sabotaged or harmed further, so to the universe I'm very grateful for that and to the police services for their help with everything.

I'm realising my faith in humanity is slowly being restored again and I hope this continues because I've been exceptionally unlucky and had to face obstacle after obstacle, when I just want a peaceful life filled with love, happiness, good memories and adventures.

Hopefully the damage that's been done will fade and people will start to see me for who I REALLY am and I can't wait for that day.

The day people actually bother to get to know me will be the day they will see the truth. 

For now though, stay safe and I promise I'll try and navigate these stormy seas of life as best as I can and continue to endure and hopefully eventually thrive!

Wish me luck, as I do you, my wonderful readers.

You help me feel less alone in a chaotic world and I hope that I do that for you in return.

We ALL matter.

We do.


Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹 







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