Facing everything:

I've been sat and processing everything that's happened to me over the last year and I'm still proud of me.

One hundred percent know I'm not the problem. 

I'm done with small minded individuals winning awards when they're actually horrible people, I'm not surprised in this world, the bad get promoted and the good get ostracised but I wish all of them good luck and never ever was any of their enemy and never will be. 

I don't bring people down like they have and never will and I don't need any awards to prove that and never will. Hopefully they'll never treat others like they have me and the others that join in I keep blocking and keeping to myself. 

I have got bigger things to do than deal with small town issues, I recorded a really useful podcast last night for a bigger charity based in London, and they've lost someone kind and who already offered them so much support before they ganged up on me and I'm proud of being the one to uplift and support but also know when people are taking the pee and knowing my worth and when I'm worthy of an apology. 

An apology is too hard, bullying is easier and frankly Idgaf anymore they've caused so much harm and damage that they've rendered any award they achieve false in reality and I am a strong believer in karma. 

It's easier to claim the person they hurt is the problem than face the fact they're not good people and they do bad things.

I'm over the worst of everything now and I'm not even interested in any of them so they're the ones who've lost someone dedicated, determined and whose authentic with kindness and support, I've lost judgemental people and people incapable of holding themselves to account when they harm others.

In all aspects, irregardless of the damage and harm they've all caused, still sounds like I'm the one better off. Maybe this was important anyways for me to see so I'm not supporting fake people and fake support, and that's also important because behaviour has a pattern and if they can do this to me then they can do it to others and then I'd have been the fool because I'd have supported people with malice in their hearts as opposed to kindness.

Just focusing on my own projects now and if people want to claim I fake my disabilities to further invalidate me to try and justify the fact I'm not worthy of an apology (when I am) and hate me for speaking up about mistreatment then I can't change it and it will never make what they say true about me. Ever.

I have cried enough this year. Lost enough, I'm taking back what's owed and determined to reach higher and achieve more which I never ever needed any of them to achieve and never will.

My time goes on me now, not false prophets and false people. I'm investing in me for a change. 

People who bother to get to know me will eventually see they've been manipulated and people who do bad deeds or hide bad deeds behind good always expose themselves in the end and they have to live knowing they used their organisations to abuse not support. 

Never thought little disabled ME would ever be thought of such a threat that three organisations needed to be used against me and to gang up on me instead of me getting any apologies, I'll take that as a compliment as to them, I clearly have power. 

Rebuilding now! They can break me but I'm used to picking up the pieces! 💪🏻❤️ 

I've rebuilt from worse monsters than them and it's not my responsibility to educate people on how their actions harm others and the system won't let me safeguard others so all I can do is keep focusing on rebuilding what they've destroyed.

I will make new friends, I will eventually be less isolated, I will rebuild my business and I still support a lot of charities and organisations on the town and they see me for who and how I am and they run theirs fairly and remain impartial like they should.

Cliques are the worst because they support each other they forget to question themselves and their own behaviour, defending their clique is more important than acknowledging harmful behaviour their clique causes and without being able to think for themselves they can't see how harmful they themselves are and I can't make them.

I'm packing today for tomorrow and currently getting ready and everything ready for my driving lesson and I won't be pushed out of my hometown or move away, there's still a lot of good people here and still a lot of people who, like me, care about ALL people, not just some, not just the ones they like and not just the ones that supported them.

No bad behaviour should ever be overlooked.

I hope they heal and work on themselves, I hope they realise the harm they cause and I hope they eventually work on becoming better people, because they do have responsibilities to individuals and as a result can cause harm to others. When and if they do it again, I hope they find the strength to acknowledge they're the problem instead of ganging up on any victims.

Not naming anyone and keeping this vague on purpose to protect myself from them. I clearly need to be safeguarded and not the other way around and if they continue to bring heat to me the justice system will eventually be able to see this too.

For me however, I don't yet know what is around the corner but atleast I know when someone tells me I have caused harm, I fix me.

Working through a few things to make me a better version of me and I will continue to find myself better coping methods of being Neurospicy and fixated on injustice. I can find alternative ways to gift myself the closure I deserved but will never get from them.

I'm not the villain I'm painted as and the facts always come out in the end.

I won't be bullied out of my hometown.

My family and roots are here and I do matter too even when others are unkind and don't feel like I do.

My legacy is not in awards and validation, it's in authentically actioning positive change for ALL.

I've helped so many on this town and made a huge difference in different areas and even managed to get our council to consider installing bus stop seats at our train station stops and my achievements can't be undone. That's my legacy. Knowing I've actually helped lots of people and NEVER harmed any. Ever.

I'm still a charity worker and I won't let anyone or anything sabotage my hard work in these areas and I will build a good little peaceful life for myself whilst uplifting and helping others.

Sarah Wingfield. ❤️