Snow ❄️ and pain:

It started snowing a little today but I could already feel the pain increase in my joints muscles, ligaments and bones.

I'm stiff and tight and sore and the cold weather really makes a difficult adversary.

My legs keep cramping up and I'm needing my vape more than usual. Hopefully now I've asked my new friend (S) to not relay any abuse directed at me from his family I can now focus on my busy week ahead and focus on getting the much needed rest I need and more.

I don't need to know what his family says, they're nothing to do with me but I am a person with morals in my own right and I will defend myself when necessary against any and all abuse tactics.

It's funny though how every single abusive person that's deliberately invaded my lane without consent threaten to tell the police about my PRESCRIPTION cannabis. There is definitely a pattern of behaviour when it comes to abusers and narcissists and I will be covering the abuse cycles in my podcast which I'll be recording for NaariSamata charity on Wednesday.

My actions speak louder than any words and I'm not interested in how others want to use me as a verbal punching bag because I don't have time to waste taking shii from strangers and I won't apologise for protecting myself and saying no to any and all abuse from now on.

It was very difficult to get out of the trauma bonded relationship I was in with an abuser and I've come too far to let anymore abusive sorts derail me, my goals or my hard work so I say NO thank you.

They may be abusing my friend (S) as he's confided in me about it but they're illogical to involve me because I'm doing nothing and have nothing whatsoever to do with the family drama and have told him he needs to sort it with housing, as long as they stop taking him back to his abusers home instead of offering him a place to live, and police.

I won't fall out with a person over things outside of their control but I can and will avoid people who are making my life worse and he needs to keep his family and what disgusting threats and things they say between him and the police. I'm not the one to be told, the police are.

Having cleaned up the unwanted negativity that has invaded my lane, I am now happily chilled and meditated and ready to face my day and go to the dentists.

I have housework and chores to do after and a very busy day tomorrow too.

It's my son's birthday and I aim to enjoy it as I constantly try and navigate a world filled with manipulators, liers, abusers and sadists.

I have boundaries now and I'm thankful i do.

I also have movie projects to be working on and have Bonesfest in Bradford to be focusing on getting everything I need packed for.

I'm staying in MY lane and away from anyone that isn't adding anything to my life. If people want to label me as selfish for protecting myself they can cause I was also labelled selfish when I was being abused myself, when I've sacrificed a lot, when I've done a lot of charity work and it seems the GO TO insult in modern day society to try and INVALIDATE any individual.

Go for it. Wanna say I'm selfish, then I'm selfish. Hope it makes the haters feel better for a minute moment as they use their hate to attack others to deflect from their own miserable lives and their own imperfections and flaws to which they are too busy falsely attacking others, to be bothered to fix.

Nice one. Well done.

I'm building a nice little life for myself and even making friends has got me in a position where I'm the target of more abuse so just existing in this world leads to being abused and I'm sorry but it's not good enough and I say no and Feck off to it.

My right.

My life.

My lane.

Now I'm only interested in making happy memories and adventures so anyone whose not a part of that won't be allowed any access.

That's all I can do and the authorities can deal with anyone whose threatening or harassing cause I can't seem to catch a break.

But I can say NO and choose to NOT deal with anyone like that, and that's what I will do.

Now to focus on my week and my son's birthday and everything else.

Sending love to everyone with chronic pain whose struggling right now, we all have a right to take the space to manage our conditions the best we can and if that also means saying NO to any additional stressors or abuse then it's necessary to protect yourself.

Necessary.

I hope my fellow chronic pain warriors who are in similar circumstances understand that and put that into practice too, because no one deserves abuse and negativity, not from anyone but especially not from strangers.

We endure and deal with so much more than the average person, we don't need anything adding to that.

Sarah ❄️❤️ xo