Invalidation is a real issue:
An official representative for sisters of support, a group I attend that's meant to be impartial who brandishes the logo and claims to be a feminist Marxist, invalidated me today for sharing awareness of verbal abuse and factual behavioural patterns followed by cliques afterwards.
Just because some people are beneficial to some people doesn't mean they should be allowed to mistreat other people, when someone whose been kind to me has mistreated someone I always have compassion and feel for the person that got mistreated.
I'm proud of that.
No mistreatment is ok and these individuals that choose not to apologise and choose abuse over thoughtful communication villainise themselves by choosing 'villain'-like behaviour.
It's been six months and I've not had an apology.
I'm happy to take the hate because it shows you the truth. People support abuse and bad behaviour because the person whose abusive is beneficial to them instead of being compassionate and mortified and wanting the victim to have a simple apology that's well justified and deserved.
Invalidation is abuse supporting and it's about time people behaved in ways they CLAIM to.
They lie about morals and if you're an official representative of an organisation and brandish their attire and logo you should never bring that organisation into a conversation to invalidate a victim of abuse.
No matter your personal views.
You act at all times, legally, as an official representative and it's about time people took their responsibilities seriously; they wonder why suicide rates are high and people struggle yet when faced with an opportunity to remain impartial they instead victim shame and blame.
No decent gentleman I know would be verbally abusive on the phone and ignore a complaint which is definable as bad business practice and unprofessional for over six months.
That's not decency that's lack of accountability.
It's also a fact that the people that have come forward to me who've experienced similar abuse and negativity from the same gentleman is mostly 'women', just a fact.
It's also a fact that images can be cropped and spliced to include and fairly represent an individuals hard work in the newspaper.
It's not rocket science.
It's a choice not to print someone and it's a choice to be abusive and it's a choice for charitable organisation official representatives to invalidate victims.
It's corruption.
They are infringing my rights to fair treatment as a disabled woman and they are hypocritical to what they stand for and as a result are showing everyone who they are and that they think people should not be held accountable because they supported THEM. Selfish.
Corruption.
I speak up and raised awareness today because he's not held to account and no apology has been issued.
I have nothing to hide and no matter how they manipulate or gaslight I stand firmly in my truth and against ALL abuse.
My morals can't be changed even if they're invalidated by people of a professional capacity in ways they show unfair bias and abuse support.
Even when my morals are detrimental to my wellbeing they don't change. I'm hated because I shone a light on facts and they don't like it.
Well I don't like abuse or people with fake morals who throw victims under the bus because they benefit from promotions from the abusive gentleman.
Those that came forward to me MATTER too and we all matter and deserve to be spoken to with respect. I do a lot for this town and won't stop even when I'm hated and unsupported.
I don't need validation but I deserve apologies when people choose maladaptive and disgusting behaviours.
I pointed out that she had no consent from sisters of support to bring them into this and legally they claim to be impartial towards all struggles their sisters endure.
This is NOT the case.
You can't claim to be individual or have personal opinions whilst simultaneously representing any organisations especially when you use that organisation to justify the abuse received towards victims because the person who did it supports said organisations.
She chose to bring sisters of support name into it to invalidate me and claim my reaction to the abuse is 'illogical'.
That's defined legally as unfair bias.
I'm proud of who I am and I will take all hate because accountability is more important, my townsfolk are more important and it's a bigger principle than just me.
Everyone is deserving of fair treatment.
These organisations claim you matter but are too quick to act like you don't and tell you you're 'villainising' someone by factually documenting their actions.
They do a good enough job of villainising themselves and disagreements happen but how they're resolved truly counts.
I was told that after two meetings you're invited to the WhatsApp support group and I love the group sisters of support and what they stand for which was why I was mortified by Kirsty Amy today invalidating my genuine abusive experiences justifying it because she was supported, the same as Tony Beddard from All Disabilities Matter did and he acted as a direct representative of their charity hence that evidence they don't think all disabilities matter is why I boycott them.
Junction 7 are another charitable organisation that think they are allowed to be abusive and are above accountability.
I'm seeing a pattern here.
"If you're beneficial you can mistreat people." is the message they are sending.
I simply and politely disagree.
I fix me when I'm the problem and it's about time others did the same instead of hiding bad behaviour behind good deeds to get away with it.
Mental health is supposed to matter so actions should align with that and yet... they are not.
I am not holding sisters of support responsible at this time for Kirsty Amy's victim shaming and blaming and invalidation of myself all because she was supported by the aggressor.
She acted without sisters of supports consent to which I pointed out.
You can't remain impartial AND use an organisation to justify abuse against a victim.
It's not hard.
Actions need to align with what people are supposed to stand for and this is a hill I'm willing to 'fight for people's rights' on.
If I receive an apology it would also comfort all the others who have been wronged and mistreated and it would show that Paul from Newton Press cares about people of his town.
Six months and still no response to my complaint.
I had no choice but to raise awareness again due to this and if Kirsty Amy is so worried about whatever damage that could cause Newton Press over the victims of the verbal abuse then that's her choice, not mine. I disagree entirely with putting promotion over people's rights and fair treatment.
If they bothered to think about it instead of invalidating victims and being unfairly biased then they'd realise he put himself in this position by not acknowledging or apologising for his bad behaviour which upset my son and myself and many women and even some men on my town.
As an independent disability advocate who advocates for accountability and actioning positive change it would be unprofessional of me to allow abuse under any circumstances or any capacity.
The fact I was not an isolated incident acts as precident as to why I've raised awareness, factually and truthfully and sincerely.
I have never once hated on sisters of support or held any grudges to Paul's relatives for his behaviour and yet I myself am held grudges against by professional representatives because I spoke the truth.
I have nothing to apologise for. I haven't done anything wrong and I'm just a woman getting fed up of corruption and invalidation and abuse and I have a right to raise awareness of such as it happens.
I am after all a blogger too.
I could have updated this with a resolution but that is out of my control, resolution can only be done by said aggressor and they don't want resolution they prefer leaving people upset and mistreated instead.
That's actions and that says everything about them and nothing about the people they mistreat.
I have kept screenshots of everything in regards to this and I am atleast able to remain professional even if others can't help themselves and think supporting bullies should be a social norm, well it isn't and it's just cliques being cliques and justifying abuse and therefore being hypocritical to what they're supposed to stand for.
I'm not here to be liked, I'm here to state facts and hold people accountable and seek justice.
My townsfolk may not matter to people who choose aggression over thoughtful communication but they MATTER to me and I'm getting fed up of them, and myself, being made out like we don't matter.
We DO matter.
Period.
Atleast I'll be going down in history for being a truth speaker and someone whose willing to hold those who think they can get away with abuse, to account. They're going down in history on the wrong side of morals so let's hope they can live with that.
Sarah Wingfield
Independent Disability Advocate.
I am proud to have compassion in a world that invalidates and hates as opposed to educates and uplifts. Proud to be me, proud to be mortified when others get harmed emotionally or otherwise even by people who have been kind to me. More people should be like me.
