People make life harder:

So stressed.. I was told 2pm via a text that came through at 6pm yesterday that a service man was booked for today at 8:15. You're NEVER given a reason.

Barely got up and dog needed toilet so I let him out and service man was hovering at the gate being really unfair about my dog. I had already said I was getting him in, my dog is scared of some men and couldn't use the garden so has peed and pooped in my home now cause they wouldn't make room for him to go to the toilet, if a human was treated that way there'd be hell on.

I asked what he was here for and he said the shed door, and asked if I can get him indoors I replied yes I will but just saying he's friendly, he's like immediately defensive and saying I'm not staying around that dog hes XL bully is he, I said, not saying you have to and no he's not (cause he's not, even the govt are backwards and vets got some of us with larger NON-xl bullies to pay the govt so they don't kill our dogs and get them exempt even though they're not XL bullies.)

I am disabled and the binmen didn't put my bin back so I had to do that after cleaning up everything and I've pulled a muscle in my leg and I'm in agony from it all. 

A little help and respect goes a long way. Shame there isn't much left in this world.

Can't be chewed with people who are just here to replace a shed door making my life harder than necessary...

I have a big day ahead and a driving lesson I need to be able to rest up to do and I'm sorry but you should have let my dog go to the toilet in the garden atleast.

He's freaking out and anxious now and my right leg is killing me. Gonna take my basic pain meds as I don't smoke my prescription on any day that I will be driving.

I am now not going to be able to be ready for 10am which I was going to take parcels to the post office as an ex keeps getting his sent to my home which is not a good thing when I have police involvement with him.

I just intervened an autistic meltdown and I'm sat trying my best not to break down and cry right now.

Going to try and have a bath and get sorted for the busy day I have ahead.

Sarah x

Updated:

I apologised to the workman and explained I just needed my gate shut because of the off chance my dog ever escaped and got hit by a car. I said we can put his muzzle on if it makes him more comfortable and I managed to stop myself hurting myself or punching myself this morning.

When you have an autistic meltdown it's hard to emotionally regulate and I managed to calm down and go for my driving lesson.

I did really well on the lesson and still have a lot to improve on so I'm focusing on that.

I'm using socials still albeit a lot less.

My whole body is in flare up mode on top of all of what I'm going through and I'm still continuing on.

My friend had a birthday today and was gonna spend it alone I couldn't have that so tried to use two cinema codes to get us into the cinema but they're not valid Friday and Saturday so I'll take him as a belated birthday to see Red One soon.

I got him a oven pizza and a little chocolate cake for himself. 

Birthdays matter, friends matter.

I got to work on one of my projects tomorrow and then I'm volunteering. Trying to find the good mixed in-between the bad and trying to re-find my place in the world.

I had thought I had finally found my place when I found solace at a support group but now that feels unsafe too, I feel lost again.

I'm not coping as well as I would like and the misunderstandings that escalate don't help things.

I wish people could take a step back and TRY and understand anothers perspective for once. Oh well.

Sarah x