The world was beautiful yesterday:
I got all dressed up for my date, long burgundy skirt, black leggings, black top with white skulls and red roses and my alt boots with flames.
I put on red lipstick and did my make up and hair and I was so anxious and nervous and went to my parents to talk to them a bit before the date but there was no need for any anxiety or nerves because my parents said I looked lovely and wished me the best, at the bus stop a couple were so kind and let me on the bus first with my pass and walking stick and they seemed like amazing people and people on the bus were smiley and friendly and a little girl kept making me giggle.
I listened to my music and stared at the scenery, skies and trees and forgot all my problems and all the hate that's been echoing in my mind.
I'm trying.
When I arrived I phoned Patrick and he came and found me and walked me to the restaurant. We dined at Uno Momentos and it was busy so I was socially anxious but it was a really friendly and warm atmosphere.
We both talked about a multitude of things and he had booked the restaurant and paid for everything, a first for me.
He made jokes and calmed me and was an upbeat, talkative and quirky guy. I enjoyed his company and we went for a coffee afterwards and continued to talk.
He wants to see me again and he booked and paid for a taxi to get me home.
He was a complete and utter gentleman and I was blown away by him and the amazing people around me.
It reminded me why I fell in love with this area again and why I had started actioning positive change in the first place.
The people matter.
It felt like home again 🥺 don't know how long that will last but it meant the world to me.
Got home and made it up to my friend Steven for falling asleep (burnout) on his birthday and we had ciders and karaoke and chocolate cake.
He went home and Bud and I settled nicely and watched some romcoms on TV.
It was the most perfect day I've ever had in a long time and I'll cherish it all forever.
I am so grateful and I needed that.
I managed to get some selfies for the Diamond Dogs movie as Beatrice Elite and when I got back I went to my parents first who were so happy for me having had such a blast!
I've been feeling like I've been failing at life recently and my flare ups haven't helped so I thoroughly enjoyed yesterday and it reminded me of the things I can do once I can drive too.
The freedom I'll have.
I'm focusing on me now. I can't change the world but I can change things for myself and make my life a lot better for myself and do the inner work and shadow work to become a better version of me that I can be.
My dog and I have such a lovely time together too and he makes me giggle so much.
I've started to build a nice little life for myself and maybe this is the universe telling me to focus on me for a change and that it's not selfish to invest in yourself for once.
I have time to continue writing my books now and doing more meditation and spiritual guidance work.
I can't prove myself to people who don't care about me or who I am in the first place and that's their issue.
I need to heed my friends words with the 'let them' because I can't make others care or fix the mistakes they choose to make themselves and I can't help people without the necessary support.
Awareness is the key to change.
Today is remembrance Sunday and I'm lighting a candle for all those who we lost and all those who are still around. Proud of our servicemen and women and animals and if you ever sit down and talk with them, you learn so much.
It's an eye opener that's for sure. They can teach you a lot about life and how to go about things better. They've had real struggles and endured and survived the war. I'm very grateful to all of them and I miss my own relatives who did the same.
I may not be able to leave the house today as I need a rest day but I'm speaking to a wonderful ex serviceman today as part of my volunteering with Age UK and one thing I admire about him the most is his ability to be upbeat in the face of life's hardships.
That is a true strength and I hope to be strong like that some day.
Happy Remembrance Sunday to all and I hope to have more positive experiences and happy memories made than the other.
*Fingers crossed* I'm on the right path for me now.
Sarah x
