Social Security System Event and Butterfly world call:

Today I'm attending the Darlington MPs engagement event on the social security system.

I hope to use my voice today to advocate for ALL of us with disabilities, who can't be there, can't be at protests and who are like myself fighting to be understood and supported by our government.

I've done the work, sent the emails, worked with charities, filled out questions and forms and I am still doing it.

Firstly I have a call from butterfly world which I'm anxious about but I know I was doing the right thing by leaving and that my fur baby was always safe. Some of us actually experiment and test our cars and make logical decisions but it doesn't matter because people will jump to conclusions and use that to lash out because feeling 'right' is better than doing the right thing.

Why isn't our world better and why does it not have places for our animals to be watched and looked after? The same reason they don't even make things accessible for humans, they only care when they can look good and not actually action things that are needed, even for disabled people. So why would they be more inclusive for our fur babies?

Accessibility matters.

My mam will be sat with me for support for the call.

I hope for resolution honestly because the lady who mistreated me is another person that I am fighting for the rights for.

My fight includes her rights as well as my disabled peers.

Together we can achieve so much more but I don't understand how society fails to see this and chooses belittling or negativity instead; if you have the energy to do that why not use the same energy but turn it into actioning positive change instead?

I stand out, I'm used to hate, unfortunate but true but I never let it stop me and those that bothered to take the time to actually get to know me and those that see me for who and how I am are the only ones that matter to me because their actions and decisions are based on facts and truth.

People mistreat me all of the time, it's become the norm and I ignore it so much even in public, hate is normal, but it gets exhausting and some days you just can't ignore it and let them be nasty, we are all only human.

I'm proud I'm not a nasty person and I'm always doing my best.

I could and would achieve so much more but unfortunately strangers prefer ostracising and sabotage over seeing the potential and I can't change that.

I'm still surviving and I'm allowed to be tired of disrespect, some of us don't get out often and we don't have easy lives but it's easier to overlook that when someone just wants to lash out and flex an ego and then you blame people when they can't deal anymore, you blame them for their reaction and that's manipulation.

I'm always upfront, direct and honest but when I'm not hurt or being attacked I'm patient and kind and happy to communicate clearly, unfortunately if someone is being hostile and involving members of the public they automatically remove the possibility for communication by making the space an unsafe one to be able to do so.

I'm allowed to ask people to not make spaces unsafe and I'm never about sides like petty people, there's always a bigger picture and more important points and those that make those assumptions do not have the same intentions as I do because they misjudge and misinterpret my actions based on why they'd do the same things, often with hidden agendas and they can't believe I'm not like them.

Their projections however are very telling to say the least, and they get even more angry and nasty and lash out more when they realise I'm not who and how they want me to be because then it makes them feel bad for trying to justify how they behaved.

How they want to feel about me and who I am are two different things entirely and I don't have any agenda other than suggesting people actually sit back and ask themselves if how they're behaving is helpful or harmful.

We all need self-reflection.

Busy day today and I don't stop, so let's wish me luck and let's hope that disabled people get heard at the MP's meeting today.

All my love and best wishes,

Sarah Wingfield ❤️

#welfarenotwarfare

~You can't make people understand you and you can't make people care all you can do is surround yourself with those they do see you and are there~

UPDATE: RE CALL:

They defended her behaviour and took sides, which unfortunately was what I expected. They claimed to be disability-friendly because they once allowed an autistic girl in for free, but they dismissed and invalidated the concerns I raised. I calmly said they were free to believe what they wanted, but I wouldn’t go anywhere I feel unsafe.

She said there had been no previous complaints about the staff member, as if that made things better, and didn’t believe me when I explained the worker laughed and joined in with the public. I pointed out that she now has a complaint. I'm exhausted, and I’ve decided not to return.

Her apology was more about how I felt than what had actually happened. All I had asked was that she speak to the staff member to help them make better choices in the future. They downplayed the situation, saying we were just asked to confirm Bud was safe, when in reality we were asked to leave. She didn’t believe that the staff member made a public comment about disliking animal cruelty, which triggered me.

I understand I can’t make others care or take responsibility, but I’ve chosen to be kind to myself by drawing a line under this and avoiding places that don’t feel safe. I explained I was afraid of fainting due to anxiety and a POTS episode, but that didn’t seem to matter. I do have photographic evidence showing Bud wasn’t panting or drooling as claimed.

The lady on the call also snapped at my mother for feeling hurt at the lack of an actual apology and she started recording the call before I had given consent. My consent and side never mattered. If she listens back, she’ll hear I didn’t agree to it. I tried to explain that justifying the staff member’s behaviour upset my mother, and she didn’t feel a genuine apology was offered. I kept things calm and pointed out that the staff member should have de-escalated the situation rather than act unprofessionally. My father also spoke with her at the end of the call to explain how things could have been handled better.

We can’t change what happened, but we can acknowledge it was harmful to me. I told her I had contacted the crisis team due to emotional dysregulation following the incident. She felt it was important I know others were also upset, which I acknowledged, but I tried several times to end the call as she continued to justify the staff member’s actions with idealistic narratives.

Ultimately, I explained that it’s not the issues themselves, but how they are handled that matters. My parents witnessed the call, and I’ve decided I won’t return. That’s all I can do. I can't change anything just move forward from it and be proud of myself and fix myself when I'm an issue.  ❤️