Heartbroken:

I won't pretend to understand this world, people make assumptions and don't have the facts. What's worse is people who condone abuse. 

They don't care about you or the fact you are a smart and logical person who is loving and kind and has not actually done anything wrong at any time. They'd rather convince themselves you're wrong to justify mistreatment but you can't make others understand and you can't make others care.

I don't hate anyone for caring about my dog, I appreciate that, I love my dog and knew he was always safe and well and still is but people will go out of their way to condone abuse and even be abusive on the back of you being a truth speaker. Even when you explain what you did wrong by reacting to public humiliation poorly.

I should have called the police. Period.

But I haven't because unlike others I care and understand people caring.

I am not who and how people want to think I am and I uplift others and simply ask people to be considerate when they are concerned.

People say they care about mental health but then project hatred and abuse towards those struggling who have not actually done anything wrong at any time, there is no need for it all.

Butterfly world is calling me on Wednesday when I can have someone with me for support but mistreatment of humans is still mistreatment even though people claim to care.

I can't change it, I can't get people to see reality but it's not my job to.

I document the ups and downs of my life and aim to get people talking about the important issues, unfortunately some people view that as an invitation to be judgemental or abusive themselves without fully understanding any situation.

Go for it.

Your behaviour says everything about you and nothing about me and you don't have to endure or live what I do.

I'm not perfect but I'm not an abuser to the point I don't condone abuse under any circumstances and I am ashamed of my autism sometimes and that I was incapable of being publicly humiliated quietly. I got triggered. I wish I took the abuse but that isn't okay.

I got triggered and had an autistic meltdown not because I'm angry or a bad person but because I can't stand false allegations and people who won't investigate thoroughly or accept or acknowledge reality and facts.

I can't change that.

I am sad and mortified I swore but I admitted my wrongs as I confide my experiences and I learn from mistakes and choose to be better.

When are others going to do the same?

I can't pretend to understand this world but my voice is so people handle things better and kinder and gather facts and investigate properly and I even beg people to phone the police if they genuinely think any animal is in danger but it doesn't matter who and how I am when people can invent narratives and be abusive and justify abuse.

Like I said, I can't make people care and if people who choose abuse over communication and kindness have disabilities themselves then shame on them for not being understanding or compassionate or bothering to fact check or investigate properly.

I wish I had called the police, maybe I would have been protected as well as my dog being confirmed safe but facts don't seem to matter when people won't acknowledge the harm they cause.

I won't apologise for not taking bullying and unprofessionalism well and butterfly world will be calling me on Wednesday so I hope they too aren't unkind.

That's all I can hope and I can't help others to understand and I should not have to.

I do my best with everything I do and those that actually know me and fact check and choose reality over fabrication are the only ones that matter.

Mental health matters too but only when people want it to and that needs to change because you choose to be harmful and justify abuse when you shouldn't.

I can't help you and I'm allowed to protect myself from abuse and advocate for fair treatment and for people to choose how they handle things better.

Facts don't change.

Never have and never will and if people bothered to investigate thoroughly they'd have seen my dog is safe, fine and well and that I won't be leaving him in a car anymore even when it IS safe to do so.

Some of us care about how we treat others and we fix ourselves, it's not a lot to ask for others to do the same.

I struggle so much I don't need sadism thanks.

Sarah ❤️