Posts

Showing posts from June, 2026

Reactive Abuse Awareness:

Image
Reactive Abuse Awareness: Reactive abuse is often a trauma response. It's what happens when someone is repeatedly provoked, antagonised, manipulated, harassed, lied about, threatened, or pushed beyond their limits. What many people fail to acknowledge is that those who engage in abusive behaviour rarely talk about what they did to create the reaction they later use as "proof" against their target. They don't talk about the name-calling. They don't talk about the lies. They don't talk about the stalking. They don't talk about the boundary violations. They don't talk about the threats. They don't talk about the attempts to recruit others into campaigns of hatred and harassment. Instead, they focus entirely on the reaction. A reaction they often spent weeks, months, or even years trying to provoke. Kind people don't obsess over people who have blocked them. Kind people don't repeatedly talk about someone who wants no contact with them. Kind pe...

Floofy Bees, Small Wins & Reasons to Be Grateful 🐝🌼

Image
Floofy Bees, Small Wins & Reasons to Be Grateful 🐝 🌼 Today was one of those days that reminded me why gratitude matters. I've been making a conscious effort recently to focus on the positives, especially when life feels overwhelming, so I picked up a daily gratitude journal from Tesco. It's a simple little thing, but sometimes the smallest tools can help shift your mindset and encourage you to notice the good that's already there. This week has given me plenty to be grateful for. I've lost 10lbs using Foodvisor, which feels like a huge achievement. Not because of the number itself, but because it's evidence that consistency adds up. When you live with chronic pain, disability, and fluctuating energy levels, progress rarely looks dramatic. More often, it's made up of tiny decisions repeated over and over again until one day you realise you've moved closer to your goal. I'm making plans, meeting goals, and continuing to move forward, even on the diff...

Too sensitive!!!!

Image
Too sensitive!!!! I'd rather be labelled "too sensitive" than become the kind of person who watches others being mistreated and shrugs their shoulders. For years I was told I was too emotional, too intense, too caring, too outspoken, too affected by things that "weren't my problem." What I've learned is that many people confuse empathy with weakness because they have become so used to cruelty, gossip, bullying, exclusion, injustice, and abuse that they barely notice it anymore. I notice it. I notice when people are struggling. I notice when someone is being targeted. I notice when vulnerable people are being ignored. I notice when something isn't right. And no, I don't think that's a flaw. The world doesn't need fewer people who care. It needs more. If being "sensitive" means I speak up when others stay silent, help when others walk away, and refuse to normalise harmful behaviour, then I'm perfectly happy wearing that label....

A reminder to slow down:

Image
A reminder to slow down: A lovely afternoon at Ropner Park with Peter after I took my young person out to the cinema to watch Toy Story 5. ❤️ What struck me most about the film is how much of it reflects real life. People need purpose, connection, kindness, and somewhere they feel they belong. Lately I've been reminded that a lot of people are carrying around hurt, frustration, and bitterness. Sometimes it shows up in the way they treat others. That's why I think connection matters so much. A chat with a friend, quality time with family, supporting someone who needs it, or simply spending time in nature can make such a difference. For me, parks like this are a reminder to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the things that actually matter. The people we love. The memories we make. The opportunities we have to help one another. The world could do with a little more understanding and a little less judgement. Hope you've all had a lovely day. 🌳✨ Sarah Wingfield ❤️ Independent ...

The body I live in - 2022 writing:

The body I live in. Written by Sarah Wingfield / Kawaii Doll Decora   The rocky terrain keeps making my ankles twist as I find it hard to gain my footing. Why did my body become this clumsy, tight and painful suit I have to carry like a lead weight in this world? Whilst almost everyone around me floats so effortlessly and smoothly through life? I sigh. Every step I take creates pain, swelling, tenderness, I don't ever remember doing any sports where I never had earache or pulled muscles, tendons or soreness. It went unseen for so long, job failure after job failure with no answers to what was making my health as such. I had people looking at me like I'm the same as them and dismissing me for not being able to perform or operate as robotically as them. When in reality I worked much harder than most, liked to keep busy but needed days and days off where I lay in pain or swelling and my body had yet again let me down. I am disabled. Those words still hit me hard, like a knife jol...

Did You Know There May Be Surgical Options for Severe SPD? 🤔

Image
Did You Know There May Be Surgical Options for Severe SPD? 🤔 For years, many people living with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) or Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) have been told that symptoms will improve after birth. For many, they do. But for some of us, the pain never fully goes away. Some people are left with long-term pelvic instability, chronic pain, mobility difficulties, and life-changing disability years after pregnancy. Whilst doing some recent reading, I discovered that surgical techniques have continued to evolve. Historically, severe pubic symphysis instability was treated using metal plates and screws to stabilise the pelvis. However, newer procedures are being explored using specialised suture and fixation systems designed to provide support whilst allowing a degree of natural movement within the joint. These procedures are not routinely offered to most people with SPD and appear to be reserved for severe cases involving significant instability and ongoing disability despite...

From My Bed, I Built a Lifeline:

Image
From My Bed, I Built a Lifeline: When I ran a helpline during the years I was bedbound, I came across far too many women from all over the world calling me for help, support, and simply someone to listen. Some were pregnant with their first child. Others their sixth or seventh. Many had been abandoned. I listened, comforted, reassured, and helped them navigate systems that often seemed impossible to access. One woman's story has stayed with me all these years. She was pregnant with her sixth or seventh child. Her husband had left her. She was alone, disabled, in pain, caring for multiple children, and had no support network around her. I helped her explore what support might be available, including carers, adult social services, advocacy referrals, and local assistance. I wrote supporting letters and helped signpost her to services that could make a difference. All whilst I was bedbound and housebound myself, living with permanent Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and Ehlers-Danlos...

How you treat people matters:

Image
Just this week alone: ❤️ Supported a woman seeking information about accessing an NHS-powered wheelchair and wheelchair services. ❤️ Took a young person in care out and provided ongoing support and positive experiences. ❤️ Continued supporting multiple advocacy clients, including housing-related challenges with councils. ❤️ Worked on the latest edition of Aycliffe Alternative Magazine, promoting local businesses, charities, community groups, artists, and young people. ❤️ Featured and supported people such as Sasha, Alufian Art Studio, S.T.E.P.P.S Theatre, The Comets, and other community projects. ❤️ Shared local events, support services, fundraising opportunities, and community information with tens of thousands of people. ❤️ Supported important petitions. ❤️ Donated to local charities and fundraisers. ❤️ Provided disability advice and signposting through my advocacy work and online platforms. ❤️ Supported disabled people by raising awareness of accessibility, dynamic disabilities, PIP...

Learning to ignore:

Image
Something I'm trying harder to do: ignore threats and abuse. Sometimes the strongest response is no response at all. When we're triggered, especially as neurodivergent people or those who have experienced trauma, the urge to defend ourselves can feel overwhelming. Trust me on this! 🙏🏻 We want to explain, correct misinformation, provide evidence, and make people understand. The difficulty is that not everyone is looking for understanding. Some people are looking for conflict. I've learned that constantly responding can keep us trapped in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. Every comment becomes another debate. Every explanation becomes another screenshot. Every defence becomes another opportunity for someone to keep the conversation going. Protecting your peace is not weakness. Setting boundaries is not weakness. Walking away from an argument does not mean you were wrong. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is trust that those who genuinely want the ...

The Question?:

Image
The Question?: I came across a question today - if I lost everything I've built, everything I've sacrificed for, worked towards, what would I be looking forward to right NOW. All that's gone. *Poof* and what am I excited for? Supporting my assigned young person in care as part of my qualified DCC work, Seeing my family, son, mam and dad on Sunday - Fathers Day, with Peter. So, my roots are still firmly family focused and for that, I'm truly grateful, especially in a world that's so antagonistic and selfish and cruel. It's the people that matter. Connection. So can people please stop forgetting that, because I could lose everything right this second, enough people are maliciously targeting me to, and guess what?! I'd still be me, I'd still be loved, I'd still love and I'd be happy!! I like to be useful, but no one 'has' to be. It's a choice. It's as simple as that, I just don't want to leave the world as I found it. I also won...

Realising...

Image
Realising You're Disabled Isn't a One-Time Event One of the things many non-disabled people don't realise is that coming to terms with disability isn't something that happens once. It happens over and over again. Sometimes it's because a condition worsens. Sometimes it's because you discover a new limitation or barrier you hadn't encountered before. Sometimes it's remembering something you used to do without thinking that is no longer accessible to you. Other times, it's simply being reminded that the world wasn't designed with your needs in mind. Disability can involve a constant process of adjustment, adaptation, and grief. Not necessarily grief for who you are, but grief for opportunities lost, independence changed, plans altered, or a life that looks different from the one you imagined. Many disabled people continue to push forward because we have no choice but to. We learn, adapt, advocate, and find new ways to navigate a world that often cr...

Quick Vlog Update 18 June 2026:

Image
🎥 Quick Vlog Update 18 June 2026: My main Meta Verified Facebook profile is still locked, but I've now spoken to Meta support and have been told my video verification was successful. I'm waiting for the next stage of the process and hope to have access restored soon. I've also seen some criticism regarding my groups and admin decisions. Moderation and safeguarding are not censorship. Admins have a responsibility to protect communities from harassment, abuse, false allegations, and disruptive behaviour, even when those decisions aren't popular. While social media often only shows part of a story, many situations involve evidence and context that aren't visible publicly. Despite the challenges, my focus remains the same: advocacy, disability awareness, community support, creativity, and helping others. Thank you to everyone who has continued to support me while I navigate this latest tech nightmare. ❤️ Sarah Wingfield Actor • Author • Advocate KawaiiDollDecora.uk #Ad...

Living With Dynamic Disabilities: The Reality Behind the Good Days:

Image
Living With Dynamic Disabilities: The Reality Behind the Good Days: One of the most frustrating things about living with a dynamic disability is that people often judge your entire life based on a single moment they happen to witness. If they see you smiling, attending an event, advocating, creating content, going shopping, walking a short distance, or enjoying yourself, they assume you're fine. What they don't see is what happened before that moment, or what happens afterwards. They don't see the chronic pain that keeps you awake at night. They don't see the fatigue that can leave you needing days to recover from a few hours of activity. They don't see the dizziness, brain fog, sensory overwhelm, anxiety, mobility struggles, joint instability, or the countless calculations disabled people make every day just to participate in society. As someone living with multiple disabilities and chronic health conditions, my abilities are not the same every day. Sometimes they...

Bruises:

Image
TW! DV ⚠️ Bruises: I'm really sorry, but after a two-year battle with an ex and their obsession, I'm incredibly emotional right now because today I was successful in obtaining a six-month non-molestation order against the individual. Not only does this help protect me, but it may also help anyone who needs to report him in the future. They'll be listened to. They'll be believed. 🙏🏻 Safeguarding always matters, and today I'm proud to be a woman who was brave enough to speak up. With the support of the courts, I have upheld my boundaries, and I sincerely hope the mental torture and constant poking at old bruises finally comes to an end. Bad things happen. I've spent too long suffering. Today, I'm proud of myself. I completely broke down after the court hearing and had to ring legal back later because I was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened. But today, the system worked. Today, we succeeded. Today, protections have been put in place that will lif...

Accountability:

Image
Accountability: Sarah Wingfield speaks on accountability, apologies, misunderstandings, and moving forward. 🎙️ Stitch with @New Mentalities | Motivation Accountability isn't about perfection. It's about recognising when harm has been caused, taking responsibility for our actions, and being willing to learn and grow. Misunderstandings happen, but honest communication and genuine apologies can make all the difference. Sarah Wingfield  Actor • Author • Advocate  KawaiiDollDecora.uk #Accountability #CommunityWork #Apologies #Misunderstandings #Growth #PersonalDevelopment #Motivation #Community #Kindness #Learning #SarahWingfield #MentalHealth #Advocacy #MovingForward #Respect Alt text: A video of Sarah Wingfield discussing accountability, misunderstandings, apologies, and personal growth while responding to content from New Mentalities. The video focuses on taking responsibility for actions, resolving conflict constructively, and encouraging respectful communication within commun...

Organise and PIP:

Image
Organise and PIP: I've just voted for Organise to continue its fight to protect PIP and challenge politicians who continue to misunderstand what it actually does. PIP is not an out-of-work benefit. It helps disabled people stay independent, access support, remain in employment, volunteer within their communities, attend appointments, manage daily living, and make choices about what works for them. For many of us, PIP is the difference between isolation and participation. It provides the flexibility to meet individual needs because disability is not one-size-fits-all. Putting pressure on politicians at a national level is no small task, but collective action works. Last year, disabled people, carers, allies and campaigners helped force the Government to rethink immediate plans to cut PIP and ensured a consultation was launched. More than 100,000 people in the Organise community are continuing to mobilise to protect PIP and other vital lifelines. Every voice matters. Disabled people ...

The positive side of Smear Campaigns:

Image
The Positive Side of Smear Campaigns: As I continue to deal with unwanted attention, rumours and people forming opinions without knowing the full story, I've realised there is one positive outcome. Smear campaigns reveal people. Not me. Them. I've watched some people rush to judgement, repeat gossip and ignore evidence. I've seen individuals excuse threats, harassment and harmful behaviour because it suited their narrative. But I've also seen the opposite . I've seen kindness. I've seen loyalty. I've seen people check in on me, ask questions, offer support and refuse to join the mob mentality. The people who stayed, listened and showed compassion are the people worth keeping. A smear campaign doesn't cost you your people. It reveals who your people are. And for that, I'm grateful. ❤️✨ Sarah Wingfield ❤️  Actor • Author • Advocate  KawaiiDollDecora.uk #SarahWingfield #Advocacy #AutisticAdult #AuDHD #DisabilityAdvocate #TruthMatters #ChooseKindness #...

New Life Goals:

Image
New Life Goals: I did a thing!! ...and started using #Foodvisor! 🍏✨ As someone with AuDHD, chronic pain, and depression, I can find it difficult to consistently manage a food diary, maintain healthy habits, and lose weight. So today marks the start of a new health journey. For £24 for the year, I'm hoping this app will be £24 well spent! 🙏🏻✨ My goal is to improve my health and lose weight sustainably. I've successfully lost a significant amount of weight in the past, but I've gained some of it back, so it's time to refocus and try again. I'll also be wanting access to your exercise bike, Peter Danks! 😂🚴🏻‍♀️ I'll just need to make sure I've got my pain management and pacing sorted first. I rehabilitated myself from being bedbound, worked hard to reduce my reliance on my wheelchair (I'm still an ambulatory wheelchair user but generally prefer my walking stick), and proved to myself that progress is possible even when it's difficult. 💯 So with a ...

Disability Advocacy, Hate Campaigns and a Passion for Justice:

Image
Disability Advocacy, Hate Campaigns and a Passion for Justice 🙏🏻✨ Sarah Wingfield speaks on recent events and her passion for supporting communities. #Advocacy #facts #chronicpain #community #support

Consistency is the key to success!

Image
🎉 Facebook recognized me as a consistent post creator this week! Despite the obstacles life keeps throwing my way, I keep showing up and committed to my own goals! 🙏🏻✨   Consistency is the key to success! I did some meditation after dealing with more unwanted and unnecessary negativity this morning and I'm feeling more like my little chirpy dork self again! Mike Davies is doing well post surgery so that's more good news, as he knows we've all been thinking of him and Ayshea Osman you're a star! A huge shout out to The Auckland Shanty Singers too because Joan and Christopher have a sweet spot in my heart! Mad appreciate you lovelies!! 🙏🏻✨☺️ I just want to finish by asking people, if you are gonna comment and say something can you question WHY you're doing it first and if it will help or harm because social media is getting worse and worse and people's ideas of professionalism these days is quite frankly the opposite to how I would define it! Also when som...

Aycliffe Alternative Magazine:

Image
Aycliffe Alternative Magazine has been shining a light on our local communities since it began, and that includes supporting organisations doing incredible work across Darlington and the wider area. I'm proud to share Darlington Mind 's article from a previous edition and to highlight the important support they provide within our community. Despite the targeting, false narratives, and difficulties I'm currently facing, I'm still working hard on the June edition of the magazine because local people, groups, charities, businesses, and community projects deserve to be seen and celebrated. It's not always easy when negativity tries to take centre stage, but I refuse to allow that to distract from the positive work happening across our communities. The magazine has always been about giving people a platform, amplifying good causes, and helping communities connect with one another. That remains my focus. Thank you to everyone who continues to support the magazine, contr...

Kindness...

Image
Kindness... My ex-abuser was handed court papers yesterday. At the same time, I find myself suffocating under the weight of other people's judgement, assumptions, lack of fact-checking, and lack of compassion. And honestly? I'm tired. Can we have some kindness back, please? Because behind every profile, page, blog, business, group, and public post is a human being. A real person. 🙏🏻✨ A person carrying things you may know nothing about. You don't know what someone is facing behind closed doors. You don't know what battles they're fighting, what trauma they're processing, what legal proceedings they're navigating, what health issues they're enduring, or how much strength it took for them to simply get out of bed that morning. Yet so many people seem comfortable judging, criticising, gossiping, and piling on without ever stopping to ask whether they're being fair. As someone with ADHD and autism, I feel things deeply. Disrespect, dishonesty...

Rumination and AuDhd

Rumination and AuDhd. I'm still wondering what "agenda" people think I have... 👉🏻👈🏻 ...I hate people sometimes - they don't care how they impact others. I also hate vague comments and mystery, I'm gonna be ruminating on this all night, wondering what sort of agenda I am rumoured to have. I also shared an Advocacy post not the abuse update blog - to groups - but I can spit facts till the cows come home and no one cares and no one listens as people just prefer to judge. Why is this the life lesson I have to keep learning, that people will treat you unkindly and believe false narratives? That abusers will be forever supported and flying monkeys will forever flock together to harm individuals and other aspects of your own communities not only allow this, but support this. I do not like the way this world is. People deserve better than this. I didn't get out of my bedbound and housebound situation to be sabotaged, it's not my fault when people choose sides ...

What Surviving Looks Like:

Image
"This is what surviving looks like. Not strong in the dramatic Hollywood sense. Strong in the sense of carrying chronic pain, trauma, neurodivergence, loneliness, judgement, anxiety, and depression every day and still choosing to wake up tomorrow." When you can't express or articulate it, create it. Sarah Wingfield ❤️  KawaiiDollDecora.uk #art #arttherapy #expression #selflove #keepgoing  Alt Text: Digital artwork depicting a curled-up feminine figure with bright pink hair sitting against a vivid pink and purple background. The figure hugs a pink heart-shaped cushion while surrounded by flowing black and white scribbles symbolising chaotic thoughts and emotions. Words written across the body and around the figure include "ADHD," "Autism," "CPTSD," "Anxiety," "Chronic," "Depression," "Judgement," "Invisible," "Alone," and "Bad Thoughts." Across the cheek is the phrase "...

The court of social media has adjourned:

Image
The #CourtOfSocialMedia has spoken. #Judge #Jury and #Executioner ...and I'm still proud of me. ❤️✨ This isn't new to me. 🙏🏻✨ I'm neurodivergent. I've spent much of my life watching people rush to conclusions, make assumptions, and form opinions before all the facts are known. I've seen victims blamed. I've seen rumours spread faster than evidence. I've seen narratives become accepted as truth simply because they were repeated often enough. Abuse is often loud. Self-defence can get lost in the noise and judged as harshly as the behaviour it is responding to. The world isn't always fair. I blog about both my highs and my lows because I believe in transparency and authenticity. I want people facing similar hardships to know they are not alone. I've been accused of having an "agenda" more times than I can count. If supporting local people, advocating for disability rights, amplifying community voices, and speaking against abuse is an agenda,...