PGP / SPD My story:

Celebrating how far I've come: I’ve come such a long way. I know success is defined differently depending on who you ask, but since rebuilding my mobility and getting out of my wheelchair, I’ve had so many achievements to celebrate. ❤️ I’ve been featured in publications and media, worked as an actor, producer and filmmaker, appeared in movies and independent film projects, written blogs and books, created and released music, designed artwork and products, modelled, performed, spoken publicly and continued developing my own creative projects. Alongside that, I’ve spent years advocating for disabled people, survivors and vulnerable members of our communities. I’ve supported individuals through difficult situations, completed safeguarding and advocacy training, volunteered with charities and community organisations, founded support spaces, helped manage large online communities, created Aycliffe Alternative Magazine and used my platforms to raise awareness, celebrate local talent and ...

My Boundaries Remain in Place: Today, I need to refocus on my driving as I prepare for my practical test. The noise, hostility and abusive distractions are not welcome. I keep reminding myself that storms pass. Until this situation is resolved, I will continue blocking anyone who brings hostility, harassment or personal attacks into my spaces. I am entitled to decide which people, organisations and community projects I promote on my own platforms. Our communities deserve spaces where people feel protected, respected and properly safeguarded. Because I have previously been harmed by organisations that were supposed to support me, I take concerns about conduct, accountability and positions of responsibility extremely seriously. I will not promote an organisation while I have unresolved concerns about the conduct of people affiliated with it, particularly where that conduct has caused me significant distress. That is a personal safeguarding boundary, not an instruction telling anyone else...

Re: Nova Consilia Centre: I can't honestly support this start-up organisation due to a direct conflict of interest. The organisation's founder is involved in an ongoing police-reported cyberstalking and harassment matter concerning me. As saddening as this is, safeguarding always has to come first. To avoid a conflict of interest and in the interests of safeguarding, I cannot approve or promote content relating to this organisation. Thank you for your understanding. Sarah Wingfield Actor • Author • Advocate KawaiiDollDecora.uk #safeguarding #community #novaconsilia #darlington Alt text: A cropped screenshot of a Facebook post preview from the Nova Consilia Centre page, shared by CJC Barbers. The preview headline reads, "HELP US OPEN DARLINGTON'S COMMUNITY CAFÉ" in large bold text, surrounded by coffee cup and sparkle emojis. A blue "Join" button appears beside the page name at the top. UPDATE: for clarification: To those angry-reacting or laughing—which ...

Copyright theft, Intent to Harm & Meta: I'm so frustrated : Meta has declined one of my copyright reports regarding over 20 incidents where my content was copied and redistributed without my consent, with the intent to cause harm, on the basis that they believe the content may fall under commentary, criticism or parody. My concern is that this decision appears to have been made without considering the wider context. The images form part of an ongoing police-reported cyberstalking investigation, involve my copyrighted photography and branding, and are accompanied by behaviour including repeated image theft, threats and unwanted contact. I've submitted evidence relating to each individual incident and respectfully ask Meta to conduct a full review of the complete evidence rather than assessing individual posts in isolation. Where there is an ongoing pattern of alleged harassment, context matters. I hope Meta's specialist teams will review all of the evidence, apply their ...

The Truth about my false community protection notice: Since those targeting me are sharing my documents under false pretences - I decided to be brave enough to clarify: I couldn't do a video interview about one of my experiences of sexual assault because I was worried about retaliation. I didn't feel protected from that risk, and I stand with all survivors. 💜💜💜 I tried to seek help from a local support group, but in my experience they breached a verbal agreement between the police, the group and myself to remain impartial regarding another incident. After I left, I believe some members were encouraged by the group's facilitator to make false allegations about me, which led to an unsigned and undated Community Protection Notice being issued. That notice has since expired, yet people who have been targeting me online continue to circulate it under false pretences. What is particularly upsetting is seeing people repeat claims without understanding the circumstances. The inf...

TW! DV ⚠️ Bruises: I'm really sorry, but after a two-year battle with an ex and their obsession, I'm incredibly emotional right now because today I was successful in obtaining a six-month non-molestation order against the individual. Not only does this help protect me, but it may also help anyone who needs to report him in the future. They'll be listened to. They'll be believed. 🙏🏻 Safeguarding always matters, and today I'm proud to be a woman who was brave enough to speak up. With the support of the courts, I have upheld my boundaries, and I sincerely hope the mental torture and constant poking at old bruises finally comes to an end. Bad things happen. I've spent too long suffering. Today, I'm proud of myself. I completely broke down after the court hearing and had to ring legal back later because I was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened. But today, the system worked. Today, we succeeded. Today, protections have been put in place that will lif...

Important Announcement: Some unfortunate but true #facts: I have blocked all individuals involved. I have repeatedly asked to be left alone and have taken multiple steps to disengage from all abusive situations. I have never received a police caution and I do not have a criminal record. I stand by challenging harmful behaviour within organisations and communities. If speaking up to protect others attracts criticism, that is something I am prepared to accept. Defending yourself against serious allegations, correcting misinformation, and providing evidence to support your position is not the same as targeting , harassing , or pursuing other people. Such behaviour is something I do not condone and consider entirely unnecessary . What I have experienced is repeated unwanted attention, public discussions about me after boundaries were clearly established, threats, doxxing, hostile comments, attempts to draw others into the situation, and statements that have caused me genuine con...

Online Conduct Has Real-World Consequences: One of the most common misconceptions I see online is the belief that behaviour only matters if someone is directly tagged, named, or if comments are made within a specific group. That simply isn't true. Social media platforms are interconnected spaces. Whether a comment is made on a personal profile, in a public group, on a page, or within a community discussion, the impact can still be very real. People do not need to be directly tagged for discussions to affect them. People do not need to be named for others to know who is being discussed. Context matters. When conversations become focused on individuals rather than issues, the impact can extend far beyond the original post. Rumours spread. Hostility grows. Assumptions are made. People begin taking sides based on partial information rather than evidence. This is particularly important when discussing safeguarding, community management, moderation, advocacy, or any situation involving v...

What To Do When You're the Target of a Hate Campaign By Sarah Wingfield. Most people imagine hate campaigns as something that happens to celebrities, politicians, or people in the public eye. The reality is that they can happen to anyone. A volunteer. An advocate. A business owner. A community organiser. A disabled person speaking up. Someone who simply challenged harmful behaviour and refused to back down. Over the years, I've experienced organised hostility, online pile-ons, false allegations, misinformation, character attacks, stalking behaviours, harassment, and attempts to isolate me from communities I cared about. What I've learned is that hate campaigns often follow recognisable patterns. Understanding those patterns can help people protect themselves and avoid becoming part of the problem. What Is a Hate Campaign? A hate campaign is a sustained effort to damage someone's reputation, credibility, relationships, opportunities, or wellbeing. Sometimes it is highly ...

Polite Notice: As someone who moderates community spaces, I wanted to take a moment to clarify the standards I try to uphold and the values that guide my decisions. Communities work best when people feel safe to participate, share their views, ask questions, and engage in discussion without fear of being attacked, ridiculed, or harassed. I welcome: ✅ Respectful disagreement ✅ Healthy debate ✅ Different political viewpoints ✅ Constructive criticism ✅ Accountability ✅ Safeguarding ✅ Community safety ✅ Open discussion ✅ Treating people with dignity, even when we disagree What I do not support is: ❌ Personal insults and name-calling ❌ Attacks on someone's character, intelligence, appearance, disability, or mental health ❌ False allegations presented as fact without evidence ❌ Bullying, harassment, intimidation, or targeted hostility ❌ Encouraging or justifying abusive behaviour towards others ❌ Attempts to divide communities by creating "us versus them" mentalities ❌ Mocking ...

  Stalking Awareness: Stalking is not always someone hiding in bushes or following a person down the street. Sometimes it looks like: • Repeated unwanted contact • Constant monitoring of someone's online activity • Creating new accounts after being blocked • Repeatedly discussing someone in groups, forums, or chats • Turning up unexpectedly where someone is known to be • Tracking routines, habits, or movements • Sending unwanted gifts or messages • Encouraging others to contact or watch someone • Using intimidation, fear, or obsession to maintain contact What separates stalking from normal interaction is that the contact is unwanted, persistent, and causes distress, fear, or alarm. Many victims spend months or even years questioning themselves before realising what they are experiencing is not normal behaviour. If someone asks for no contact, blocks communication, or clearly withdraws consent for interaction, those boundaries should be respected. Awareness matters because stalking ...

We give people more chances than they need, and more explanations than they deserve - because our intention is resolution. The problem is, not everyone shares that intention. Some people will take your words, twist them, and repurpose them into something they can use to justify their behaviour.  Not because they misunderstood you - but because their goal was never understanding.  It was harm. Once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it. Look at the patterns:  – Who rallies others instead of resolving things directly. – Who hides public attacks behind the word “accountability”. – Who thrives in group pile-ons and audience validation. That’s not growth. That’s performance. And the moment they realise you see them clearly? That’s when it escalates. The truth is, I gave chances. I communicated. I clarified. And now I’m choosing distance - not because I don’t care, but because I care enough about my peace not to stay around energy like that. For those of us with CPTSD, this hits d...

I Don’t Fit — And I’m Tired of Pretending That I Should There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from a single bad day, or even a bad week. It comes from years of accumulation, from layers of experiences that never quite resolve, from constantly having to brace yourself before anything has even happened. It sits in the body, in the nervous system, in the quiet moments where you realise you are already tired before the day has even begun. And that is where I am. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and deeply, fundamentally exhausted. Because the truth is, I don’t fit. Not neatly, not comfortably, not in the way the world seems to expect people to. I don’t fit into the boxes that are presented as “normal”, and I don’t fit into spaces that claim to be inclusive until you exist in a way that challenges them. There is always a line, an invisible one, where acceptance quietly turns into discomfort, where support turns into silence, and where difference becomes something peo...

Let me be heard: I’ve just been given my court hearing date to legally ensure an ex leaves me alone. It’s the morning of my practical driving test. And I sat with that for a moment… not shocked, not even angry, just tired. Because sometimes life doesn’t give you space to process things one at a time. It stacks them. Major, emotional, life-shaping moments, all at once. On one hand, I’m preparing for a court hearing — something that represents boundaries, safety, and closure. On the other, I’m preparing for a driving test — something that represents independence, growth, and moving forward. Both important. Both significant. Both happening together. And it really made me reflect on resilience, not in the idealised sense, but in the very real, human sense. Showing up when you’re in pain. Showing up when your mind is foggy. Showing up when your circumstances feel overwhelming. There’s a narrative that resilience looks like strength and composure at all times, but often it looks like continu...

Accountability isn’t controversial — it’s necessary . If your first instinct is to question what someone was wearing instead of questioning why someone chose to abuse, then you’re not protecting anyone — you’re protecting harm. This is how victim blaming survives. This is how coercion and manipulation stay normalised. This is how people get silenced. Clothing is not consent. Existing is not consent. Abuse is a choice — and that choice belongs entirely to the abuser. We need to stop policing women’s bodies and start challenging dangerous mindsets. Because every time blame is misplaced, you make it easier for abuse to continue. Do better. Learn better. Be better. I’ve just come from a comment thread about school uniforms and dress codes, and honestly, some of the responses have been deeply concerning. We need to be very clear: clothing is not the issue. Abuse is the issue. Control is the issue. Coercion is the issue. Abusers do not abuse because of skirt length, tops, makeup, or what som...

In a world filled with abusers, I would rather whistleblow and safeguard than stay silent and allow harm to continue. You’re not always believed. You’re not always listened to. Often, people only understand once it happens to them too. That’s why abusers hide behind good deeds, reputations, and performative “helping.” Genuine, authentic people take accountability. They correct their behaviour. Apologies come with changed actions. Abusers don’t do that. Instead, they surround themselves with people shouting about the “amazing work” they do — not to protect others, but to silence victims. Some of those people don’t even realise they’re enabling abuse. They think they’re defending someone they admire. But if someone were truly good, there wouldn’t be victims trying to hold them to account. Period. When this behaviour exists inside organisations, support groups, or positions of power, they are not there to help people — they are there to help themselves. Abuse is hidden behind an army. Pow...

Devaluation in Narcissist Parents: They devalue their partner, then their children — then act like it’s someone else’s fault. ❤️‍🩹 Some ways devaluation shows up (especially when children are involved): • Abandonment without accountability Leaving a partner, but telling the child alone, controlling the narrative while excluding the other parent. • Manufactured struggle They create chaos or a “problem,” then present themselves as the hero who “fixed it” to appear like the better parent. • Replacement narratives Telling the child they’ve been “replaced” by an ex-partner or new partner — or implying they are — to provoke fear, insecurity, or loyalty conflict. • Financial avoidance with entitlement They don’t contribute to child trust funds, savings, or long-term security — yet expect the other parent to fund everything while taking credit or demanding access. • Triangulation They pit people against each other (child vs parent, ex vs new partner) to maintain control and avoid accountabili...

 When people speak out, they are doing so to seek resolution and solutions. If someone chooses to remain anonymous, that is a protective and safeguarding measure. It is actually slanderous to assume that anonymous complaints are themselves slander, when the clear intent is to raise concerns, resolve issues, and highlight harm that needs addressing. When people ask for modern-day accountability, it is rarely achieved. Anonymity often provides essential protection for those highlighting genuine issues — especially in environments where people become so loyal to organisations or companies that they attack the complainant instead of allowing harm to be acknowledged and rectified. Feedback is necessary for progress. Speaking about a bad experience is never slander — it is a request for accountability. From personal experience, formal complaints processes can expose people to further abuse, targeting, and retaliation, while still failing to resolve the original issue. If someone chooses ...

We’ve all been there — trying to create positive change, make things better, or simply stay in our own lane. And yet somehow, we find ourselves forced into defending ourselves or de-escalating situations we never caused. It’s important to remember this: we do not deserve to be targets of hate campaigns, nor anyone’s verbal punching bag. This image is dedicated to everyone who has found themselves caught in the middle of a battle they never asked for. I see you. I relate. You are not alone. Sarah Wingfield Independent Disability Advocate Kawaii Doll Decora 🌸 KawaiiDollDecora.uk #art #affirmations #shield #battles #disabilityinclusion #strongertogether #disability #disabilityawareness #disabilitysupport #disabilityrights Alt text: A kawaii-style illustration on a white background featuring a soft pink paint-splatter circle. In the centre is a pastel purple shield with two purple swords crossing behind it. Handwritten text on the shield reads, “I will be shielded from all unwanted battl...

Low Spoons, Real Impact Hey everyone, Today is one of those days where unnecessary negativity has drained my spoons faster than I can replenish them. I’m struggling — but I’ll be okay. I’m trying to anchor myself to my to-do list, because there are things that need doing and people I don’t want to let down. Even when I’m running on empty, that still matters to me. What people often fail to understand is that when platforms and positions are abused — when negativity is encouraged, amplified, or weaponised — it doesn’t stay online. It has real-world consequences. And if you’re disabled, already living with chronic pain, fatigue, and limited capacity, those consequences hit harder. I’m not expecting everyone to understand. I’m not even expecting them to care. Some people genuinely can’t — or won’t — see beyond themselves. But right now, I do need extra support. Not because I’m weak, but because I’m tired. Tired of constant battles. Tired of hate. Tired of being treated like a “nobody” peo...