Devaluation in Narcissist Parents:
Devaluation in Narcissist Parents:
They devalue their partner, then their children —
then act like it’s someone else’s fault. ❤️🩹
Some ways devaluation shows up (especially when children are involved):
• Abandonment without accountability
Leaving a partner, but telling the child alone, controlling the narrative while excluding the other parent.
• Manufactured struggle
They create chaos or a “problem,” then present themselves as the hero who “fixed it” to appear like the better parent.
• Replacement narratives
Telling the child they’ve been “replaced” by an ex-partner or new partner — or implying they are — to provoke fear, insecurity, or loyalty conflict.
• Financial avoidance with entitlement
They don’t contribute to child trust funds, savings, or long-term security — yet expect the other parent to fund everything while taking credit or demanding access.
• Triangulation
They pit people against each other (child vs parent, ex vs new partner) to maintain control and avoid accountability.
• Parental alienation tactics
Subtle digs like “I don’t know why your mum/dad doesn’t try harder” while presenting themselves as the “stable” one.
• Victim reversal
They cause harm, then frame any reaction as proof they’re being “attacked” or “treated unfairly”.
• Image management
They perform being a “great parent” publicly while behaving very differently behind closed doors.
• Conditional affection
Love, praise, or attention is given only when the child agrees with them or mirrors their narrative.
• Undermining confidence
They question the child’s memories, feelings, or perceptions to make them easier to control.
• Using the child as emotional support
Oversharing adult problems, positioning the child as a therapist or emotional caretaker.
• Replacing, then blaming
They introduce a new partner quickly, push the idea of a “new family,” then blame others for the emotional fallout.
• Weaponised comparison
Constantly comparing siblings, parents, or households to create insecurity and competition.
• Gaslighting through “concern”
“I’m only saying this because I care” — while invalidating lived experiences.
• Withholding information
Important decisions about school, health, or routines are made without consultation, then justified as “best for the child”.
• Disappearing accountability
Mistakes are minimised, denied, or reframed as sacrifices they made for everyone else.
Important reminder 🌱
Children are not tools.
Co-parenting is not a competition.
And emotional harm doesn’t disappear just because it’s subtle.
If this resonates with anyone reading:
you’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone.
Sarah Wingfield ❤️
KawaiiDollDecora.uk
#narcissisticabuseawareness #theyplayvictim #devaluation #emotionalabuse #parentalalienation #financialabuse #healing #boundaries #strongertogether
Alt text:
A pastel kawaii-style illustration with a soft pink, blue, and lavender cloud background, sparkles, hearts, and a rainbow across the top. Large bubble text reads “Devaluation in Narcissist Parents.” Below, a heading says “Important reminder” with a small sprout icon. Bullet points state: “Children are not tools,” “Co-parenting is not a competition,” and “And emotional harm doesn’t disappear just because it’s subtle.” Beneath, highlighted text reads: “If this resonates with anyone reading: you’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone.” At the bottom are two cute cartoon characters: a crying bunny holding a broken heart on the left and a sad teddy bear holding a heart on the right. The website credit “KawaiiDollDecora.uk” appears at the bottom, with a vertical “KawaiiDollDecora.uk” watermark along the left side and a small heart-shaped “Kawaii Doll Decora” logo in the top right corner.
