PGP / SPD My story:

  A Stoner in the UK , written by disability advocate and legally prescribed medical-cannabis patient Sarah Wingfield, explores the reality of cannabis use from a UK disability and patient-rights perspective. Drawing upon lived experience, the book challenges outdated stigma, misconceptions and harmful stereotypes surrounding cannabis—particularly when it is used legally as prescribed medication. Medical-cannabis patients should not be treated like criminals, publicly embarrassed or forced to hide the medication they rely upon. Education, dignity and honest conversations matter. Available on Amazon: https://amzn.eu/d/1uHEqbv Sarah Wingfield  KawaiiDollDecora.uk #AStonerInTheUK #SarahWingfield #MedicalCannabis #CannabisIsMedicine #DisabilityAdvocacy #DisabledRights #PatientRights #EndTheStigma #MedicalCannabisUK

Publicly Muted, Warned and Embarrassed for Discussing My Legal Medication -Not a safe space afterall: I came across a creator who appeared to be doing amazing work promoting independent music. A song about cannabis was literally playing during the livestream—yet when I mentioned that I am legally prescribed medical cannabis in the UK, she publicly muted me. When I challenged the behaviour as discrimination, she then publicly warned me in front of everyone. I had broken no laws or clearly stated rules. I was discussing medication legally prescribed to treat my disabilities—not promoting illegal drug use. To publicly single out, silence and embarrass a disabled person for speaking about their lawful medication is unacceptable. Cannabis was apparently acceptable as entertainment in a song, but not when a disabled medical-cannabis patient spoke about the reality of using it. I have since left and blocked the creator. I will not remain in spaces where disabled people are publicly humiliated...

Important Vlog Update, the highs and lows of neighborhoods and industries, how we won't stop or quit and how you could learn from us. Sarah Wingfield  KawaiiDollDecora.uk #vlog #blog #musicartist #actor #filmmaker Watch video from YouTube below: 

The time Junction 7 a charity said this to me "But she looked fine at Ayclive" (when I could still go) lmao  and held my food parcel to ransom (years ago) because I wanted to help my community with delivery for elderly and disabled and they claimed that was me slxgging them off lol.  #ableism I avoid any charities that make my life harder now. I don't forget when and how and who has treated me badly, I just advocate so others don't have to endure the same mistreatment, and I'm glad I'm nothing like those who #harmed me when I needed #help instead. ❤️❤️❤️ I never dared ask them for help ever again and never have, and have had their supporters supporting this mistreatment and hating on me.  Tells me everything.  Sarah Wingfield  KawaiiDollDecora.uk

New Drip! 🔥🪓 K•Doll Merch Has Landed The Dark Carnival wardrobe just got a little louder. 🎪💗🖤 I’ve been building more of the K•Doll universe, and that now includes a growing collection of merch inspired by the music, the clown persona, the artwork and the community around it. From K•Doll clothing and mugs to coasters, plushies, gift bags and original designs, there’s a little bit of chaos for everyone. Some pieces are bright, cute and unmistakably K•Doll, while others lean into the darker horrorcore/Juggalo side of the project. One of my favourites is the “Stay Clownin’” design — because if there’s one thing K•Doll is going to do, it’s stay unapologetically weird. 😂🤡 There’s also my “I’m proud of my sober homies” artwork, dedicated to openhearted Juggalos and recovery support. That one means something deeper to me. Community isn’t only about the music or aesthetic; it’s about showing up for people, celebrating progress and reminding people that they still belong. K•Doll has alwa...

POTS Is Not “Just a Fast Heart Rate” My heart rate was 88 bpm. I stood up. It went to 134 bpm within four minutes. That’s a rise of 46 beats per minute just from changing position. For adults, one of the diagnostic features of Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is a sustained increase in heart rate of 30 bpm or more within 10 minutes of standing, alongside symptoms of orthostatic intolerance and without the significant blood pressure drop that would point more towards orthostatic hypotension. So while one smartwatch reading alone does not diagnose POTS, a jump like 88 → 134 bpm shows exactly why simply standing can be difficult. Thankfully, I have been diagnosed and have managed my POTS for years now. And this is something people often misunderstand. Someone with POTS can sometimes manage sitting, moving around or even walking better than standing still. That doesn’t mean the condition is mild. It means the body is having to work differently to keep blood circulating properly while u...

  We Are the Dark Carnival — So Start Acting Like Fam When people talk about celebrities, artists or anyone with a bit of notoriety, there’s often so much negativity attached to it. That isn’t what I want K•Doll to be remembered for. I want people to remember me as the hype girl. The weird creative clown with creativity running through her blood, but also someone who made people feel good about themselves. I want people to be able to say: “I remember when K•Doll told me my hair looked amazing.” “I remember when K•Doll told me to stay strong when I was struggling.” “I remember when K•Doll shared my music.” “I remember feeling like she was actually in my corner.” That’s the legacy I want. I already have some notoriety, and I actually downplay a hell of a lot of what I’ve achieved. I’ve been internationally published as an alternative model and built platforms across creative, professional and community spaces. But I don’t walk into a room screaming my CV at people. Most people who m...

When an Autistic Brain Can’t Just “Move On” Just because an autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person is still talking about something that hurt them does not automatically mean they are attention-seeking, dramatic, “obsessed,” or refusing to move on. Sometimes the brain genuinely has not finished processing what happened. Rumination is when the mind keeps circling back to the same event, conversation, question or feeling, often trying to understand it, make sense of it, work out what should have happened differently, or resolve something that still feels unfinished. For autistic people, this can be especially intense because several autistic traits can make painful or confusing situations much harder to mentally put down. Perseveration can make it difficult to disengage from a thought once it has become emotionally significant. Monotropic attention can cause the brain to focus very deeply on a small number of things at once. If one of those things is an unresolved conflict, injustic...

DARVO, AuDHD and Why Community Groups Can Become So Difficult Community groups are supposed to help people feel connected, informed and safe... But they can quickly become difficult when personal loyalties, gossip, misunderstandings and group politics take over. For autistic and ADHD people, those environments can be especially difficult because communication differences are often judged as attitude. AuDHD people may communicate directly, take words literally, struggle with unspoken social rules, become overwhelmed by conflict or feel a strong need to correct something that is unfair or inaccurate. That can create a familiar problem: The original behaviour gets ignored, while the neurodivergent person's reaction becomes the main issue. That is exactly what happened to me recently, and the person involved used a very recognisable DARVO pattern. What is DARVO? DARVO stands for: Deny — deny, minimise or reframe the behaviour being challenged. Attack — turn attention onto the person ...

This Life Chose Me: Filmmaking, Acting and the Reality Behind the Glamour Something happened recently within one of my filmmaking circles that made me want to speak on something a little bigger than one bit of drama. Scare actors are not movie actors. That doesn’t mean scare acting isn’t valid, because it absolutely is. It takes confidence, timing, physicality, presence, improvisation and the ability to create an immediate reaction. But screen acting is a different discipline. Playing an actual character with history, flaws, emotions, relationships, motivations and a completely different personality is not as easy as good actors make it look. And good actors really do make it look easy. It isn’t. You can be filming one emotional scene in the morning, something completely different later, then return to that first emotional state from another angle and have to match the same performance all over again. Some scare actors can absolutely cross over and be brilliant screen actors too, but n...

On the #AssistedDyingBill: I live with disabilities that cause suffering I cannot simply “recover” from. But I also love being alive. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. I am strongly pro-choice. I believe adults should have autonomy over their own bodies and, in the right circumstances, I can understand wanting the legal right to decide when enough is enough. But autonomy means the decision has to be genuinely YOURS. No coercion. No manipulation. No subtle suggestion that your care costs too much, that your family would be better off without you, that you're a burden, or that death is somehow more appropriate than giving you the support you need to live. That is where my fear comes from. As a disabled woman, I have personally experienced ignorance, cruelty and treatment from people and systems that were supposed to protect me — experiences that contributed to my PTSD. Disabled people are still abused, dehumanised, threatened and treated as though our lives have less value...

Chronic pain days. 🖤 I’m on day twenty-something now. At this point I’ve honestly lost count. This is the side of chronic pain that people don’t always see. I might still post, create, laugh, message people, advocate, work on music or share little pieces of my life — but none of that means I’m not hurting. Some days are manageable. Some are brutal. Some blur into the next until you realise you’ve been in a flare for weeks. I don’t show you every bad pain day, because if I did, chronic pain would become my entire online identity — and I am so much more than the pain I live with. But those days still exist. Today is another sofa, comfort object, pain-management, take-it-as-it-comes kind of day. Still here. Still creating when I can. Still finding little bits of myself between the difficult moments. 💗✨ Not seeing someone’s pain doesn’t mean they aren’t living through it. Sarah Wingfield Actor • Author • Advocate KawaiiDollDecora.uk #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #DisabledAndProud #Invisib...

K•Doll Makes Juggalo History — Welcome to the Multiverse 🎪💗🖤 K•Doll is my alter-ego clown persona, and somehow this wonderful little Juggalo music journey has turned into something much bigger than I ever expected. I accidentally became what I believe to be the first UK female Juggalo music artist, and honestly? That opens up a whole new multiverse of possibilities. 😉 If you don’t know K•Doll yet, she’s my creative alter ego — a rising UK independent artist blending horrorcore, alternative rap, dark humour, vulnerability, community spirit and a whole lot of clown energy. I’ve spent years working in advocacy, charity and community spaces, and music has become another way for me to do what I’ve always tried to do: help people feel seen, heard and less alone. My music is available across streaming platforms, and I use it to express pain, raise awareness, tell stories, challenge injustice, process trauma, uplift people and sometimes simply give people something to scream along to when ...

Lil' 'Hood of Horrors: ChatGPT actually cheered me up! 😂 I ended up venting to the poor thing about what’s been happening with one of Peter’s neighbours after I woke up at 4am, already in agony, saw I’d been removed from the local community WhatsApp group, and immediately had my RSD go: OH, WE’RE DOING THIS NOW ARE WE? To some people, being removed from a neighbourhood group probably sounds tiny. But for me, it wasn’t really about a group chat. I stay at Peter’s regularly because he’s my partner and also supports me, and being in the group helped me keep an eye on what was happening locally. When you’re disabled, neurodivergent, dealing with chronic pain and already trying to manage a dysregulated nervous system, feeling informed about your surroundings can be part of feeling safe. So being excluded, especially after being made to feel like I “don’t belong” because I’m not on his tenancy, and being compared to his ex partner, as though she was somehow more acceptable, hit hard...

You want to know real heartache? I had to sign my child over to my parents when he was two years old and undergoing cancer treatment because I believed that was the only way to protect him from a system I no longer trusted. So please do not tell me that children are never separated from their families without serious failings by the parent. I have lived through a situation where disability itself was treated as a reason to question my ability to parent. There are also families of disabled children who have spent years trying to explain unexplained bruising, fractures or other symptoms before an underlying condition is finally identified. When professionals misunderstand disability or rare medical conditions, the consequences for families can be devastating. In some cases, by the time a diagnosis is reached, relationships and placements have already been profoundly affected. My son was, and is, incredibly precious to me. I became disabled during pregnancy and used a wheelchair, includin...

Delulu until Successu 💅🏻✨ My 2026 Mantra. Finished this bright, chaotic little piece and I’m obsessed with how it came together. 💖 Leopard print nails, neon colours, sparkles, bubble lettering and pure delusional confidence. 😂✨ Sometimes you really do have to be a little bit delulu and keep believing in the thing until it finally starts becoming real. Keep creating. Keep dreaming. Keep going. 💅🏻 Sarah Wingfield KawaiiDollDecora 🎨💖 #KawaiiDollDecora #DeluluUntilSuccessu #DigitalArt #DigitalArtist #KawaiiArt #PopArt #NeonArt #ColourfulArt #BubbleLettering #NailArt #LeopardPrint #AlternativeArt #AltArtist #CuteArt #DoodleArt #Illustration #DigitalIllustration #IbisPaint #CreativeLife #ArtistLife #WomenWhoCreate #DisabledArtist #NeurodivergentArtist #ArtPost #KeepCreating #Delulu #Successu Alt text: Bright neon digital illustration with a vivid pink, blue and purple patterned background. In the centre is a hot-pink sticker-style shape outlined in yellow, featuring a stylised hand w...

Don’t talk to me about “real strength”. People don’t see the struggles that happen behind the screens. The pain. The breakdowns. The tears. The days where simply existing takes everything you have. People might look at disabled people and think we’re weak, but some of us are the toughest people you will ever meet — because we endure. We adapt. We stick around. We keep going, even when our bodies are screaming at us to stop. Tonight, I’m in tears. Peter made me a coffee, I’ve got the TV on, I’m doing my pain management, and the sofa has basically been my home for the last fortnight. My hair is knotted up. I’m exhausted. I don’t know how much longer this pain flare is going to last. And this is the side people don’t always see. Chronic illness and disability don’t just affect the person living with them. They affect relationships, plans, routines, independence, confidence, intimacy — and the people who love us too. They affect all those tiny, everyday things able-bodied people can often ...

Disability Didn’t Become “Cool” — Disabled People Became Visible A recent Telegraph article titled “How having a disability became cool” describes young women with chronic illnesses and disabilities as “ sickfluencers ” and links rising diagnosis, social media visibility, SEND support and disability benefits with ideas around overdiagnosis, identity and economic inactivity. As someone who has advocated for disabled people for more than two decades, I find that framing deeply concerning. There are valid conversations to be had about online misinformation, people selling questionable health advice, undisclosed advertising and the risks of self-diagnosis. Those things should absolutely be challenged. But that is very different from casting suspicion over disabled people as a whole. Women with POTS, autism, ADHD, chronic pain, ME/CFS, EDS and other less-visible conditions are repeatedly positioned as though increased awareness and diagnosis may itself be evidence that something has gone w...

When Support Becomes Separation: Why Families Need Help Before Harm: Every time I read another story about a mother having her newborn removed, it breaks my heart. I am not naïve about safeguarding. I know there are situations where children genuinely need protection, and when a child is at immediate risk, intervention is necessary. But safeguarding should not mean automatically jumping to separation when support, assessment, rehabilitation and practical help could make a family safe. I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of systems that can be frightening, dismissive and deeply harmful when they get things wrong. I fought for my rights. I challenged decisions. I kept going. I did what I had to do. Reading about women who have not been so lucky absolutely destroys me. What especially troubles me is seeing somebody’s past used as though it permanently defines their future. A woman may have experienced trauma, addiction, mental ill-health, abuse, homelessness, exploitatio...

“Why don’t you just get paid work?” Ah yes… because apparently nobody facing disability, inaccessible workplaces or discrimination has ever thought of that one before. 🤣 This is exactly why I talk about systemic ableism. The assumption that someone who isn’t in conventional paid employment simply isn’t trying completely ignores the barriers disabled people can face when trying to access, remain in, or create sustainable work. I am trying to build paid work for myself. I create, advocate, support people, develop projects and work towards making what I do financially sustainable. The issue isn’t a lack of effort. It’s the confidence some people have in judging a life they haven’t taken five minutes to understand. Ask questions. Have a different perspective. Discuss difficult subjects. But assumptions aren’t facts — and “just get a job” isn’t a solution to systemic barriers. 💪🏻✨ #DisabilityAdvocacy #Ableism #SystemicAbleism #DisabledAndWorking #DisabilityAwareness #AccessibilityMatters...

 @osmanayshea | Ayshea Osman | Mike Davies  Book Review: What He Couldn’t Take by Ayshea Osman — 8/10 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ What He Couldn’t Take by Ayshea Osman is a raw, reflective and deeply personal memoir about survival, the patterns that shape us, and the long, complicated process of reclaiming yourself after domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a cause very close to my heart, and as a survivor myself, I read this book with a level of understanding that went beyond simply reviewing the words on the page. There are parts of Ayshea’s story that will feel painfully familiar to people who have lived through controlling, frightening or damaging relationships: the gradual erosion of boundaries, the instinct to keep the peace, the hope that love and patience might somehow be enough, and the painful realisation that surviving can sometimes mean having to choose yourself. What gives this memoir strength is the way Ayshea looks beyond a single relationship and reflects on the patterns that began...