My healing journey:
As I'm on my own healing journey and have been for some time, I find the world a difficult and unsafe place for myself and I spoke to the crisis team today as I sometimes do the work and research to find better coping methods so I can be the best version of me I can be and so that I can show up for others better.
If I'm a mess I can't help anyone not even myself.
I'm sharing something that's one of my flaws/things I need to change and this advice may be helpful.
I don't have all the answers and never have but when I find something useful I like to share in the hopes others can be comforted or guided without the despair or stress or struggle or research that I've endured/done.
Hope this helps:l - On learning to let go:
Why Unjust Pain Lingers:
1. The need for acknowledgment or repair: You were wronged, and nothing was done to make it right.
2. Rumination as self-protection: You replay it because you're trying to understand it or prevent it from happening again.
3. Loss of control: You didn’t choose it, and it left a mark that’s hard to live with.
4. Moral injury: It hurt not just emotionally, but spiritually—because it violated your sense of what’s right.
What Might Help You Let Go Without Betraying Yourself:
1. Radical Acceptance (Not the same as Approval)
Say: “This shouldn’t have happened—but it did.”
It's not about condoning it. It's about releasing the fight against reality so you can reclaim your energy.
2. Create Symbolic Justice
Write the truth from your perspective. Make a video, a letter, a piece of art, even if no one sees it but you.
Imagine your younger self or present self being heard and protected. Let the justice happen in your mind and heart if not in reality.
3. Put the Responsibility Where It Belongs
Remind yourself: “Their behavior was a reflection of them, not of me.”
You don’t need to carry shame or self-blame for someone else’s cruelty, ignorance, or cowardice.
4. Let Go for You, Not for Them
Forgiveness is not always the goal—freedom is.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or absolving. It means refusing to let the past steal any more of your present.
5. Channel It Into Something Bigger
Use your story to help others. Use your voice, your creativity, your compassion.
Sometimes, we can’t get justice from the world, so we create it in the world.
I do my best with all of these already so atleast I know I'm on the right path. 🙏🏻❤️
Sarah Wingfield ❤️
