Rock Top!
For those that actually know me, they'll know the hardships and struggles I'm currently facing and how even at my worst, how I show up for others. You get tired though, of ignorance, lack of investigation and research, lack of fact checking, lack of respect and you get so tired of hardship after hardship.
Right now I'm just taking hit after hit and I'm collecting the rocks thrown at me cause I'm already at rock bottom and have been for a while and I'm going to use them to build a better life for myself.
I may be at rock bottom but screw that I'm renaming it rock top! Life does not get to be this hard and gets away with it. Yea universe you heard me!
As an artist I reflect on how the world is, which is an artists duty and I've been blogging for 25 years, lost my others so this one that I have left I've had for 16 of those years. Facts matter, behaviour has a pattern, the truth lies there in plain sight for all to see but often overlooked and replaced with projection and assumptions.
I blog because I've had to deal and cope with a lot alone and I am an artist and people may not understand or grasp that but they're not my people. I still wish them well and no I don't want to entertain them and if that makes me a bad person then they can think that of me but one day they're going to have to face their own flaws and fix themselves and that's their duty to.
I don't lie. I struggle, I call myself out all the time so forgive me if I don't need others to stick their ego in. I check myself and fix myself so forgive me for not needing, wanting or condoning 'fake' care. It is fake though because people who actually care don't have a 'LOOK AT ME BEING A SAINT' mentality. I'm far from a saint but I do my best and no abuse is ever okay. I'm sorry if I see Neurotypical ego flexing over morals and assume they're Neurotypical, it's not my fault some who choose NT traits and abusive behaviour then turn out to actually be Neurodivergent, but you see how that's worse right? Riiight?!
We have enough of clique-politics and belittling mentalities from the NT communities so forgive me for wanting you to be BETTER and forgive me for ACTUALLY asking you to consider how you behave so we can all be a better society. I'm so sorry I'm not the fake person you want me to be so you can condone mistreatment and I'm sorry you choose false narratives that fit how you choose to feel about me over who and how I actually am.
I can't force you to see me. I can't make anyone care.
I don't need external validation but I do appreciate kindness when it's shown, which is unfortunately rare as people focus on ego over what's actually the right and fair thing to do.
If people need to belittle people to show they're a good person then what's reality tell you? You know the answer without me saying it. Well done. That's a start! Acknowledge the facts, you can do it!
Good people check themselves and don't belittle unless it is holding a mirror up to poor behaviour in the hope others realise that what they're doing is not good, even good intentions can lead to harmful behaviour. I'm proud I fix me. Is that what scares you? Makes me an easy target for your projection and assumptions?
I won't apologise for being self-aware and I will always admit fault when I'm in the wrong. I don't need to be bullied to do it. It's laughable you even condone bullying. Have at it. I will remove you from access so quickly you will get social media whiplash!
None of us are perfect and my points made in my recent video were literally proven in the real world by real people who didn't listen to a single word I said and whose behaviour I had actually already predicted, which ironically just reinforced my points.
Those who seek facts get it, those who relate get it. My video as much hate as it will get and I even say that in it, isn't for the haters. It's for those struggling and who relate. Those like me who know they deserve respect and rarely get it. And it's just suggestive advice for people to choose to handle things better even if they genuinely believe they're in the right.
If you respond to that with hostilities then you are doing exactly what I pointed out that is wrong with society so thank you for showing that what I said is factual. Thank you for showing people need to be better. I don't appreciate the hate of course but I appreciate you cementing my points. Very grateful.
People can't see they're proving me right but they can't see facts from opinions and I can't change that but I can choose to fix me when I'm the issue, I choose to be a truth teller because that's just how I'm made and yes I'm controversial and people love to hate me sometimes but atleast I'm real, genuine and authentic.
Like I said and I reiterate, my video isn't for you haters who can't check yourselves or own your flaws and mistakes, it's for those of us who see how the world is and struggle to navigate it, those of us who seek help and support to only receive the opposite, those of us who see things for how they are and desperately want the world and people to be better and do better and actually mean it when they advocate for support, welfare or mental health. You can't be an advocate for those things whilst doing harmful things to others. It doesn't work like that.
I know I've burst another bubble of delulu for those that think it does, but this is your wake tf up call. It's up to you whether you acknowledge it and choose to be better or not.
Project that!
Anyways, I've rambled and I am not understood because people can't understand depth when they don't have it, they can only see others to the extent they see themselves and if you lie to yourself or behave in certain ways for agendas or malicious reasons of course you're going to convince yourself others do the same as you. We don't.
But you tell us everything about you when you assume things and claim things. We see why you think that way because you base it off how YOU behave not how others do.
We can't change how you misuse certain behaviours and words and we can't change your intentions but you falsely convince yourself that others are like you with the same poor intentions and I pity that you do that.
I pity that you don't gather perspectives and simply assume everyone is like you, some of us take all bad as lessons and know that lessons can be blessings and some of us are truth speakers simply cause we document what happens to us as it happens with literally no other agenda than to try and understand why the world is like this.
If you can't see that we can't help you, so keep convincing yourself opinions are facts, keep telling yourself what you need to hear to justify or condone negative actions but don't be upset when those of us who are authentic get tired of the BS and block and avoid you.
Keep your fake caring, keep your lying to yourself and keep your assumptions that you create to convince yourself of things to justify bad behaviour. That's something you need to work on.
Yea I know I'm hated, I know I'm controversial, but I get people talking about what actually matters and I get those who are capable of it, to self reflect and become better; when all you do is lash out.
Good luck with that.
Actioning genuine positive change is painful, heartbreaking, isolating, but it's necessary.
I don't like this world and I won't pretend to, but atleast I do right by myself, my pets, those in my life and those who like me are misunderstood, bullied, belittled and forced to live on the fringe of society. We exist too and my videos and voice is FOR THEM, not for you haters. Hate away but it's only cause you lie to yourself and project your hate for yourself onto others.
Hate solves nothing and I feel like a broken record stuck on repeat but if that's what it takes to get people to eventually listen, so be it.
Staying kind is harder, but it is so worth it.
I'm far from perfect, I react when provoked sometimes instead of walking away, unkindness and injustice stirs a storm deep within me to the point I want to scream and wake people up to how they really are and how hurtful they're being, but not everyone is ready to wake up to accept that, it would mean accepting they're not as kind as they originally thought and they can't stand that idea.
I'm sorry for those. I truly am.
I do my best every day to be the woman I want to be and that's all that matters, whether people are capable of seeing that, or not.
The world's hurting right now, and no one is really okay; people need to ask themselves every time they make a decision, am I actually helping or am I seeking people to THINK I'm helping whilst I'm actually causing damage.
When people start to self reflect, the world will take a huge shift for the better.
Sometimes doing the right thing is more important than feeling 'right'.
I hope truly some people understand this blog entry, but I acknowledge and accept most won't.
Sarah ❤️
