PGP / SPD My story:

 My collection: (poem) I miss the hand holding, But I don't miss the bruises left from the harm. I miss the cuddles, But not the coercion, belittling or lack of calm. I miss the company, But not the fear and tension. I miss the comforting, But not when it was intermittent or non-existent. I miss the daftness and the laughs, But not the mood changes and the scars. I miss the fun we had, But not the fun you had at my expense. I miss the connection, But you connected with everything and everyone at a fast pace. I miss the late night talks, But not the fact you never saw me as a human. I miss the love, Even if it was just an illusion. I've collected all the good parts, Put them in a box tied with a bow. I flick through them sometimes, wishing you were the person you faked to be, such a good show. I've taken all the trauma, the pain and the bad, Put them in a different box, never to be opened again, locked hard. I may miss aspects and I may hold the good we had gently, But I'

 Some people don't realise that home can be a person, they are always chasing greener grass and flexing their ego, they never realise when they have an authentic lass and they waste their time and energy being fake and abusive ... Do they ever think about how they self sabotage? How they could have had everything in life, including real love, or does that scare them so much they have to leave a trail of broken people behind, they have to lash out at every possibility... Do they think of what they've done? Do they reflect? Do they miss the authentic ones they throw away? Do they have a conscience? Does harm and sadism really benefit them? Trauma is never necessary and yet there's so much of it, people cause and leave behind too much of it. When will people start self reflection instead of negative visual affiliations to create negative narratives about others so they can feel better about their own flaws and lives... Why can't they figure out that if they stopped busying

Twisted bitter souls Judging from their plastic pedestals Forever creating narratives To blame others for the world Refusing to look within Careful when you hold a mirror up They'll fight you to the death Just to hide their flaws themselves  Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹

I'd like to handle some joy, hold it in my hands so preciously, gaze at it, feed it a little, stroke it's little head, tell it that we'd like to see more of it please and share it with others... It's hard to feel joy when most of the time you have to deal with stressful or negative situations, especially in regards to your own body and disabilities, pain management is important but what if you want a few days detox, I do this from time to time and I find tolerating the bad pain triggers my depression. It's a vicious cycle and it's hard to find a balance so you wing it, listening to your body when you can and trying hard to get things done that are required of you with little to no support, takes its toll too. I'm spending less and less time online as more and more bitterness is prominent and people lash out these days and never communicate properly, it's heartbreaking. I managed to get all my courses done for DCC albeit for one part because it's not

  PCOS and Endometriosis isn't just random hair growth and severe pain... It's periods like this : Still in pain, drained and wish it would go away now. Need the biggest hug ever... 🥹❤️‍🩹 #awareness #disabilities #dismenorreia #chronicpain #pcos #endometriosiswarrior #agony #EDhS #pots #Disability #support #lowmood #stress #illhealth 

 💚We don't have to be 'nice' to people who suck. ♥️We can say NO and we don't have to explain it. 💚We don't have to take aggression or abuse simply cause someone feels like it. ♥️We are allowed to take up space when the system won't make room for us. 💚We can say NO and walk away from disrespect even if we're blamed or labeled the problem/villain. ♥️We don't have to take sexualised compliments well and you're allowed to be offended, we are all the time but we smile and walk away. 💚We can show skin if we want to it's our body not yours. ♥️Our choices are not up for discussion, dictaters are ugly souls anyways. 💚NO MEANS NO. ♥️How much abuse you can tolerate is NOT a sign of love or strength. 💚Never water yourself down or silence yourself. ♥️Other people's behaviour says everything about them and nothing about you. Girls deserve better. Your daughter's deserve better. Your sisters deserve better. Your mother's deserve better. Your

That quote is from a bloke worker that I told I needed help as I couldn't queue for long at AGLOW BISHOP AUCKLAND last year, I couldn't sit on the floor as I was menstrual so nearly fainted instead. He made me queue anyway. When he said that to me I didn't even reply or look at him or acknowledge it. I am not going to allow society to SHAME me for being disabled ANYMORE.  The hate tirades can hate away.  I'm tough, I'll take it. Change is necessary and no punk or anarchists created change without holding up mirrors to what is WRONG with society. Events need to consider ALL mobility aids and disability aids and need to be INCLUSIVE. Period. Oh and I'll bark like a dog to get my points across if need be, better than having abuse being barked at you for asking for accomodation or support that's NEEDED, not an ego flex or demand! People need to take a stand, (or a sit in this case) until the world wakes up to how it mistreats people. Sarah. #disabilityawareness

Autism: Targets of Abuse: The aggressive reactions neurotypical individuals sometimes have towards autistic people, even when the autistic person has good intentions, can arise from a combination of social, cognitive, and cultural factors. Firstly, autistic individuals often communicate or express themselves in ways that do not align with typical social norms. This can lead to misinterpretation. For instance, directness, limited eye contact, or unusual body language might be perceived as rude or inappropriate, even when their intentions are entirely positive. Neurotypical individuals may mistake these differences as signs of defiance, disrespect, or aggression. Another issue is the misunderstanding of intentions. Autistic people may sometimes struggle to express emotions or empathy in ways expected by neurotypical individuals. As a result, their protective or caring behaviour might go unrecognised, with others assuming they are being intrusive, blunt, or socially inappropriate. This ca

 It's always a shame when people let the bad behaviour of one person to taint all the innocent hard workers that worked their socks off for creative productions... It's never a one person show and shame on people for making innocents suffer because of the behaviour of one person. In history a lot of creatives are A holes but there's morals and important lessons in their work, if we boycotted everything connected to an evil person we'd have nothing left including no kids TV. People seem to forget that a lot of education and books we rely on for major life lessons were too created by creeps or A holes. It's ok to boycott an Individual and hate what they do but it's illogical to apply that to the works of fiction they create, and this is why modern day society would never have survived or thrived in the past. No one knows HOW to be offended these days they end up harming creative endeavours instead. The creative industries are the ones that need the most support an

 ..and I stay proud of that fact every single day. Image reads " Crazy part is, I don't have it in me to do people how they've done me ." - The Soul Leaf.

...And yet Paul Howarth couldn't print me huh? Yea.. Lol. Sometimes your own town peers can't support you and that's okay, I tried to get a paid article but was put off by being screamed at with sarcastic abuse. I will never apologise for wanting respect and it's never my fault when people choose to be disrespectful. I'm in my own lane. Still no apologies and I won't hold my breath, I'd suffocate before that bloke saw the errors of his ways. Also well done to everyone who gets in the paper, everyone is worthy of acknowledgement for their hard work and achievements. Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹  With proof that it's a choice to be abusive and a choice not to print people. @newtonnews  @newtonpress Sarah @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ P.s: ... hmm and notice how they're ALL MEN too, wouldn't dare cut a man out the paper or scream at them..just an observation... 

Saturday September 7th 2024  Life in a New Town.  -Sarah, Aycliffe Uncensored  With thanks to, Great Aycliffe Town Council  Durham County Council .

 I love that I'm that dorky I been celebrating my STARmeter backwards, so I been celebrating my unpopularity ahaha LOVE IT, only me ahaha XD So my best rating was 164,910! But just let me celebrate my unpopularity if it makes me happy and gets me through bad pain days ahahah 🌹  I'm so weird. But someone had the balls to tell me and THANK YOU!! The lower the number, the better the rating... Meh I celebrate everything these days, too many things happen that cause your soul so much pain so why the hell not! Dork for life y'all! Sarah 😜💀 xx

I am proud to add City Rush 4 to my list of movies I'm producing, I just became an assistant producer of this latest gem by award winning actor, producer and Director George Tounas! Creative avenues are always of interest to me and they tend to lose out the most on social media; my little way of supporting people's creative dreams and aspirations lately has been going down the movie production avenues and helping promote and support creative endeavours. This latest movie is by George Tounas and here is a little bit more information on this latest project: Producer, director and a leading actor is award-winning actor and filmmaker George Tounas. The movie was produced by George Tounas Films in cooperation with PPM Film Production. George Tounas: https://www.imdb.me/georgetounas George Tounas Films: https://www.facebook.com/GeorgeTounasFilms PPM Film Production: http://www.ppm-film.de Cinematographer/camera operators and replacements: Frieder Wiech: https://www.crew-united.com/de

 The results of Wednesday 4th September 2024's Great Aycliffe Town Council meeting: RE Bus Stop Seating: They are installing some on the train station (Linden Place) stops for now and are requesting more information and reports in regards to other stops. I brought up the vision being obscured by no window/opening in Tesco's stops too and they will be looking into that for everyone. I can't thank Great Aycliffe Town Council enough for the amazing efforts they put into creating this report and discussing the bus stop seating in detail tonight. Thank you, and I am grateful for the council. I hope this will help a lot of people and I know I've not changed a lot but this is a great win for those who struggle around the Train Station Bus Stops, you won't have to sit on the floor any longer. If you need anything please be confident enough to approach the council and have them put it on the agenda for discussion, Newtonians definitely matters to them and they are here to he

  It's exhausting when every single thing is a fight and you do your best to try and make progress when others constantly put you down. They don't help, it's easier to be cruel and say horrible things to hurt you than to help. Well yesterday I got a phone call out of the blue and I'm so grateful about it. The lady I spoke to seemed absolutely lovely which put all my unrest and anxiety in regards to past experiences with adult social services at rest. She was polite and friendly and has made an appointment to come and assess my needs, I'm finally feeling like my endless struggle for help may be coming to an end. As I currently study safeguarding children courses to make a positive difference in the world and work exceptionally hard towards the independent visitor position for children in the care system, and sent away for my provisional looking to eventually get a car, I finally feel like I may be able to get some much needed support. I'm trying not to get ahead

(I keep focusing on positives and try and heal) When people use your disability to hate on you I've found the police don't take notice instead asking what they said about it, when it's more subtle to hate someone due to disabilities and they don't record hate crimes as hate crimes. They keep claiming I'm faking my disability but they're abusive after that fact so I don't think statistics are correct in regards to disabilities and hate crimes and that is a HUGE issue for us disabled and neurospicy. Whenever disability is brought into it it's clear they're hating ON YOU and your disability so it should always be recorded as HATE CRIMES. It may have been triggered on the back of the smear campaigns an ex partner started and drama in my street but that just goes to show how easy some people are to be manipulated and just how damaging narcissists are. They hate you already (clearly) so they're eager to jump on the bandwagon the narcissist has left beh

If I have to lose everything I've built up again to find peace then I will. I want to start enjoying life again instead of just surviving it.

 It's hard to be human in a world that wants you to be a robot, wants you not to react to despicable abuse, wants you to hate yourself and convince you you're deserving of abuse. You're not allowed to be upset, you're not allowed to exist, you're not allowed to react and of course you're not allowed to try and make your own life better. I'm done trying to dance around the ever changing beats of other people. I'm going to dance to my own drum and keep away from people and next time someone starts it's a NO from me and the police cause I can't be chewed. I'm in the middle of major flare ups, dismennoreah, muscle seizures and cramps, dizzy spells and pain and I will no longer allow other people to add stress and issues to that. No I'm not okay. But I hope to be soon. Sarah x

Frickin' better be cause at this rate I feel like some bullies won't be happy til I'm harmed or dead... ..also i will never 'master' peace when people are bringing shiistorms into my lane on top of the hell I already live with agony daily. I don't have the energy levels and pain free experiences others do so when pushed I will break and I will react but I never ever threaten and never will and people can lie and say I do but they know the truth too and it's easier to label me the problem and say I deserve abuse than look at the sadistic and horrific ways they choose to harm others and behave. So nah, I'll never master peace but I will say NO to idiots and abuse and anyone and anything from now that mistreats me or brings problems to MY lane. Even if I end up just writing books from home and drop and lose everything (like I am) then atleast I'm still doing something with my little life and the haters can suck it. Sarah x

Even when the world and people and systems are adamant on making problems out of thin air, even when other people think they can treat you abysmally, even when others target you to be abusive (let the police deal with it), even when you feel like existing and living is pointless. Keep going. It's not your fault other people won't take the time to get to know you for you. It's not your fault other people can't see your worth. It's not your fault when systems and individuals act unprofessionally. Use all of the above as the universe guiding you. Go where it takes you, embrace those who embrace you, avoid those who are disrespectful, confusing or unprofessional. Learn where your space is instead of waiting for others to make space for you. They won't. So straighten your crown and focus on all you're working on and towards. You can action positive change and make a positive difference without those who are keen to accuse, mislabel, abuse or drag you down. Your n

I think this is the universe telling me what's NOT for me at this rate so I can avoid and stop wasting my time in places that aren't valuable for me and don't treat me with respect. I'm trusting the universe and it's showing me where I'm respected and where I'm not. Thank you for the lessons. Sarah. @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡

You are allowed to defend yourself, ask for better treatment, ask for respect. Never let the way others conduct themselves stop you from conducting yourself or expressing yourself or defending yourself. Too many are unprofessional and unkind these days. Stay you and stay problem solving! Sarah x

I got a very unprofessional email (linkedin message) today after promoting the college and resharing several courses I shared this: A colleague had been informed that due to numbers the policing course can't go ahead. (My formal complaint via email is at the bottom of this blog post) So I simply shared a list of their nutritional courses (also helpful) and added if anyone was interested in the level three policing course to enroll asap (based on the information provided we didn't want to lose the course) I received this: I still haven't heard anything official from the college yet and I'm not happy with being told I'm not allowed to share courses to enrol. But to be honest the accusations of misinformation irk me to my core especially without any official correction or context. So I've blocked Adam on LinkedIn and I'm done with Bishop Auckland College now. I am removing myself SO FAST from everyone and everywhere that chooses disrespect over thoughtfulness. 

I've been trying to get my head around the abuse I've been faced with lately and processing everything and I think it boils down to a couple of things. Control, ego and false narratives, and the fact I see through people and won't pretend they're something they aren't, hence I've avoided the worst of them. Refused one neighbours multiple friend requests after she showed me who SHE was and keep blocking her profiles and her stalking ex's profiles (who keeps popping up now and then totally obsessed with me in the past.) Is that why you don't like me girl? He liked my raunchy pics on Facebook while dating you? Was that why you treated the fight the neighbour started the other day like a disco? Prancing up and down the street with the smug look on ya face like a party was happening? Meh I don't care why just stay tf away and I've blocked your new profiles. I did AT THE TIME ask my narc ex to have words with him (as they were friends) when you two wer