RASA/RSACC counselling line:

TW: sexual violence, abuse:

(Just a positive meme/quote from Misa On Wheels emphasising that disabled people are people too and worthy of the same respect and care as everyone else.)

I was given a leaflet to be referred to Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling and it took them a few days to call back.

I've phoned 8 times this morning from 9:15-09:40am so far and it seems the line is unmanned.

The lady seemed a little upset when she called me close to 5pm yesterday that I couldn't handle the call at that time as I had my dog ready for a walk and he was crying, her expression of this was in comments that were full of peer pressure like stating how long the waiting list is but that doesn't change anything nor the fact I couldn't talk in the street at that time and should not be pressured into doing so.

These issues are sensitive and how things are handled needs to be addressed.

Too many negative experiences are still happening within the medical community and although I am very thankful to have had a lovely lady at my latest hospital appointment, who gave me the leaflet, when people are not available or charities are not available then it tells society we're not worth investing in.

Instead of saying they'll call me back this morning they told me to ring them, I tried to get them to call back this morning, but their number definitely seems unmanned.

Lynn/Lynne told me yesterday that from the moment I do the forms over the phone it will take 18 months as an estimated waiting time for the waiting list for counseling, but that didn't change the fact I needed 15-20mins for her to call back and if the forms were going to take that long anyway why didn't she call back since it was close to 5pm anyway...

I'm sorry but this is not good enough, women deserve better than this and I have left an answerphone message to say that I'm neurospicy and I hate doing phone calls, and I don't want to leave another answer phone message because I'll just get a call back at a random time and that makes me anxious, if I get a call back within the week that is.

I wish she could have just had someone call me this morning and I wish they didn't leave it so late to call so if it's not a good time there's leeway to call back from 20 mins.

That's the only time I needed yesterday to walk the dog.

I left an answerphone message explaining I'll be calling all day today and I don't want to leave a number for a call back so I'll be trying to get in touch with someone today and that the phone line seems unmanned.

It would be helpful if they stated their opening times however, but by doing that they can't excuse the lack of manned phone at times they're supposed to be open.

Why am I being so negative? 

I'm being factual and honest.

This is a very serious mode of help and support and with everything being such a fight already this should be set up way better than this.

Call backs should be in the mornings to allow plenty of time to rearrange if they catch a woman or girl at a time they can't speak.

Women and girls deserve better and anything that's a hinderence to that more than a help needs to be improved, it's never hating on a charity when you point out how they're literally failing women (or people), it's an appeal to the charity to do better.

We're allowed to ask for better when so many are let down, how many end up committing suicide from not being able to get through or being called back too late, or for the waiting time being over a year closer to two years?

Counselling is NOT a luxury, mental health is NOT a luxury and it's about time the British citizens were put first.

It's a wednesday and it's 9:54am now - if I get through today I'll update this but some people are still stuck in situations and can't always get the time to constantly chase up support.

I'm ringing at 10 again incase they're a late start and all I can do is ring and hang up and ring and hang up until someone answers. 

Other than that I could give up and tell them to shove their practically non-existant services... But if a woman needs the help, she needs the help.

The Goodall centre and Adult social services keep blaming each other saying it is the other services I need when neither are capable of calling me back or sorting anything, I have been abandoned, it may be ok for Steve from Goodall to say he's bringing it up in the meeting the next day over a week ago but until someone holds themselves responsible for my mental health care and wellbeing I'm left abandoned and that's just reality.

I turned up to PCP twice where they never did and as soon as I was unable to attend because of transport issues and because they don't do over the phone work I was dropped. How is that fair?

More charities and mental health facilities need to step up when it comes to disability legislation and providing accessible services for those of us with additional struggles, this is not entitlement nor faking discrimination, it is literal discrimination when an individual is prevented the same access to services due to disabilities and complications in comparison to abled bodied individuals.

Facts.

Reality.

This is now preventing me from doing the work I need to do today and I need this call to be over and done with asap so I can use my very weak energy levels and pain flare up day to focus on charity work and studies.

It's hard enough and draining enough to talk about such recent trauma on top of past trauma and on top of dynamic disabilities, so forgive me for wanting systems to be in place that actually help people not reinforce that they're not worthy of help or that people are abandoned.

It's not rocket science and it all it would take is some decent dedicated staff willing to answer a phone.

That is NOT asking too much.

DO YOU YOURSELF NEED HELP?

For anyone who needs to self refer to Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling please call our local Darlington number of 01325354119.

You will most likely need to leave an answerphone message and they'll likely get back in touch within 3-5 working days.

Then when they call you need to be immediately available for the forms or you'll end up fighting to speak to someone again like I am.

Little fights like this take it's toll on people with dynamic disabilities, it drains us of energy we need to survive all the things we need to get done in life with, and frankly it's just not good enough.

I'll be gutted if the lack of services and the fact I've had to speak on this several times to different people already drains me and impacts me to the point I have to cancel my studies.

My goals are all I have in my little life and my ex and other exes that caused trauma have stolen enough from me thank you very much.

It's now 10:05am so I'm trying again.

I will forever state things exactly as they are until the world educates itself on dynamic disabilities and conditions and will forever advocate for better for us. We deal with enough and I currently have a sinus and inner ear infection radiating pain to my jawline and teeth to which I've needed my pain management way more already and couldn't concentrate on studies yesterday.

Forgive me if I don't want today to drain me to the point I don't get my studies done, especially when they're needed for me to be the best advocate I can be, understand myself better and the safeguarding children courses are for a very important position I'm trying to secure with DCC as an independent visitor for children in the care system.

We can only help by being who we need to see more of in the world, and if you're not actioning positive change and only using words then you need to start putting things into action too.

I'm not perfect but I can only do my best and work around a system that is a constant battle for help with anything and everything and is set up against the disabled and to continuously disadvantage the disabled and neurospicy communities.

Legislation is in place to prevent this but again until the legislation is reinforced, disabled and neurospicy communities will consistently be failed, and jobs will not be available due to lack of flexibility.

We don't fake being disabled, or in pain, we fake being okay and it's never okay when we are made to constantly harass, cause that's what it is, organisations, charities and the system to help.

We should never be forced to beg like this.

No one should, regardless of disability or not.

It's ... dehumanising. Period.

Sarah.

@KawaiiDollDecora ♡

www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡

Update:

10:10am

Just got through to Katie and explained that I spoke to Lynn/Lynne yesterday and I was asked to call back.

She's got it on the system that it's to complete referral, so I think the offices must be open around 10am+ as opposed to 9am.

Self referrals are for 13+.

They asked how I heard about them so have explained I was given a leaflet by a professional, they confirmed there is a 18 month waiting list and meanwhile there's an emotional support line and online help.

My dog Bud keeps wanting tummy rubs whilst I'm on the phone, to be honest he's such a beautiful and handsome little fur baby and keeps me going.

He helps me beat depression as I have to get up to look after him and that's perfect for me as an altruistic individual.

We're just confirming my address and gender identity etc and going over the diversity questions.

I am now explaining my neurospicy tendencies.

And now my disabilities, explained I'm mobility impaired and I'm explaining my diagnoses now.

I've given her the main one EDhS, and SPD etc and explained stairs are possible at times but depends on the stairs and I'd need my pain management.

Now explaining my depression, POTS, PTSD /potential CPTSD.

Explained a week ago I had to phone the Samaritans...when I hit rock bottom...

Asked if I'm safe from sexual violence and I explained that I live alone now and have history of self harming and never abused substances or alcohol.

Explained I'm connected with harbour, and who my named worker is, gave her the number for my worker.

She wants to discuss a little bit of what's happened. So confirmed what had happened in my domestic violence situation. The assaults and violence against me too.

Gaslighting.

Manipulation.

Coercive control.

Belittling.

Physical assault.

Sexual assault.

Lie about allsorts, and recruited hate against me.

Gave crime reference and incident number:

I warned the new girl that she was not safe and my window was put out hours after that and dog harmed.

She asked if I used the service before, I haven't and just informed them that I'm awaiting a representative for the video interview.

They support people through the criminal justice system, so we don't know if harbour is going to help yet or whether or not I'd need them.

I think for face to face counselling I would have to travel to Darlington, and I've explained afternoons are preferred.

They are sending me an email with a self help guide etc.

I blog and update everything so when others go through similar things like I have or like this they know what to expect.

The email will have all the information about what can be done meanwhile whilst I'm on the waiting list.

She was polite, friendly, patient, kind and lovely and provided a lot of information and I just need to wait for the email now.

Here's a good morning Support Video I made to help others:

I hope you have a good day xx