My town matters:

People who defend others being nasty or abusive confuse tf outta me... 

I simply don't have time for people to lash out and blame me for arguments others start and which I only defend myself in. 

They aren't friends. 

Everyone has arguments, using that to justify a friend's abusive nature and deflect onto the person advocating for change is again, unhelpful.

They're flying monkeys thinking that their friends are kind when I have evidence to the contrary and as a disability advocate it's my duty to raise awareness of the harmful things people say about the disabled.

Using disabled relatives to hate on other disabled people is not 'nice' nor kind and is definable as ableist.

Supporting friends who choose to be abusive because someone pointed out their passive aggressive responses help no one, on a post where they're concerned about kids playing barefoot near glass, is not actually helpful.

Real friends call their friends out on bs and hate, they don't flying monkey attack the person whose trying to raise awareness all because in their eyes they seem to get into 'a lot of arguments'. That's victim blaming and shaming and only adds to the issues.

It helps no one. The person behaving poorly gets defended by their friends and the person trying to make a positive difference and action positive change gets blamed instead.

Ultimately that helps no one, and I'm unfriending people fast who think that blaming me for defending myself and disabled individuals from ableism and cruelty is ok. It's not ok. It's also wrong.

Disabled people don't fake discrimination, they just want to be treated fairly and not like a burden or their disability is their fault, so when someone who has a  HUGE involvement with people with disabilities (RED FLAG 🚩🚩🚩🚩) chooses to target disabled people and declare that they're 'entitled' or must be the problem because their disabled relatives have no issues (that they know of) that's ABLEISM.

It invalidates the REAL struggles of an individual and only condones and supports the abusers/discriminators; albeit indirectly.

You can't claim they're a nice person when they're going out of their way to be immature and petty and hate on or invalidate genuine struggles of disabled people they don't know.

You can't claim they're a 'nice' person when they're condoning abuse because someone wanted glass being cleaned up and didn't find unhelpful negative comments useful.

If I'm hated, sorry correction, 'pitied', for being someone who won't condone abuse, asks people to self-reflect and expects more from their community than silly hate and segregation, then so be it.

I stand firm in my roots and I fix me when I'm an issue, usually only when antagonised and baited and I myself get frustrated and emotional because people are incapable of listening, self reflecting or understanding the harmful things they are saying and doing.

I never said I was a nice person, I'm a good one and my fire will be used against abusive sorts and people who think negativity is a solution, its not, it causes more problems and I refuse to add to the problems people in my community face.

Instead I seek resolution and if that gets me hated for speaking the truth, or pitied, then so be it.

The people who defend the abuse are also being a problem and that is firmly their choice, when they choose to target me though and bring drama to my lane I have a right to stand up for myself and explain how damaging their behaviour is.

If I'm labelled a bully for standing up to bullies, so be it.

I wont leave this world worse than how I found it and people can either help me make it better, or base their hate on false narratives to which they can hate from a distance.

Not MY problem.

Its entirely theirs.

If I'm genuinely not for you then that is ok too, I proudly state many people aren't for me, especially those who bring others down and victim blame and shame all because they won't acknowledge the poor behaviour of their friend or family member.

Again, their denial is not my problem.

My community matters and will always matter but a community is only successful when people don't condone or ignore negativity, and instead stamp it out and expect better from their peers.

I created my group Aycliffe Uncensored to be a safe space for all and if people can't behave with thoughtful communication to make it so, then they will be removed from the group.

Disagreements are ok, trolling and negativity is absolutely NOT ok.

I'm constantly confused by people who claim to be good people then go and do bad things and get their friends to help them hate on the person who is brave enough to point it out.

C'est la vie.

Hate me, pity me, unfriend me.

I'm still me and at the end of the day, I'm the one that's caused actual change, not the flying monkeys, not the negativity spewers, me and everyone else who can't bear to leave the world in the state it is in.

Actioning positive change will always be met with hostilities, doesn't mean that the advocate is the problem, just means there's more that needs to be done in the community because it is members of the community itself that are choosing to be a problem.

I can't make people listen, or care but I won't be their enemy just because they're gullible or won't hold themselves accountable.

They could learn from me, someone who fixes herself and holds herself accountable. I'm harder on myself than anyone else could ever be but it's about the bigger pictures anyways.

Change is needed and the disabled deserve respect.

My work is cut out for me but I won't quit just cause a couple grown adults can't see their own flaws and faults and have to tantrum in huge cliques instead of deal with things one person to one person.

Always keep going, no matter what.

Sarah Wingfield Author  🌹

@KawaiiDollDecora ♡

www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡