Ablesplaining:
Ablesplaining:
They don’t start by listening.
They start by correcting.
Not the harm.
Not the abuse.
Not the behaviour that caused the reaction.
You.
This is what ablesplaining looks like in real life — lived, not theorised:
• Being told how my disability affects me by people who don’t live in my body.
• Being instructed to “calm down,” “log off,” or “take a break” instead of having harm addressed.
• Having my communication scrutinised while abusive behaviour is excused or minimised.
• Being spoken over when I name discrimination, as if I lack insight into my own lived reality.
• Being framed as “too emotional” the moment I speak with confidence and clarity.
For disabled women especially, advocacy is quickly reframed as aggression.
Boundaries become “attitude.”
Self-defence becomes “harassment.”
Disability does not mean: – lack of awareness
– lack of intelligence
– lack of authority
– or needing non-disabled people to explain our lives back to us
I already understand my condition.
I already understand harm.
I already understand boundaries.
What I am often denied is respect.
Calling out abuse is not abuse.
Defending yourself is not wrongdoing.
And lived experience is not up for debate.
Disabled people do not need to be managed, corrected, or silenced.
We need people to listen — or step aside.
Because impact matters.
And we’re done being talked over.
Sarah Wingfield ❤️
Independent Disability Advocate
#disabilityinclusion #strongertogether #disability #disabilityawareness #disabilitysupport #disabilityrights
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A square graphic with a pastel purple text panel centered over a sparkly, multicoloured glitter background in pinks, purples, blues, and golds. Large white text at the top reads “Ablesplaining.” Below, smaller white text defines it as: “(noun): The act of a nondisabled person condescendingly explaining disability, especially with the presumption that the disabled lack relevant understanding or authority, or are not in a position to speak for themselves.” Along the right edge, vertical pink text reads “KawaiiDollDecora.uk.” In the bottom left corner, there is a white heart-shaped
logo with the words “Kawaii Doll Decora” inside.
