Harassment Isn’t Resolution:
Harassment Isn’t Resolution:
There’s something I’ve learned — and been reminded of again recently: not everyone wants resolution. Some people want control of the narrative.
I entered a conversation about disability, ableism, and respect — a conversation that should have been rooted in understanding, nuance, and lived experience. Because disability is not a competition. Pain is not a hierarchy. And comparing people’s struggles to minimise them is, and always will be, harmful.
So I said that.
I spoke from lived experience as someone who is AuDHD. I clarified my intent, explained that tone can be misread in text, and asked for kindness, for clarity, for basic respect.
That should have been enough.
But instead of engaging with what I actually said, the focus shifted — not to the message, but to me.
Suddenly, I wasn’t someone raising a valid point. I was “high”. I was “dangerous”. I was “abusive”.
And when someone stops addressing your words and starts attacking your character, your health, your identity — that’s not disagreement. That’s deflection. That’s discomfort being redirected into accusation. That’s someone avoiding accountability by trying to discredit the person holding the mirror.
My prescribed treatment was used against me. My neurodivergence was dismissed. My advocacy was reframed as harm.
And when I didn’t back down, the messages continued. The assumptions escalated. The narrative twisted further.
That’s when it stops being a conversation. That’s when it becomes harassment.
And I will say this clearly: harassment is not resolution.
Conflict is not resolved through personal attacks, assumptions, or attempts to undermine someone’s credibility. It’s resolved through listening, through asking questions, and through taking accountability where it’s needed.
I did what any advocate — and any person with self-respect — should do. I clarified. I set boundaries. And when it became clear that resolution was not the goal, I disengaged.
Because protecting your peace is not weakness — it’s awareness. It’s recognising when you are no longer in a safe or constructive space.
And there’s something else that needs to be said, clearly and without apology:
Calling out harm is not abuse.
It may feel uncomfortable. It may challenge beliefs. It may disrupt what people are used to — but discomfort is not the same as harm. And too often, the two are deliberately confused.
Because if accountability can be labelled as “dangerous”, then reflection can be avoided. If advocacy can be dismissed as “abuse”, then change never has to happen.
But I will not shrink myself to protect that comfort. I will not stay silent to make others feel at ease while harm goes unchecked.
I will continue to speak — not to attack, not to divide, but to raise awareness, to protect, and to push for better. Because we can do better. We should do better. And real progress doesn’t come from silence — it comes from truth, even when that truth is uncomfortable.
So here’s where I stand:
You don’t have to agree with me. But you do have to communicate without harm.
You don’t have to understand everything immediately. But you do have to be willing to listen.
And if you can’t do that, then step away.
Because harassment isn’t resolution — and it never will be.
Sarah Wingfield ❤️
Independent Disability Advocate
#disabilityinclusion #strongertogether #disability #disabilityawareness #disabilitysupport #disabilityrights #endableism #advocacy #respectmatters
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