I broke today ... 💔

The crisis team needs shutting down it doesn't do anything, hangs up on you, can't take dob's right and if they don't know how to help then gawd knows how you are supposed to.

You break and you're on your own.

💯💔💔💔💔

I don't sign up for more abuse so won't even phone 999, don't have a mental health support team anymore because they don't do telephone consultations and don't care if I struggle to get to face to face meets with my disability, no wonder people just exit this world, if this is how they're treated when at breaking point.

I thought my life would be amazing once I worked so hard to get out of my wheelchair, and I'm far from perfect but I'm not a bad person and I was so so wrong.

People only claim to care about mental health, they'll throw you away and use you to gain popularity with other haters over actually owning their shii.

I worked so hard these last three years helping people (personal choice don't need gratitude) but representation atleast matters only for my home towns paper to not print my picture and shout at me for wanting to buy an article etc.

Then the disabled charity on my town allowed a gentleman called Tony to invalidate me and make out free promotions are more important than genuine disabled advocacy so what's the point, so I left the group and they're letting him allow abuse and thank the aggressor publicly on a post I posted about how he upset me and my son.

We're constantly told we're not allowed to matter but everyone else is, we're constantly expected to take crap but if we make a mistake they treat you like you're genuinely as nasty as them and use it to lash out.

No wonder people hit breaking point!

Advocacy is hard, you take the heat so others get their voices heard and don't have to, but I'm ashamed at my hometown allowing that and then a gentleman from the radio withdrew from my book (thats not an issue that's not the problem) but then instead of unfriending me they blocked me and I only realised when I tried to tag them in a community group I run with some help from a couple of moderators, to thank them.

I emailed them and they were extremely kind back but they stated that they are blocking several people and I'm one of them and they're sticking by that. No explanation nothing. I respectfully wished them well and deleted their contribution to uphold confidentiality and data protection but it's like I feel like I'm the only one who genuinely cares and it's crazy.

No one stands for what they claim to and I feel like I'm the only one that does and I'm hated for it.

Atleast I hold myself accountable and fix me when I'm the problem, what's their excuse?!

It's a sad state of affairs for all and like Bob Dylan sang the times they are a changing and it will only get worse so they better pick their support networks well otherwise they'll be walked over, stepped on and discarded too.

I feel like I'm made to be the problem because I want actual bf/gf things, basic things and someone who won't make life harder for me, no matter what I do it's my fault, no matter what others do it's my fault, I get the message they dont want me to exist but I do and if I have to deal with that fact so do they.

But they can do it far away from me and if promotions more important than the well-being of the disabled or how they're treated then they don't stand for what they claim to represent anyways.

I have no mental health support right now and I'm not going to sign myself up to be abused in hospital with judgemental staff who lack compassion neither.

I've been through hell, still go through a lot of hell and I do a lot but I deserve some support too.

I have to have my own back cause others only pretend to. 💔

I don't know if I'll make it through as I wanna quit right now so hard, but I'm not, I'm hitting pause and it's not my fault I have no support.

I have to be my own safety net.

Same as always.

Atleast alone is safe.

Sarah

@KawaiiDollDecora ♡

www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡