Funerals, Clexane and Anemia:
I am still broken hearted that we had a death in the family recently, which hit the whole family hard so we cannot even try to imagine what the mam (our relative) feels like. It was unfortunately the death of a baby which we all loved. I am not going to go into details as I don't want to upset the lady I am talking about as she has been through enough.
What I will say is at the funeral my heart was broken for everyone especially the mother, our relative whom I think the world of, she is the most amazing lady you would ever meet and a fantastic mother. Heart of gold!
I felt awkward and in the way as I attended with my wheelchair and didn't want people to make such a fuss when I was offered the opportunity to throw petals which is bringing me to tears now, just thinking about it. We will never 'get over' this and we will carry her memory in our hearts forever.
* * *
I am now injecting myself daily with Clexane which is not exactly a nice experience. (This is because I cannot walk and I am high risk of blood clots). My legs are black and blue. I also have to take 3 iron tablets a day as I have become anemic.
I am 30 weeks this Wednesday the 23rd Sept, based on my estimated due date, which means we have not got much longer to go. This should be a really exciting time as we prepare to meet our baby but it couldn't be any farther from it, as my husband has been ill for over 3 weeks the house has suffered.
We already had 3 rooms that were storage rooms we tried to get sorted and failed and now the house is worse than ever. We need to get rid of stuff, we have been scared to just throw things away as we may need to sell them later but now we just gotta throw. Also we were giving things to charity but it has got to a point now i don't have time or the chance to wash things and sort things for charity anymore which is also upsetting me as i have always given lots to charity.
Having looked at our rooms we don't have anything worth anything anyway so we just need to be able to start sorting things out which is hard, extremely hard when I cannot walk and I am sleeping downstairs on a tall airbed as I cannot make it up the stairs. My hygiene has suffered due to this too which is more than depressing.
I have been selling some girls clothes we got when we found out I was pregnant to try and raise money for other things for our baby, we still need a cotbed and many more things. I don't like to feel like a charity case, for a married couple who have worked so hard you'd think life was much better than this. We don't even have money to decorate our house and need a new carpet in the bedroom (Desperately) and a fridge freezer. We don't own the house and had to fight for a carpet for the living room too, that took ages as we were originally promised laminate, long story...
The lady who owns our house wants to sell it so if we have to move she won't be renting it anymore so I guess she feels why should she fork out for new carpets etc....
We painted over the wallpaper as a temporary measure but hope to get back on our feet soon, me more literally as well as financially.
We have my husbands brother coming to stay and we have nowhere for him at the moment, today is saturday and he comes on tuesday, my husband is working all this weekend so my parents are caring for me (being cared for is degrading enough) and we are at the hospital monday as my consultant wants to see me as i am now on clexane injections.
My parents have kindly offered to help this sunday but I am still going to be stressed as I am used to being so independant and balancing jobs and everything and now I have no choice but to sit back and observe which I won't be doing, I will hurt myself going up the stairs I know I will but I have to, and sit on the bed and sort through things as best as I can. It will take me ages to get up the stairs, if i cannot do it though i guess i will have no choice but to sit downstairs.
Crying has become more of a daily routine now as I am feeling more and more useless and feel like our life is falling apart around us... and there is nothing we can do about it as I cannot work...
What I will say is at the funeral my heart was broken for everyone especially the mother, our relative whom I think the world of, she is the most amazing lady you would ever meet and a fantastic mother. Heart of gold!
I felt awkward and in the way as I attended with my wheelchair and didn't want people to make such a fuss when I was offered the opportunity to throw petals which is bringing me to tears now, just thinking about it. We will never 'get over' this and we will carry her memory in our hearts forever.
* * *
I am now injecting myself daily with Clexane which is not exactly a nice experience. (This is because I cannot walk and I am high risk of blood clots). My legs are black and blue. I also have to take 3 iron tablets a day as I have become anemic.
I am 30 weeks this Wednesday the 23rd Sept, based on my estimated due date, which means we have not got much longer to go. This should be a really exciting time as we prepare to meet our baby but it couldn't be any farther from it, as my husband has been ill for over 3 weeks the house has suffered.
We already had 3 rooms that were storage rooms we tried to get sorted and failed and now the house is worse than ever. We need to get rid of stuff, we have been scared to just throw things away as we may need to sell them later but now we just gotta throw. Also we were giving things to charity but it has got to a point now i don't have time or the chance to wash things and sort things for charity anymore which is also upsetting me as i have always given lots to charity.
Having looked at our rooms we don't have anything worth anything anyway so we just need to be able to start sorting things out which is hard, extremely hard when I cannot walk and I am sleeping downstairs on a tall airbed as I cannot make it up the stairs. My hygiene has suffered due to this too which is more than depressing.
I have been selling some girls clothes we got when we found out I was pregnant to try and raise money for other things for our baby, we still need a cotbed and many more things. I don't like to feel like a charity case, for a married couple who have worked so hard you'd think life was much better than this. We don't even have money to decorate our house and need a new carpet in the bedroom (Desperately) and a fridge freezer. We don't own the house and had to fight for a carpet for the living room too, that took ages as we were originally promised laminate, long story...
The lady who owns our house wants to sell it so if we have to move she won't be renting it anymore so I guess she feels why should she fork out for new carpets etc....
We painted over the wallpaper as a temporary measure but hope to get back on our feet soon, me more literally as well as financially.
We have my husbands brother coming to stay and we have nowhere for him at the moment, today is saturday and he comes on tuesday, my husband is working all this weekend so my parents are caring for me (being cared for is degrading enough) and we are at the hospital monday as my consultant wants to see me as i am now on clexane injections.
My parents have kindly offered to help this sunday but I am still going to be stressed as I am used to being so independant and balancing jobs and everything and now I have no choice but to sit back and observe which I won't be doing, I will hurt myself going up the stairs I know I will but I have to, and sit on the bed and sort through things as best as I can. It will take me ages to get up the stairs, if i cannot do it though i guess i will have no choice but to sit downstairs.
Crying has become more of a daily routine now as I am feeling more and more useless and feel like our life is falling apart around us... and there is nothing we can do about it as I cannot work...
