PGP / SPD My story:

 I'm seeking help from a company/ organisation for my neurodivergence: they just asked me if their site was accessible for me and I explained my disability and mobility issues and transportation difficulties. They just told me that their support is only available directly on site. Why ask me then? I may lose support now if I can't attend. They're called Daisy Chain and were actually recommended to me on a thread of my hometowns page. They're supposed to support autistic people. Some autistic people have social anxiety - struggles to get to new places too. I don't like inaccessible support because it doesn't support - it rejects. *Worried* I've been abandoned many times before because my disability and mobility issues have not been taken seriously and organisations choose to be inaccessible instead of offering home visits or telephone consultations. An even more anxious Sarah having seen there's no bus stops near there either... Sarah 💔 #AccessibilityMat...

I just read an article about a man that abused several elderly people in a care home and only got three years. When abusers are caught - they face silly and very little consequences - that's if it even goes to court at all and they don't get away scot-free! I left a job for the NHS as I was bullied out of it as a teenager for defending disabled people under our care from staff and our boss who could have triggered an epileptic fit by screaming in the face of a lady with epilepsy in our care. I have no ulterior agendas. When I speak out about things it's because I've seen how bad life actually is - I've even lived in the seething abusive underbelly of society - and survived. I turn my pain into power and I action positive change and I won't apologise for expecting that from others. No abuse is ever okay. Period. But our system is a joke and society is even more harmful towards victims of abuse - no wonder many don't feel there's any other way out of this ...

I emailed Darlington Association on Disability today about their Independent Living forum. They posted today: " We are relaunching our Independent Living Forum.    The aims of the Independent Living Forum are to: * bring disabled people together to identify the key issues that are important to you and share experiences. * support you to have your voice heard and influence change on local, regional and national issues. * Members will be asked to identify areas of interest / key issues; this will enable us to invite the right people to our events and meetings. * As part of the first meeting, we will look at the proposed changes to welfare rights and provide support, where needed, to give your views as part of the national consultations.   The first meeting is on: Tuesday 17th June, 1.00 -3.00 pm, at St. Augustine’s Church Hall, Larchfield Street, Darlington, DL3 7TG.   Booking is essential;   email: mail@darlingtondisability.org or phone: 01325 360524. Please let ...

I have just finished the press shoot with DurhamEnable for the podcast and I'm delighted to announce it will be printed in the Durham County Council newsletter! So keep your eyes peeled and I'll send you the link over the next few weeks! Sarah Wingfield 🌹  #podcast #pressshoot #disabilityinclusion #disabilityawareness #employment 

It's cool if we disagree - that's a fact of life. It's cool if I'm not for you - I won't pretend to be. It's cool if you don't understand me - I'm used to it. What's not okay is when you use this as a chance to be disrespectful. It's really THAT simple. 😊❤️ My closest friends and I don't agree on everything but I would never have them any other way - they're my friends because they accept me for who and how I am like I accept them for who and how they are and that's all that matters at the end of the day. People who know how to respect you even when opportunities arise that others would have jumped on to justify disrespect, are so important to keep around. They choose kindness over all else. Mutual respect is everything. ❤️ Sarah ❤️ 

A Dream Apology: I have just woken from the weirdest dream and I feel so much lighter and happier.  In my dream I got an apology for something that happened to me in real life recently, within the last few weeks to be precise, they didn't invalidate, they didn't get nasty, they simply acknowledged and owned accountability and they were kind and sincere. Although I know this hasn't happened in real life it's still made all the difference, that heavy weight of pain I've been carrying from their harmful behaviour and the invalidation afterwards, without acknowledgement, has been lifted, I think my spirit guides have seen me struggling and doing everything and anything I can to get help and fix myself and try and let go of wounds I didn't and don't deserve and have gifted me the simple yet affective closure I'd never get in real life. It was a dark haired man on a page called Promotional Film TV that said if Sarah is watching, I'm sorry that happened and...

Still going ❤️ Still helping ❤️ Still actioning positive change ❤️ I keep changing the world and actioning positive change as best I can, no matter what’s thrown at me or who targets me. These days, I do it behind the scenes – where others can’t influence people into withdrawing their support for me. I still don’t understand why some feel the need to do that, but that’s something they need to figure out – not me. I’m incredibly proud to announce that I’ll be at a press shoot with DurhamEnable on Tuesday for a disability awareness podcast focused on employment. Once I have the details and the link, I’ll share it here and sincerely hope it reaches the right people – the ones who need to hear it. I hope it helps them recognise their worth and believe in their dreams. I want other disabled people to believe in themselves. To know their worth. To demand access and space in this world – and to keep demanding it until the world buckles and makes room for all of us. We can do this together. We...

  Stalking, Misuse of Power & Silencing Victims: A Personal Reflection As a victim of stalking—serious enough to involve the police—this issue is painfully close to my heart. I've ticked all the listed options as potential indicators of stalking. Because if someone knows their communication, gifts, observation, spreading false information, or showing up in person is unwanted and unwarranted, and they do it anyway—that is stalking. Full stop. But there’s something else I need to highlight: the misuse of police powers. As I stated on the official survey and the Police and Crime Commissioner for Cleveland’s Facebook page: > "I would like to add: reactions to behaviour—even when repetitive—can’t be labelled as stalking or mistreatment when they’re not the original problem. You need to target the antagonists, not those trying to cope. (Speaking from personal experience here, as a blogger who’s been threatened—including, but not limited to, arrest—for stating facts about my o...

I just had a lady claim to be open to discussion to just use judgement and assumptions to change my reality to fit how she wants to see me, as soon as I allowed the space for the discussion. This is why communication fails and positive change gets halted prior to being actioned. They would rather correct your reality on how they feel it could be than accept it for how it is. If you want discussion, discuss but stop invalidating people's experiences to dictate because that is technically hate which is what she was ironically arguing about. Not everyone who disagrees is hateful no, but plenty are. Facts can't be changed no matter how bad you want them to be. We need to focus on solutions not dictating or invalidating or changing another's reality to feel superior or create an enemy where none exists. I responded with some potential solutions so we can only see if that's 'heard' or misconstrued further. Understanding is EVERYTHING. If you can't believe someone ...

Still Fighting: Three Years and Counting by Sarah Wingfield Independent Disability Advocate / Blogger / Actress / Producer / Artist / Charity Volunteer / Activist + I never quit. But I’m not quite succeeding either. Not yet. Three years of relentless effort. Three years of knocking on doors that never open, of being told to "wait," to "be patient," to "prove myself" over and over again like I haven’t already lived a lifetime doing exactly that. My skills are real. My talent is real. My capabilities are undeniable to anyone who’s actually paying attention. But so often—they’re not. So I keep moving. I keep fighting. Because standing still is not an option when survival depends on movement. I don’t have the luxury of giving up. I never did. In a world that dismisses disabled bodies, that underestimates disabled minds, that fears and marginalises anything it doesn’t understand—I create. I advocate. I write. I act. I volunteer. I produce. I organise. I paint. ...

It's no secret I need counseling and support. I've endured more than most, have recent trauma to overcome and I've tried. I read the following article and suggestion which I'll quote after I write this but as much as I understand and accept it will help others and can help others, it won't help me. I can't do this, my memory is not the issue and I want to leave the past in the past. It happened already I just want to move forward but every time I've sought help I've been rejected, mistreated, thwarted and despite this I'm reaching out to other support groups and organisations / helplines that are hopefully more compassionate and understanding. I won't ever condone the use of any support group to commit hate crimes against an individual that was targeted, no matter the narratives they breach confidentiality to share to create hate campaigns and exclusion over support and help. I am still doing my best despite how people have abused their power and...

I Just Want to Be Safe — And Heard I wrote a whole paragraph about this yesterday and deleted it. Why? Because it hasn’t been safe for me to speak. As a woman — and especially as a disabled woman and survivor — every time I speak up, I get trolled, abused, mislabelled. I’ve had to block people constantly just to breathe. I reject the term “CIS.” I always have. And I shouldn’t need to defend that. It wasn’t coined in kindness — do your research — and it doesn’t speak to my experience. I am a woman. That should be enough. I have trans friends. I support trans rights. But the friends I have who are trans don’t want to erase the language we use for women — they want to work alongside us. That’s how we build something safer for everyone. But what about safeguarding? What about uncomfortable truths? I'm a sexual assault survivor. I’ve never been raped by a woman. I know what it means to feel vulnerable — to be vulnerable — and I should be able to say I want spaces where there’s no room f...

I have rearranged my job centre appointments because although they're super important to me, I need to work through the stress and flare ups I'm going through right now. I'm taking control of everything and moving things around so I still meet my goals and give myself the time and space I need to recover when Disabilities are unpredictable. Rest and getting through the bad is all that matters right now. I may have to adapt and change things sometimes but in the long run it changes nothing when it comes to making sure I have the energy levels and rest so I can do the things I do.  Society teaches us to mask and fight through but it's not always possible, and with the bad luck and unpredictable things I've had to deal with recently I need to call a time out and recuperate so I don't end up worse and in hospital. I got dizzy and hit my head on a sink today, albeit a light hit thankfully it's still a sign that my body is demanding my attention and time and I hav...

There’s so much people don’t see when they look at someone who’s autistic. They see the outside, the bits that maybe don’t fit into what they expect. But what they don’t see is the daily battles, the exhausting effort it takes to exist in a world that often wasn’t built with people like us in mind. I’ve had to overcome so many obstacles just to feel like I’m allowed to exist, to breathe, to be myself without judgement. From the constant misunderstandings to the pressure to mask who I really am just to make others feel comfortable. That mask is heavy, and it costs you more than people realise. Some of us live in constant sensory overload, others struggle to communicate in ways that people understand or accept. Some of us don’t show emotion the way others expect, but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel. We feel deeply, sometimes too deeply. And we carry those feelings for a long time. I’ve been made to feel like I’m too much or not enough, sometimes both at the same time, and I’ve had to wor...

  The harmful behaviour I've had to deal with still affects me today and I'm doing my best to rise above it and acknowledge and accept that some adults aren't who they claim to be, bullying behind the scenes whilst seeking encouragement and support.  I'm proud I'm not like them and I'm working hard on finding new and genuine support spaces that are safe to help me overcome all the abuse and bullying I've had to deal with. It's hard when you're the only one who knows the truth and you aren't a nasty person so you don't go around recruiting hate campaigns and speaking against people, I mean I could if I wanted to but that would make me exactly like those who have harmed me and who I avoid. They've added to struggles, they've caused emotional and irreparable harm. They have worked together and abused their trust, power and safe spaces and I want nothing whatsoever to do with any of that. I'm not naming names here but I have and alway...

Everyone is doing a doll version of themselves right now, mostly using Chat GPT but I wanted to create something chibi and cute from scratch and decided to use ibis paint to make a doll version of me. I love how she turned out! I created my version in ibis paint 🎨  No AI. Sarah Wingfield 🌹  Kawaii Doll Decora 🫶🏻  #kawaiiaesthetic #kawaii #cute #chibi #cyute #y2k #bubblegum #kawaiifit #glitter #bubblegumbabe 

Felt inspired, added more to my book 📚  Think it's starting to write itself and I'm letting it. 🙏🏻 Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹

  What is the right thing to do when someone is abusive to you? Should you film them cause CCTV is ineffective and you're always labelled a liar when you're harmed? How do you get over injustice as a chronic pain and autism warrior?... Sarah x

Just thinking back to a day over a week ago where I bought bubbles and upon checkout was blowing them at this gorgeous baby boy who was loving it and trying to catch them!  Reminded me of when my Bam was little, I loved doing a lot of things with him; I still remember that day in the hospital after he got cancer, the woman trying to entertain him when I was already more than equipped to and couldn't accept she wasn't needed. Everytime my son enjoyed something I did she competed and took his attention, we were in the waiting room. I just remembered feeling patronised because I was in my wheelchair and like even the hospital didn't trust me to be a good mam even though I was. His cognitive development, gross motor skills and everything was a year ahead because of me and my past experience and education. It wasn't wasted on me and their fear of a wheelchair far outweighed any facts about how I mothered. I still remember our time fondly, all my son's little quirks and h...

Autism and Anger: Half the time we come across angry when we're really being mistreated and we are reacting to such. There is always a way to speak to people and unfortunately until society acknowledges that autism is a spectrum and we can't be compared they can't stop justifying how some people are mistreated and often don't even see it as mistreatment. If you are unprofessional, hostile, accusatory or making an environment unsafe you're likely to trigger an autistic meltdown in someone and this needs to change. Let's change the narrative for autistic people because we deserve respect. Thank you Sarah Wingfield  Independent Disability Advocate  Kawaii Doll Decora 🫶🏻 #disabilitytiktok #disabilityawareness #disability #kawaiidolldecora #autismawareness  Image taken from LinkedIn 

Doing character research whilst enjoying reading more of Mike Davies book The Veil of Silence, can't wait to bring the character Laura to life, getting some reading in before I do my podcast with DurhamEnable. Pumpkin dress from The Cheeky Little Magpie 💕💀 Keeping busy and keeping focus on my goals. Sarah Wingfield 🌹  Update 13:35hrs Just finished the podcast with DurhamEnable and I really hope to inspire others to seek the support they deserve when it comes to seeking employment. We need people to see their worth and believe in themselves more in a society constantly focusing on negatives. Let's hope that I do indeed do that and I will share the link to the podcast once it's available. Sarah Wingfield 🌹 

Guess saging myself with white sage last night didn't help... Don't laugh! I've literally had no luck so I was ready to try anything and everything and I rejected all negative energies projected onto me and cleansed myself of anything negative. Had a peaceful night so assumed it worked....until... Fast forward to this morning and my hosepipe broke and has a hole in it so I got squirted cleaning the garden up lol and then the gate latch snapped off to add to my distress so it doesn't close so me da has had to drill a hole for the bolt whilst I put in a repair request to Livin for a new latch. To add to it all I'm having an epically bad pain day so I wanted to sit in the sunshine without having to screw buds leash into grass out my front. Guess I'm not allowed easy. 😅🥺 I just want one easy day. 🙃🙏🏻 ...pretty please universe.🥺 xx Sarah x

I have just finished the meeting was really interesting and heartbreaking hearing other people's stories and struggles and as much differences we had with regards to conditions there were a lot of similarities with how our cases have been handled when applying for PIP etc. Lola McEvoy showed incredible compassion and patience and her team took a lot of notes to pass onto the house of commons in regards to the green paper. Let's hope that she isn't just heard when she shares our experiences but is actually listened to. I'm very grateful to her and her team today for the time and the session and we have done our best which is all we can do. I'm sending love to everyone worried and struggling right now and I truly hope we can make a positive difference by doing this. Sarah Wingfield 

Today I'm attending the Darlington MPs engagement event on the social security system. I hope to use my voice today to advocate for ALL of us with disabilities, who can't be there, can't be at protests and who are like myself fighting to be understood and supported by our government. I've done the work, sent the emails, worked with charities, filled out questions and forms and I am still doing it. Firstly I have a call from butterfly world which I'm anxious about but I know I was doing the right thing by leaving and that my fur baby was always safe. Some of us actually experiment and test our cars and make logical decisions but it doesn't matter because people will jump to conclusions and use that to lash out because feeling 'right' is better than doing the right thing. Why isn't our world better and why does it not have places for our animals to be watched and looked after? The same reason they don't even make things accessible for humans, they ...

Society is THE problem: Someone's disability may prevent them from doing certain things but the biggest obstacles disabled people face are barriers that are built by our broken society. People can't hold their hands up and admit fault anymore, they only care about a certain thing when it happens to them or affects them and that needs to change. I am not perfect but I already call myself out and fix me when I need to and more people NEED to be like me. If it helps to mislabel me with derogatory labels instead of acknowledging who and how I actually am, then you yourself are choosing that. I won't fight you justifying negativity or abuse because I can't make you care. The disabled deserve access to the same things that are a luxury for abled-bodied people and when I advocate I understand I am controversial and people will misunderstand and not listen to my actual words and others will be hateful, spiteful, distort the context and use experiences as an excuse to dictate, h...

It's apparently wrong to want to communicate with people who only act like they care about animals and others when it gives them an opportunity to be judgemental or abusive. I'm compassionate and kind and my message wasn't a rant but because people can't accept the facts they choose the wrong behaviour sometimes it's easier to ignore facts and reality and kindness and when their abuse is met with reason and compassion because they can't paint you as the person they wanted you to be they still take sides in things that don't actually have sides and are about a much bigger picture. People are allowed to ask you to support mental health and choose problem solving over being a problem. You're allowed to ignore how you impact people badly but maybe don't do it in the first place if you don't want discussions and just want an EXCUSE FOR ABUSE towards people. You can't advocate for mental health whilst assuming things and changing facts to meet fals...

Good morning. As you get ready for your day please try and choose who you want to be today. A problem solver and someone kind or a problem. Those that create problems tend to find any excuse for abuse, to jump on hate bandwagons and choose negativity over kindness. You are not my kind of people and all I ask is you choose better. Regarding a recent issue I had if people actually cared instead of fake cared why don't all if not most places have somewhere people can leave their dogs as they're their family? Or a purchasable option for staff to dogsit if people don't and won't and can't trust people to know the temperature of their vehicles? I vote for a more all inclusive pet friendly society but we're not even accessible for ALL humans at most venues because again people only care when they can use their caring as an excuse to be abusive instead of working towards being a disability friendly and dog friendly society. Check yourselves. Thank you. Sarah Wingfield ❤...

It starts with understanding yourself: Credit: Dr Jo Black #autism #injustice 

As I'm on my own healing journey and have been for some time, I find the world a difficult and unsafe place for myself and I spoke to the crisis team today as I sometimes do the work and research to find better coping methods so I can be the best version of me I can be and so that I can show up for others better.  If I'm a mess I can't help anyone not even myself. I'm sharing something that's one of my flaws/things I need to change and this advice may be helpful. I don't have all the answers and never have but when I find something useful I like to share in the hopes others can be comforted or guided without the despair or stress or struggle or research that I've endured/done. Hope this helps:l - On learning to let go: Why Unjust Pain Lingers: 1. The need for acknowledgment or repair: You were wronged, and nothing was done to make it right. 2. Rumination as self-protection: You replay it because you're trying to understand it or prevent it from happening...

  For those that actually know me, they'll know the hardships and struggles I'm currently facing and how even at my worst, how I show up for others. You get tired though, of ignorance, lack of investigation and research, lack of fact checking, lack of respect and you get so tired of hardship after hardship. Right now I'm just taking hit after hit and I'm collecting the rocks thrown at me cause I'm already at rock bottom and have been for a while and I'm going to use them to build a better life for myself. I may be at rock bottom but screw that I'm renaming it rock top! Life does not get to be this hard and gets away with it. Yea universe you heard me! As an artist I reflect on how the world is, which is an artists duty and I've been blogging for 25 years, lost my others so this one that I have left I've had for 16 of those years. Facts matter, behaviour has a pattern, the truth lies there in plain sight for all to see but often overlooked and replace...

I won't hide that I'm calling someone for help today, there's no shame in seeking understanding, compassion and help. It's the hardest thing for me to do because I don't like calls and I hate feeling low. No matter what I do lately my lane is invaded and even people with good intentions can be super harmful. I'm tired. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough, I'm isolated and alone a lot and the more I go out in the world the more I want to hide away but I don't want to become agoraphobic. I just want and desperately need good memories because people project so much and hate so much and I've had more than my fair share of struggles over the last decade and despite fighting my body and breaking free of being housebound bedbound I still can't make tops nor tails of this world and it's attraction to sadism.  Yes that's a me issue but I'm always working on me. Here is to hoping I can feel better and be helped as I'm still waiting...