In the thick of it:

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I've got a lot going on behind the scenes right now. I always say it’s okay to not be okay—but I tend to hide away when I’m struggling, and that’s not being the advocate I want to be. So here I am, being honest: I’m heartbroken.

My beloved fur baby is being put to sleep next Wednesday. Life’s been throwing some brutal punches lately, and on top of that, I’m dealing with my usual battles—chronic pain, fatigue, and other personal struggles I’ve been quietly chipping away at. Lately, it’s felt unbearable. I’ve been crying all day, feeling useless, and running on empty.

I’m doing my best to stay strong, but right now, I’m struggling to cope. I’ll be staying at my partner’s for another week after today—to escape a bit and take a break from everything. I know I’ll get through this, but it’s going to take time. I need people to understand that I might be online less while I work through it all. Sometimes sharing memes and being around my social friends really helps—but it also leaves me vulnerable to negativity and triggers.

Even at my lowest, I try to create positive change and support others—but right now, I’ve got nothing left to give. I like to help people feel seen and understood, because I know how isolating and cruel life can be when you feel different or misunderstood. That’s been a constant in my life—and still, I keep going.

I’ve been referred to secondary care for PTSD and trauma, which is a step forward. But everything feels especially hard at the moment—without paid work, and needing to rely on others when I wish I didn’t have to. Help has been abused in the past, which makes it even harder to ask.

This post wasn’t easy to write. I’ve typed and retyped it a hundred times. But I want people to know: if you’re in the thick of it too, you’re not alone. These are the parts of life where many give up—but I’m still here, tear-streaked, exhausted, heartbroken. And I will get through it. It’s just going to take time.

If you’re on my socials to be unkind, please block me. I don’t need that energy right now.


Thank you to those who understand.


Sarah ❤️






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