You want to know real heartache?

You want to know real heartache?

I had to sign my child over to my parents when he was two years old and undergoing cancer treatment because I believed that was the only way to protect him from a system I no longer trusted. So please do not tell me that children are never separated from their families without serious failings by the parent. I have lived through a situation where disability itself was treated as a reason to question my ability to parent.

There are also families of disabled children who have spent years trying to explain unexplained bruising, fractures or other symptoms before an underlying condition is finally identified. When professionals misunderstand disability or rare medical conditions, the consequences for families can be devastating. In some cases, by the time a diagnosis is reached, relationships and placements have already been profoundly affected.

My son was, and is, incredibly precious to me. I became disabled during pregnancy and used a wheelchair, including as an ambulatory wheelchair user. At one of the lowest points of my life, I was told words to the effect of:

“Disabled people should not be allowed to be parents.”

That attitude has stayed with me because disability does not determine whether somebody can love, protect, advocate for or raise their child.

I would have taken my son’s cancer from him in a heartbeat if I could. Instead, our whole family was left carrying trauma from an already horrific period of our lives alongside our experiences with the systems around us.

And Sandy, if you ever happen to read this: my son is still very much part of my life, he is loved beyond measure, and your suggestion that being a “good mum” meant I should end my life was cruel and completely unacceptable. I am very glad I did not listen to you.

My life is difficult. I am disabled. Neither of those things makes me incapable, unintelligent or less deserving of being a parent.

My son and I are both intelligent, complicated human beings, and I will continue speaking about ableism, disability discrimination and the damage that poor professional decision-making can cause families.

People do not have to agree with every part of my experience, but please do not erase it simply because it is uncomfortable to hear.

This is my account. I was there. I lived it.

Sarah Wingfield ❤️ 

Kawaii Doll Decora.uk

#Ableism #DisabledParents #DisabilityRights #FamilyRights #Safeguarding #DisabilityDiscrimination #DisabledMum #InvisibleDisability #SEND #ListenToFamilies

Alt text: Branded advocacy graphic with a colourful glitter and makeup-themed background in pink, purple, teal and gold. At the top, glowing pink script reads “Sarah Wingfield,” with “ACTRESS | AUTHOR | ADVOCATE” underneath and “KawaiiDollDecora.uk” below.

Centred on the graphic is a screenshot of a Facebook post by “Romany Dance.” The post says they want to tell their social services story because they are frustrated by claims that “social took my kids for no reason,” questions pages about “corrupt social services” and forced adoption, acknowledges that having children removed must be devastating, but states that it is “never done with ‘no reason’” and suggests parents may be in denial or refusing accountability. The screenshot shows numerous comments and reactions underneath.