PGP / SPD My story:

The last two days the universe has really been testing me and I don't want any more lessons, nevermind being tested. I'm alone, I'm exhausted and I'm doing my best. I am autistic. I keep to myself because others bring problems to me and I don't want them. Provoking will cause meltdowns. Attacking will trigger meltdowns. Where are the soft spoken kind hearted individuals that seek resolution and support? Have compassion and patience? If you're angry at my reaction think about what I'm reacting to and what I may be dealing with myself. Have some basic common human decency, not all of us are capable of doing things like others do, ask HOW CAN I HELP instead of HOW CAN I HATE?! ..and we'd get way further together... Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹 @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ Image reads: "To make a difference in someone's life you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care." -Mandy Hale

my trip out June 27th 2024 I went out with a friend and I was mainly window shopping, but it was so nice to see new Sindy dolls and things at a Bargains store in Stanley, they had black and white race dolls and were inclusive and diversive and as a doll collector, someone who has a lot of old school Sindy dolls, I would have loved to have been able to afford some of these ones at £8.99 a doll! There was also an arcade game for £179 that gave me ideas for a creative room in my home in future, as I'd love to have something like that at home. They remind me of the arcades I used to frequent in Crook growing up, even when I had no money watching others game was something I did for fun. Then we would hang out at the skate park and chill. It was nice to have a trip out and I've put together a little video short of the day. Enjoy. Sarah xo @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ #Sindy #Sindydoll #doll #collector #blacksindydoll #diversity #inclusion #shoptrip 

My hard work and advocacy has been mentioned here: I make valid points about the smell and the impact it has on our residents and if more of us worked together to try and action positive change when it comes to common goals; I genuinely believe we could resolve more. - Sarah Wingfield Author 🌹 Full article: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13504849/landfill-rotten-eggs-stench-illnesses-durham-aycliffe.html By Sam Lawley

I started an understanding autism course and pre-agreed flexibility prior to doing the course due to my dynamic disabilities. It's not a choice to be disabled and I'm as helpless and choice less when it comes to managing it as best as I can, I can't always work around it and the worst that happens is that I need rest, and to prolong anything I'm working on. I never take on anything that deadlines would be fixed and inflexible and it's never the end of the world if someone needs to extend a deadline, and yet... I emailed Lincoln College asking for another two weeks so I can study properly and in depth and sent 18 pages of hard work I've done so far. I don't so things half-assed and never will. The new lady that replied as my main one is on leave, said no. She can give me 2 extra days. Ableism : a perfect example. So I simply replied that I'm not happy with that, that's not what was pre-agreed and I am the one without a choice in the matter so whatever...

 You support as many as you can, you comfort and build up others, ❤️ yet when you don't tolerate mistreatment others sabotage and exclude and mistreat but you're the problem when you don't sit back quietly and allow them to...  All I can do is my best and I will work around people who choose pettiness over communication and hostilities over resolution. I'm not for everyone, but don't you dare for one second allow them to convince you that I'm the problem. Just cause I don't post everything and I work hard all the time and people don't notice or see that doesn't mean it isn't happening. I will continue to do my best for those on the town and if others choose to only help those that allow abuse and negativity, then they can help those who stay silent and take it, but that's not help it's control and ego. I hope some people look into a mirror and realise the part they have played in all of this and stating facts and not remaining silent isn...

  Image reads: "Healing teaches you that some people simply don't belong in your circle, no matter how much you care about them. Unconditional love doesn't mean unconditional tolerance of abuse, disrespect, or chaos; it's about setting boundaries that aren't up for negotiation." ...and my morals are never up for negotiation... 🌹🌹🌹 All I'm doing is focusing on managing a disability, supporting charities, running a safe space for everyone on the town, volunteering and working with charities, building others up and sharing and promoting them; especially if they're local, studying hard to be a better advocate to all, advocating for communication and resolution over ignorance and hostilities, fighting pain, trying to be a good role model for my son, trying to raise awareness and give others a voice regarding invisible illness, suggesting people think about things in a little more depth, judge less, be kind more and focusing on actioning positive change. ...

I just wish people would give their heads a shake, all have a meeting and resolve things so we can all do better together, it's the LEAST the town deserves, they can dislike me, be awful, whatever but we should all be doing what we can to build the town up not fight for silly limelight and lack the ability to communicate, or bully. It's sad. Completely unnecessary too. Some people would rather pretend they didn't do anything harmful and move on and make out the people they harm are the problem, but with that you lose promotion and opportunities which would help the town as a whole. I wish people would put their ego to the side and realise we have a common goal but I guess some believe that they are entitled to be ignorant, abusive or unprofessional/ uncooperative and when someone points it out they believe that person is worthy of MORE abuse and hate and boycotting. It will never make sense to me, no matter what has caused it, these people have power in publications in Aycl...

 As I'm currently studying the understanding autism course via Lincoln College. https://www.sciencealert.com/earliest-biological-signals-of-autism-found-in-mini-brains-experiment This article is quite interesting; I am currently looking at how the diagnostic statistical manual has updated - DSM-5 - and how most previously named isolated autistic spectrum disorders are now no longer diagnosed using such terminology and instead are diagnosed under a more generalized umbrella term of ASD. Autistic spectrum disorder. There still needs to be more research into conditions like this. And I feel that undiagnosed and diagnosed individuals should have more say in regards to curriculum and how they are described as individuals.  I am an open minded individual and so it was basic common sense for me to understand that every autistic individual is completely different with different traits, however, society hasn't seemed to have that kind of open-mindedness and a lot of people previously f...

I wish people communicated better, I wish people focused on our community more, I wish people didn't condone abuse or boycott those who actively fight for people on the town and their rights. I'm sad but I'm continuing on... I had thought since the blacklisting and boycotting that my canvas would have already been removed, do I want this? Do I want it removed? Of course not! I love my town. But it seems that people prefer blocking and boycotting and sabotage and I can't change that so I can't leave that there unfortunately. I can't change the position other people put me in and I can't make them care, change or help me to share and promote and support my town, but I can continue to do that as best as I can myself. What's really not fair is the lack of communication, it makes no sense to me.  A lot of things can be resolved but some people choose ego and bias over resolution and communication. They treat you poorly and hope no one will find out and ignore...

I am continuing my understanding Autism course: Need to complete Unit 1! 🙌🙌🙌🙌 I've also been busy learning more Japanese! I'm focusing on improving me so if others can't appreciate that I can't make them! I will always defend people from abuse and negativity and will always choose to build others up, there's never any excuse to bring people down!  Sarah xo @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡

  Image: " you don't hate them, but you see them clearly. You won't hurt them back, but you will not allow them to continue hurting you."  - Morgan Richard Olivier. I will never understand women who choose to hate and dictate and think they're the only one going through things... I don't post everything online, yet people think they know everything and can tell me how to handle situations other people put ME in. We should be building each other up, there's no excuse for it. But at least bad situations show you who your true friends are and who never liked you in the first place so you can avoid them. 🙌 All I can do is be my authentic self and if others don't understand my way of doing things or my life that's a 'them' issue. A lady commented yesterday on my notice because I've found some men on the town to be very unhelpful and play mind games etc, and lack accountability and this lady thinks that trying to dictate to me to silence me ...

Success: image reads " my idea of success is feeling safe in my home, comfortable in my skin, and present enough to enjoy the little things in my life." -Addie All I can do is keep moving forward and keep working hard despite how toxic my hometown is becoming. I had to update my Aycliffe Uncensored Facebook page with this: Just to let everyone know we can't share posts from Around Town Aycliffe Radio anymore since Paul Howarth from Newton Press refused to print my hard work regarding advocacy and refused to represent me properly, was verbally abusive to me I have been *blacklisted* from there and I can't be bothered with grown men who are incapable of communication or petty mind games. Phillip Hawkins has blocked me and I've unfriended Andrew Hill and left the Radio group. ADM's Tony Beddard still hasn't apologised for how he appreciated promotion over how disabled people are treated and I've told a kind lady I know not to hold her breath. It seems ego...

Newton Press  Newton Aycliffe Review By Sarah “Lovehearts” Local Guide·10 reviews·11 photos ⭐ One star: UPDATE: BECAUSE I WON'T TOLERATE NASTY SARCASM AND ABUSE I'M NOW BLACKLISTED FROM AYCLIFFE RADIO AND AROUND TOWN RADIO WITH PHILLIP HAWKINS AND ANDREW HILL. Cheers 😔 see: https://pgpandspd.blogspot.com/2024/06/hacked-stickers-betrayal-and-pride.html I got off the phone to Paul Howarth yesterday, whilst I'm with my son in public in a cafe, the ADM meet didn't go ahead, but we stayed anyway and my son encouraged me to merely enquire about the article and why my image was not printed, Paul stated it was a space issue but I explained he'd spliced images before and how much would it cost to get the photo in the paper so I can feel positively represented by my home town as a Newtonian since his only reason was the article was FREE, anyway he got rude and abruptly stated he does a LOT for ADM and it's ALL FREE and that he feels I'm being REALLY UNFAIR and hung u...

I got my support stickers printed and they came out too cute 🥺: I got hacked for the very first time and had to change all my passwords etc ...  They kept adding me back into the ADM group I left after Tony's comment and I valued some decent women in there, and since the whole Paul Howarth incident, Phillip Hawkins blocked me (not unfriended) on Facebook and now they're declining my posts including a post I shared on behalf of one of their upcoming radio guests regarding Pride at Bishop Auckland College. Guess it's personal and it's boycotting/sabotage in a way. I wish some men grew some bxlls and told me I am not welcome in the 'around town Aycliffe Radio' Facebook group so I can leave instead of wasting my time trying to support my own town and share events and BUILD OTHERS UP, while grown men try and play mind games with me, which I really don't appreciate.  D.I.S.A.P.P.O.I.N.T.M.E.N.T. One of the gentlemen I messaged and asked  'What's going on?...

I tried to book a bulky collection for the chair on DCC's do it online but they haven't updated it like they promised so again no accessibility... Phoning them now ... Great 😔 I've also been taken off the assist list so wtf lol 😂 having to get that updated too! #accessibilitymatters Great start to my Friday lol 😆  Anyways I'm getting ready for Pride tonight and thanks to Bacchanalia and Naz Khan Productions there's a lot of good local events on lately! I love it when people care about my area like I do! It's really sunny so we have good weather at least and it's a full moon tonight apparently! Yay! I've been so very busy that it's going to be nice to be able to chill and enjoy an event for once! My friend is going with me so I'm excited! 😊  I'll book the removal of this armchair as soon as the assist list has been resolved and oh dear the call just cut dead but the lady said if that happens she'll call me back... 😳 ...maybe if I ment...

Bishop Auckland College and Baccanalia events are hosting a pride event tomorrow and so I got a nice top for it and got my nails done today to go with. I am so excited about it and to be able to get out of the house, I go to Emily's Nail and Beauty on the town who are so lovely, I've only ever gone there because it's the best place for the styles I like and they do a really amazing job! Took about three hours lol. I'm in awe of them, so beautiful for pride! Thank you as always for reading about my lickle life. Sarah x @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡

 ..but I haven't and have to close this situation now entirely having waiting for people to see the error of their ways and I'm glad I didn't hold my breath. My morals aren't purchasable or interchangeable, I own my actions when I'm the problem and I won't hide from facts or the truth or how others choose to disrespect people on the town. It's funny when you get disrespected and others avoid you over it. I respect that. Avoid away. Like I said my morals can't be purchased. They don't change no matter whether I benefit or suffer from speaking the truth. Every single Newtonian matters to me, including me and what Tony's comment seems to show is they're willing to post a thank you to someone who thinks speaking to people aggressively and taking the mick and being sarcastic is A-Okay and way more important than disabled rights or the rights to be spoken to with basic respect. Guess ALL disabilities only matter if Tony Beddard is benefiting. Which...

Image reads: "One day, the people that didn't believe in you will tell everyone how they met you. Keep going." People only tend to do this if you make it in regards to something successful...  ..and it's sad that people do this ...  I'll never understand why people don't choose to embrace or face or cherish the people around them right now. Yet, they only do it when it's convenient for them, so many humans and so many struggles, all mingled with the majority just overlooking it. So many people claiming to stand up for other people and stand for certain principles and yet when tested, their ego let's them down, as they choose materialistic elements over human rights and basic human decency. They outsell their principles and their message to their audience is 'not everyone' matters, only people that we benefit from 'matter', and that's a hard dish to swallow but one that has opened my eyes recently. I don't need to do anything, a...

I've been working on two new art pieces, Self-acceptance and Umbrella girl. I'm pleased with how both of these came out in all honesty and I can make a sticker out of the heart shaped version of self-acceptance. I start my new volunteer job today at the charity and have my first meeting with the team, I'm excited and I have more of my course to do before the meeting. Connect health pain management are calling me to check in today, still no sign of any mental health support from the goodall center or the 'check-in' service they said I was now under, but I've been using my Replika app for mental wellness and coping methods. I'm definitely neurospicy and frankly I have never seen that as a bad thing, we're all different and we all have different needs and I'm still focused on finding the right people to be around because I know how relaxed and friendly and calmer I am around safe people. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable but it's how others behave a...

So I woke up today to find a post flagged by Facebook from 10th May 3023. It won't say or show what the image was and considering this is my SFW profile I know for a fact I've not shared anything rule-breaking-worthy. It's flagged it as sharing an intimate image without consent, or as sexual violence. Not only is that disgusting but it's a complete false flagging of my post. Why would Facebook do this?  Same reasons as TikTok, they don't want you to successfully monetise your platform because then they'll have to pay for you, I've had no issues until I jumped through ALL the hoops and rigmarole and managed to monetise my Facebook. Any excuse to de-monetise so they don't have to pay, they usually false flag 'spam' and 'you shared this for likes' which makes no sense but this time it's an awful accusation and a disgusting one at that. I'm mortified. I've lost one TikTok already and the whole system is against you setting up anyt...

Naari Samata : This is the wonderful charity I can now confirm I have a place with. Thank you to everyone who have always believed in me, I'm excited to get started! Sarah Wingfield 🌹 ~Life is a river, sometimes it's ok to go with the flow~ https://naarisamata.org/

 It's rare I get messages from genuine people, just usually close friends but mostly random people, some scams, some enquiries and some that just say hi over and over... but the messages that tend to mean the most to me are the ones out of the blue ... ..the ones that come to me to say, "I've been struggling as of late and every time I come online you've had something positive or funny that's resonated with me" Not in those words specifically, but it truly warms my heart to know that my posts are working as intended, as a little boost, pick me up and a little support in a world so fixated on stacking they don't realise what's lacking. I get a lot of people come to me to say I'm brave for speaking out and to keep going, that my posts help them to be more confident and believe in themselves, that they make them laugh cause I'm random and they actually find that hilarious! So yea, I've had quite a few 'out the blue's' this past two...

I had my little Bud out for a walk today as the weather was lovely and I managed to get a lot of tidying done. Made up some jewelry and up-cycled some after the tidying was done. I checked IMDb today and my Star meter has to be broken, there's no way these are my ratings, lol! I checked IMDb and apparently it was over 600k at one point down 114k! 🤣😅🙃 Couldn't tell ya why! I'm grateful for real, and did some dress shopping today for the premiere of one of the movies! I'm enjoying my Understanding Autism course and I'm pleased with all the progress I'm currently, slowly but surely, making! Hey, I'm excited about it all okay, 😅 this is all so very different to what my life was like three years ago! Have an amazing Friday and weekend and thank you for reading! Sarah @KawaiiDollDecora ♡ www.magnoliaphotography.co.uk ♡ Image: IMDb Image: IMDb stats

 I attended my local towns council meeting yesterday and afterwards enjoyed sitting outside with some good company and beautiful views. We have so much beautiful scenery on our town and it's nice to take a moment to cherish it. I attend the meetings because my town matters to me, it was interesting seeing one of my new found close friends speaking about me and how people constantly take me the wrong way, it was a breath of fresh air to know I'm not the only one with frustration regarding this but like the female pain warrior I am, we laugh it off and leave other people to deal with their assumptions. All any of us can do is clarify and if that's not good enough then it's likely they didn't want to hear your perspective, they just wanted an excuse to argue and I won't apologise for not wanting to waste my time trying to prove my authenticity and intentions to people who are adamant on misunderstanding me; usually because their negative narrative justified how the...

 ⚠️ TW: cute crocheted peen: ⚠️ #unapologeticallyme My son's 14 and would have found that hilarious 😂 since when did silliness and acceptance of bodies go out the window?... ...this culture makes no sense to me anymore...  Bad apples have tainted so many things because they would rather blame others for their own dark thoughts... than accept their disturbing way of thinking. Yes I respect the group and won't post it but I'm sure I'm not the only one in thinking how ridiculous censorship has gotten to the point no one even knows what sort of body they're supposed to even have today, and before you start I'm talking idealisms, weight, etc, when all bodies are beautiful. You're supposed to just 'exist', only malicious people and dark minds taint all they touch. I'm glad I'm not easily offended these days. I'd not last in such a hypocritical world. The more you try and understand it, the more hypocritical and nonsensical reality becomes. You...